It's always nice to say those kinds of things, and in my younger days I went with this. But now having a LOT more experience, I realize that if it ain't happening for the players, then they can't make it happen for the audience.Also important to remember that what your hear and feel on stage is not 100% representative of the mix the audience is getting. If you have a choice between sounding good in the audience but less that stellar on stage, or perfect on stage but thin/weak out front what would you pick?
Most importantly, the FOH is there for the band, not the other way around. ;-) It's the engineer's job to make it happen out front, despite any nonsense that band is creating onstage. I think we are all willing to compromise for the sake of the show, but how many stories do each of us have like mine?
And I'll add that I was relatively low in volume when I started. I had to pretty much triple my volume and add "clack" in order to get any sense of what I was playing. That's totally not my sound, nor the sound on our CD which were were promoting.
I've said before, one can usually tell onstage when the mix is good. There is a solid depth that has minimal interference with the clarity of the bass.