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What would you do?

#21
jlane72t said:
Simply: You're a member of "the band". The band that serves to back this artist. Do not confuse that with being a equal-share member of a democratic "band" situation....that is clearly not the situation you are in, and if you are expecting respect from this "artist" you should probably look for something else.
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tangentmusic said:
Sounds like you're a hired gun.
If you like the gig, take the 20 bucks & enjoy the wine.
If not - look elsewhere.
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Chainsaw Willie said:
Yeah, have him explain if you are a backing band for HIS act, or if you are all a band togeter. Being in a backing band could be OK if you know where you stand. If it is not OK with you (also totally reasonable) you should look up some of the singers and musicians that have already left and see if they would like to start something with you.
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I guess I understood the OP differently than the rest of you did. It sounds to me like he is specifically excluding the bassist:

Everyone was in the photo except me because he wanted me to take the photo. Everyone else in the band felt bad about that, saying, "Why don't we get someone else to take the photo, so the whole band can be in the photo." He answered with silence, and I ended up taking the photo.
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Maybe I'm misunderstanding though.

Either way, I think you need to talk with the guitarist/BL to determine what he sees your role being within the band. If he considers it his show and everybody else as sidemen, at least you know. If he considers everybody else as part of the band, and just you a sideman, at least you know. And he can quit beating around the bush with you. And you can decide if you're cool with that situation, and make decisions appropriately.
 
#23
$20 bucks and some wine, my answer would be I already have $20 in my pocket and a bottle of wine at home.....

If you're in it for musical satisfaction, it's OK and it's OK to let the guitarist know that. You'd be totally justified to talk to the BL about what's bothering you.
 
#24
bassbully said:
Yea that left me scratching my head also. without the practice its a decent gig.
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i guess i care more about respect and having fun than $20, to each his own. its not even remotely a situation that would interest me. given $20 per week (assuming they play every week) for 2 years is $2080 congratulations you have just made enough to buy a good bass and a few sets of strings.:rollno:
 
#25
Sounds like a douche. Tell him to find someone else. I'm sure you would have more fun playing for free with other people that actually have some semblance of respect for you. Even as a member of his backing band, if I was asked to take the picture I would have walked right there.
 
#26
Hired gun or not, this guy seems to lack human decency. If someone is your employer they still need to treat you with common respect.

I would leave this band, effective right now. I might not be totally nice about it either.
 
#29
Wesley R said:
At 58, my patience bucket is near empty, and my tolerance meter almost pegged.

In a more mature, and responsible day, I would have a private sit down and discuss the situation as well as determine if I was in the backup band for him, a hired gun, or a band member. No decisions would be made on my part until I had the answer, or couldn't get a straight answer.

Currently, my mindset would be to be less professional.
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LOL...I feel the same way...but I wouldn't even agree to a $20 gig to begin with.
 
#30
lazarusdoom said:
i guess i care more about respect and having fun than $20, to each his own. its not even remotely a situation that would interest me. given $20 per week (assuming they play every week) for 2 years is $2080 congratulations you have just made enough to buy a good bass and a few sets of strings.:rollno:
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I agree but I have never played for money so an hour playing, less than a mile away and 2 glasses of vino sounds alright to me :p I play for $33.33 an hour on average and drive 30 min to an hour + 1 hour setup teardown now. There is no vino unless I buy it :rolleyes:
 
#31
Lee Moses said:
I guess I understood the OP differently than the rest of you did. It sounds to me like he is specifically excluding the bassist:
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I did not read it that way. Considering:

whatever4 said:
we've gone through many cute female vocalists and band members in general. Usually people leave because they don't like being told what to play, or because he will make a video featuring a different vocalist if the vocalist who has done all the work can't make it to the video shoot that day. Or he will bring in a new vocalist at the last minute and say that she will sing harmony, but gives her the original vocalist's parts. We have had entire band turnovers, except for me, several times, sometimes every few weeks.
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...it sounds to me like the BL is an equal-opportunity disrespecter. We're just hearing the bassist's specific woes because he's the one telling the story here.

That said....hey, if you're happy with merely being a sideman along for the ride, there's no dishonor in that. I have been in a few bands where I wasn't musically satisfied or that thrilled with my lack of input into the band...but overall I enjoyed the situation enough for it to be worth my time. If twenty bucks and a couple of glasses of wine is worthwhile pay for you...and for me, it would be in certain situations...then more power to ya. As long as you're not deluding yourself about your role and the chances of that changing.
 
#34
These type of people are extremely manipulative as evidenced by the fact you have stuck around so long. No doubt if you quit he will make you some promises. Be prepared to be patronized but stick to your guns and tell him what is wrong and what needs to change. Sounds like the dream of success is keeping you there. But seriously, would this douche really let you in on that success?
 
#36
There is no band.

From everything the OP said, there is only ...

The Egoist.

He treats everyone as a disposable commodity, and completely disrespects the bass player.

You could talk to him, but I doubt he'd care. So start taking names and numbers of the people that come and go, and when you've got a nice long list of names and phone numbers ...

QUIT! And call the people on the list to see if they've got a gig for you or, better still, organise and take over the gig from Monsieur Le Douche.
 
#37
I would remove the material elements out of it & make your decision from the immaterial. in fewer words, I'd leave.
Conversely, what's your hourly rate? You would have to pay me much more than $20 to sit in a corner for an hour.
 
#38
whatever4 said:
What would you do?
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If you want to continue performing (and it sounds like you do), start looking for another comfortable group now - but don’t quit your current band until after you’re comfortable within the new group - then play with both groups, or until you decide to only play with one. PS: don’t let your guitard tick you off - bite the bullet, move and smile. Good luck
 

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