Whatever should I wear?

[blastoff99]

TBOT wisdom, please save me from this, and if you can't do that, please tell me what to wear so that I don't look like a complete fool or offend anybody.

My father just called. We are not especially close (never lived with him, etc), but we are friendly and talk/text every so often. He said that one of my (younger) half-brothers just got promoted to Lieutenant Colonel, and my father has invited me to be his guest at the 'dog and pony show,' as he put it. I would not likely know this half-brother if I fell over him, as I haven't seen him since 1995 or so, and I bet he looks older than he did as a pre-teen.

Still, it's an honor to be invited and I think I have to go. But what do I wear? Dear old dad is a touch vague on the details, including what HE is wearing. Complicating things further is that the dressed-up-est I ever get is a pair of khakis and a shirt. I don't own a jacket or tie, and am an odd enough size that finding something decent in a thrift store is not too likely. Although I suppose I could take this opportunity to invest in a jacket and tie, for a couple of reasons this is not a good time for that.

Do I have to do it anyway? What's appropriate attire for a civilian at one of these events? And what's it going to be like?

Thanks.

 

[Stumbo]

For every Military installation, Commissary or Gas station, there is a dress code. It's up to those there on whether or not it's inforced.
l. Civilian Clothing
(1) This Order provides the local regulations pertaining to the standards of dress for civilian clothing for all persons aboard this installation. When civilian clothing is worn, all persons aboard Camp Pendleton will ensure that their dress and personal appearance are conservative and commensurate with the high standards traditionally associated with the Marine Corps.
(2) Dependents, Retirees, Civilian Employees, Contractors and Civilian Guests are expected to meet certain standard of dress for civilian clothing at Camp Pendleton.
(a) Military sponsors are accountable to ensure that their dependents and civilians guests are aware of and comply with the standards provided in this Order.
(b) Higher standards of civilian dress may be prescribed for special events and activities.
(c) Failure to meet the standards of civilian dress by all persons aboard Camp Pendleton will result in the individual being denied access to that particular service, activity, event, or area for which the individual is inappropriately dressed.
m. Standards of Dress
(1) Standards of dress for civilian clothing worn by all service members, retirees, civlian employees, contractors, dependents, and civilian guests aboard the base are as follows:
(a) Clothing should be clean, well-maintained and properly fitted.
(b) Clothing should be worn to present a neat, orderly appearance (e.g., buttoned, belted or zipped, or fastened).
(2) The following examples of inappropriate civilian dress are general and apply to all persons aboard Camp Pendleton. These examples of inappropriate civilian dress and appearance are not all inclusive, but they represent dress and appearance which is considered to be not in keeping with the spirit and intent of these regulations and therefore not permitted on this installation.
(a) Clothing with printing, insignia or pictures which are sexually or violently offensive, obscene or suggestive in nature; promote illegal activities; depict derogatory social, religious, racial or ethnic messages; or present an impression contrary to the good order and discipline of the armed forces and the Marine Corps Base.
(b) Clothing which fits excessively brief or tight.
(c) Clothing which fits excessively baggy or loose.
(d) Bare feet in public areas except for designated swimming, sunbathing, and recreational areas.
(e) Bare chest or “shirtless” for men in public areas except for designated swimming or sunbathing areas or as authorized by area commanders.
(f) Clothing which is torn, ragged or dirty.
(g) Clothing and accessories which are intended to present a paramilitary appearance or to serve as weapons.
(h) Clothing that is designed primarily to be worn as nightwear/sleepwear.
(i) Half-shirts or abbreviated shirts or athletic items designed to be worn as an undergarment (sportsbra) are not authorized at any gym facility.
n. Minimum Dress Standards Intent. The below is provided to ensure that all understand what the minimum casual dress standards encompass and which facilities imposed the minimum dress standards aboard Camp Pendleton.
(1) The minimum standard of casual civilian dress for normal activities and business in public areas is as follows:
(a) Upper body. For men, a complete coverage short sleeve type shirt with or without pocket and designed to be worn as
an outer garment. For women, a blouse or top that provides conservative coverage.
(b) Lower Body. For men or women, shorts of conservative length and suitable for casual wear as opposed to strictly athletic activity such jogging, biking, and swimming.
(c) Footwear. Athletic or walking shoes or sandals with or without socks. Males and females are authorized to wear thong type footwear (except for shower shoes that are specifically designed for showering). Slippers or footwear designed primarily for nightwear/sleepwear are not permitted.
(d) Headgear
1. All headgear, when worn, will be worn appropriately, with the bill to the front of the head.
2. All headgear will be removed indoors.
3. The wear of clothing articles not specifically designed to be normally worn as headgear (e.g. Bandannas, Doo Rags) is prohibited.
(2) Exceptions
(a) Clothing such as tank tops, sleeveless T- shirts and athletic type shirts and shorts are appropriate only for quarters areas, physical training, sporting activities, and recreation type areas.
(b) Items designed as or resembling swimwear (bikinis, speedos, bathing suits) are appropriate for beaches and pools only.
(c) Spandex type gym attire is authorized while conducting physical training, provided that the fit of such attire is not indecent or in poor taste.

from: Invalid Link Removed

 

[Oddly]

Well, that's about as comprehensive answer as you'll ever get!
I especially like the one about billed caps.

 

[Killed_by_Death]

Khakis & a collared shirt are all you need, oh but don't wear sandals.

 

[TOOL460002]

Go to the mall and find Express for men and snag some dark gray slacks, matching socks and tie, and a dark button up. You can get a belt and shoes from Target If you don't already have that. If you're not good with matching stuff just ask an employee. If you literally don't have one outfit you could wear to events, court, or as a wedding outfit, this would be an appropriate time to spend some money (under 200 bucks) for something that will last and always be in style. Thats what i would do, and have done in the past. I wouldnt go with a jacket. I rented a suit as a groomsman the one time i really needed the full outfit.

 

[buldog5151bass]

Grey slacks, white dress shirt. Black shoes and belt. If in warm area, substitute nice khaki slack for grey, and brown shoes and belt.

Blue blazer and maroon tie - you can easily take it off if things are more casual.

That outfit will handle anything.

 

[Ox Boris]

Can't go wrong with blazer, chinos, shirt & tie and leather shoes.
The best advice I could give, reading your post, is that once you're happy with your outfit and think that you look really smart compared to usual, go an extra step on the smartness scale. I say this because I fear that the gulf between what you're used to, what you think is dressed up and what a military base expects may be vast.
The other bad news is that there is a decently sized difference between what a military base expects and what it will tolerate. You have to be dressed pretty badly to attract any action/comment personally, but that doesn't mean that a slight breach won't be front-and-centre of Mess jokes for years to come. In other words, despite the day going without incident for you, the new Colonel's life may well be punctuated with veiled references to the time a family member turned up in <insert what you thought was ok at the time>.

My sister turned up to my Passing Out Ceremony at Sandhurst wearing her usual "burst sofa" look and it followed me until the day I left the Army. Luckily, I quite enjoy being ribbed over inconsequential minutiae. But it'd get tedious if I weren't so disposed.

 

[fhm555]

Khakis and a button up white shirt with a collar, leather shoes and belt. If the shirt has tails tuck them in, if you don't want to tuck your shirt, a nice darkish 3 button polo with a collar and a straight bottom, but fair warning, the military is kinda obsessed with shirt tucked in to trousers for anything even remotely formal.

PS: black shoes and belt go with everything.

 

[blastoff99]

Thanks, all.

In principle I'm not opposed to owning a blazer/jacket and tie, but now really isn't the time. I'm on a weight-distribution plan and am about halfway through - what fits now won't in six months - so spending money I don't have on clothes I'll wear once is hard to justify.

And it's possible I might not wear them at all. Dear ol' dad is nothing if not flaky, and it's possible that he'll decide to invite one of his girlfriends instead, and not tell me until sometime after the event has come and gone. This sort of thing has happened before, multiple times. Although I wouldn't mind going (maybe?), and of course am happy for my half-brother, it's not like I know the guy. We haven't seen each other or spoken in over 20 years, and the other thing that crosses my mind is that my father *could* be making this up. He says all sorts of things about this 'kid,' and I haven't been able to verify any of them. Sometimes he'll call me, claim he's golfing with my half-brother, and when I say 'Hey I'd love to talk with him!' the answer is always 'He's putting.' 'I'll hang on' is met with 'Then he'll be driving.'

Yes, there are bigger issues here than what to wear to a shindig, and no, I'm not going to solve them.

 

[Munjibunga]

Evening resort casual.

 

[JRA]

believe it or not: you can rent clothes! google it! good luck!

 

[Oddly]

None of my business of course, and feel free to tell me to butt out, but can't you contact the half-brother yourself?

 

[Pilgrim]

Your khakis and a collared shirt are OK, but have them cleaned and pressed (light starch) at the cleaners. Shirts look much nicer with a good press and the khakis look good with sharp creased.

Shoes? Leather, SHINED. Not scuffed and ugly. Belt, same. With khakis, wear brown shoes and belt.

Line up the placket (button area) on the shirt, the belt buckle and the fly on the khakis. No one in the military would ever let these be out of alignment and it's easy to do.

 

[blastoff99]

None of my business of course, and feel free to tell me to butt out, but can't you contact the half-brother yourself?

I'd like to. But he's not easily find-able online. I have asked dear old dad for his contact info, and no deal. My aunt doesn't have it either.

 

[HeavyDuty]

It's been years since I used it, but there used to be an armed forces locator service you could contact.

And I vote for simple dress - docker-style pants with a button up collared shirt, all pressed and lightly starched. Tie optional.

 

[S-Bigbottom]

You are a Civilian there as a spectator/supporter so your dress is not as strict as his. A dress shirt and tie with dark slack will be acceptable since you do not have a suit.
You may not want what my ads are telling me.

 

[friskinator]

I'm glad to hear someone asking about proper attire in this day and age. We've lost so much decorum in that area in the past several years.

 

[Aberdumbie]

Family ties aside, having spent a part of my life in the Army, a promotion to Lt. Colonel is a fairly big deal. Shined shoes, pressed trousers, button up shirt and a tie would probably be appropriate.

 

[Ox Boris]

Shined shoes

Oh, yes. FFS polish your shoes! No need to bull them, just make sure they're brush-polished.

 

[blastoff99]

Family ties aside, having spent a part of my life in the Army, a promotion to Lt. Colonel is a fairly big deal....

I certainly get that, and want to show proper respect for the occasion and those (I assume this event will be about more people than my half-brother?) being honored.

I'm glad to hear someone asking about proper attire in this day and age. We've lost so much decorum in that area in the past several years.

I tend not to be shy about asking about stuff that is out of my area of expertise, and proper attire for various occasions absolutely qualifies. I live in a part of the country where you can get away with going to the opera dressed as a lumberjack as long as you're a clean and tidy lumberjack, even if most are in semi-formal wear. And although I don't feel bad about being a slob around my own house and yard, especially if I'm doing house/yard work, I don't venture farther than Home Depot without at least making sure my jeans and T-shirt are presentable.

I don't get out much, so I don't get the chance to see what others are doing. This feedback from all of you is really helpful.