When is it time to hang it up?

[Gluvhand]

I walked away from Ice Hockey, after playing year round for 25 years, five years ago. It just wasn't fun anymore. I was playing with retired pros on a semi-regular basis but found putting on the pads and mask to be a chore so I dug out my basses and gear and started playing in bands again. When, and if, that becomes a chore, I'll move on again. I have ups and downs with it but right now, I'm all in. My only advice is do what makes you feel good.

 

[DW1969]

Like many of you playing in a band can loose it’s shine after awhile. Been there. Gigging can be a real grind and band mates can be a-holes.
I was at the point where I just wanted to jam and not play out anymore. Got a new band now and I’m really enjoying how it has progressed in a short time. Only a matter of time before gigging comes up and I would like do some with this group.
This is where it gets un fun. I have no desire to gig every weekend any more. We talked about this when we first got together and agreed that we would look to book event like gigs that payed well.
I know that this will change and someone in the band will push to gig as much as possible. I just don’t have it in me anymore.

Not going to hang it up,
You can leave the music but the music never leaves you.

 

[glocke1]

Like many of you playing in a band can loose it’s shine after awhile. Been there. Gigging can be a real grind and band mates can be a-holes.
I was at the point where I just wanted to jam and not play out anymore. Got a new band now and I’m really enjoying how it has progressed in a short time. Only a matter of time before gigging comes up and I would like do some with this group.
This is where it gets un fun. I have no desire to gig every weekend any more. We talked about this when we first got together and agreed that we would look to book event like gigs that payed well.
I know that this will change and someone in the band will push to gig as much as possible. I just don’t have it in me anymore.

Not going to hang it up,
You can leave the music but the music never leaves you.

Probably the 5th time I've replied to this thread lol..

re: bolded...If there is anything that is completely overrated I've come to realize it's gigging. It's becoming ever more apparent to me that the vast majority of musicians I know are quite simply more interested in being seen playing than actually playing music. People really just aren't interested in getting together and working on stuff anymore, and what I mean by that working together as an actual band to make sure that the difficult parts are tight, that the grooves feel good, and most importantly working on the overall sound/feel of the group. People are so focused on playing out and being seen playing out that the music suffers in most cases and the end result is people just end up jamming through tunes on stage. While a lot of stuff comes off as passable, it could be a lot better with rehearsals.

Its not bad enough to get me to stop playing or quit gigging, but it's enough to make me turn down more gigs and to realize how much I enjoy sitting at home playing with a drum machine or improvising to a metronome and really at the end of the day thats really what should come first..Playing for yourself because you enjoy playing, not playing to be seen on stage by a bunch of drunks.

 

[hbarcat]

I actually quit my last band (classic rock covers) in 2019 because I was sick and tired of playing in bars for a lot of drunks. I intended to take a year or so off from shows to dedicate some real practice time to learning how to play jazz and then find a jazz band to join to play some better quality gigs before a better behaved audience.

So, the pandemic didn't really affect my bass playing because I was strictly playing by myself in my home studio. Now I'm fully vaccinated and feel comfortable with the idea of playing shows. I plan to start looking for a jazz band that needs a bassist.

@BigLoopDuke I don't know about your situation regarding your current lack of interest in bass playing, but perhaps you might consider changing music genres and performance venues if you're tired of the same old drunk bar scene.

 

[friskinator]

I actually quit my last band (classic rock covers) in 2019 because I was sick and tired of playing in bars for a lot of drunks. I intended to take a year or so off from shows to dedicate some real practice time to learning how to play jazz and then find a jazz band to join to play some better quality gigs before a better behaved audience.

So, the pandemic didn't really affect my bass playing because I was strictly playing by myself in my home studio. Now I'm fully vaccinated and feel comfortable with the idea of playing shows. I plan to start looking for a jazz band that needs a bassist.

@BigLoopDuke I don't know about your situation regarding your current lack of interest in bass playing, but perhaps you might consider changing music genres and performance venues if you're tired of the same old drunk bar scene.

That's a really great pivot plan. After a million years of playing in bars, I'm fed up as well. Although I'm not quite sure what genre I'd pivot to if I could.

 

[Hurricane Jimmie]

So Anyway, I told my BL in April 2020 that I was done and he'd need to look for someone else. I've been with him for 15 years and play in 2 of his bands. I usually play @ 60 gigs a year with him...all well paid and nothing too late. It was pretty tough to do, but since music is his primary source of income, I knew he'd want to work a long time before I was comfortable getting back out there.

And I can't say I've missed gigging. As things are picking back up, I've had a couple of friends call to offer me a spot in their working bands, but decided to pass. Wasn't much contemplation, just not much interest in gigging.

I keep waiting for some remorse or desire to hit me, but so far nothing. I've been gigging for 50 years and being a bass player is a major part of my identity. But I guess whatever I needed to get out of my system is finally gone. I don't even have a mild case of GAS!

Good Luck with your decision.

 

[bigdaddybass12]

Sometimes playing in a band is like owning a boat.
People say the 2 best days of a boat owner is the day you buy it and the day you sell it.
I just passed on a every Saturday night house band gig, did not want to commit to every Sat. night.

 

[3Liter]

I was at the point where I just wanted to jam and not play out anymore. Got a new band now and I’m really enjoying how it has progressed in a short time. Only a matter of time before gigging comes up and I would like do some with this group.
This is where it gets un fun. I have no desire to gig every weekend any more. We talked about this when we first got together and agreed that we would look to book event like gigs that payed well.
I know that this will change and someone in the band will push to gig as much as possible. I just don’t have it in me anymore.

Probably the 5th time I've replied to this thread lol..

re: bolded...If there is anything that is completely overrated I've come to realize it's gigging. It's becoming ever more apparent to me that the vast majority of musicians I know are quite simply more interested in being seen playing than actually playing music. People really just aren't interested in getting together and working on stuff anymore, and what I mean by that working together as an actual band to make sure that the difficult parts are tight, that the grooves feel good, and most importantly working on the overall sound/feel of the group. People are so focused on playing out and being seen playing out that the music suffers in most cases and the end result is people just end up jamming through tunes on stage. While a lot of stuff comes off as passable, it could be a lot better with rehearsals.

I can tell you that my band is exactly like the above. Started as a jam in the basement. One guy suggested we play out and he found a couple of places to play. But he was clueless on it all. So I brought the battle plan, organized the sets and stuff, another player brought the PA and did the sound. It worked out OK and we made a few bucks. In the intervening, we got capital S sloppy. Rushing tempos, and just crap playing. Made me think real hard about being out and presenting that material.

I was BIG into getting out and being seen. I'd do open mics and stuff as well because I could control all that and not worry about the drummer rushing, etc. When it all dried up, I realize how much bench time I had buying beers I didn't want and waiting my turn, plus the drive time, wake up early and get back to work.

My motivation for playing has languished. Maybe its there guys, maybe my priorities have changed. And I'm tired of slopping through the material. One thing we tried was focusing on small sets (nobody works on anything on their own, it's quite apparent). We'd pick 5 songs and run through them and then play them as a mini-concert (to nobody but the cat) as one thing at the end of the night. It worked a bit, but I'm sort of over it all. One guy is going on extended leave for a few months. Don't know if we'll jam without him for the next couple month. I kind of don't care if we don't.

 

[DW1969]

Well, it didn’t take long. The push to gig is on. We have 20 songs, still need 10 more for 3 sets. We don’t even have a set list nor had a rehearsal to get through half that. Every week 2 to 3 songs are added when we didn’t even finish the ones from the week before.

1st show to come up is on a Thursday evening. I said no, as my job starts at 5 am with a 1 hour drive. Wake up at 3:20 am.

It was booked anyway. Then I found out after their is talk behind my back of a fill in since I can’t do it. Nobody else in the band has a replacement.

So had it with this kid crap.

 

[EddiePlaysBass]

It's becoming ever more apparent to me that the vast majority of musicians I know are quite simply more interested in being seen playing than actually playing music.

So true. My current band started out great. Interesting, diverse set list, room for jamming in some songs and specific arrangements for others. We had good responses to the initial few gigs. Now? Half-ass our way through a song and it's "good enough".

I am more motivated in working on my chops on the bass, without it leading to gigs. Or getting back to playing electric upright with my ukelele rehearsal group. Or juat playing ukulele on my own. No special desire to go out in the world as a uke artist, although it IS in the back of my head.

 

[micguy]

We've all been in the same "gig drought" through all of this, and how we respond to it is as individual as our basses and our musical tastes.

There was a "live gig drought" for me, but strictly speaking, not even close to a total "gig drought". I play in churches, and before the pandemic, I had 4 gigs (different church locations) that I did. I played at one or two per weekend (one of the locations does Sunday evening services, so two gigs on a Sunday is a fairly regular occurrence for me. But I could never play 2 places at once - because I'm not omnipresent - I'm strictly unipresent.

When services went on line, they were assembled from recording at home whenever you could get to it - the notion that I could only be one place at once disappeared, so I ended up playing multiple gigs on a bunch of occasions - you could log into Youtube and see me in two or more places at once. In the middle of that, i got called from another church location, so exiting lockdown, I have 5 gigs/locations in my rotation.

In terms of when to hang it up, many of us NEED to play - it's part of our DNA. The OP stated that he has found other things to do that he likes just as much. Although I can't imagine that happening to me (I expect my desire to play will wane when the last nail is in the lid), I would say that's a very good sign that he might want to explore those other things.

 

[Bass Viking]

It's becoming ever more apparent to me that the vast majority of musicians I know are quite simply more interested in being seen playing than actually playing music.

+1. It also explains why so many are willing to play for free.

Many bands either don’t realize or don’t care that they aren’t ready to go on stage.

 

[Gustopher]

Great thread. I have been feeling the urge to bow out of playing gigs lately. I don't even put a lot of time into it, we don't rehearse much these days (everyone has busy day job and family) we play about 1-2 gigs per month except in the summer we will have more things because of fairs and festivals. We are in demand in the area and could play 2-3 times most weekends... the drummer would love that, me not so much. We are pretty good, but by no means top level for a coverband. I am the least interested in playing gigs in the band and often try to turn down anything that comes up... which isn't really fair to them... however, the scene here is very sparse and finding another lead singing bass player would probably be more difficult for them than just skipping a show or two. I had to go out of town for work a month or two ago and it was a last minute thing, I had to step out of a show that we had scheduled so they called up a guy we know from another band and had him sub for me and had our rhythm guitar player sing everything. It was a trainwreck and it's a shame because we had always said we won't sub anyone because we aren't that kind of band... but they thought since it was "just bass" it wouldn't be that bad. They forgot about the fact that I sing most songs and do backup on all the others, oh well. Just the little things that over time make me want to quit playing out and focus on playing at home and learning how to play piano and write music for myself.

 

[DW1969]

It’s “Just Bass”. Why do we get so little respect?

Everybody and their cousin plays guitar or drums. Bass not as many. So why is it they always feel that anybody can play bass?

My feeling is that if your in a band then every member makes it as good or bad as it is.
Remove one person and you change the dynamic of it all.

I would never ask for replacement player for any gig. Cancel the damn thing! It’s not worth putting on a half assed show. The money sucks anyway what is the big deal?

 

[Gustopher]

I agree with you, it wasn't even a good gig, it was easily one to cancel and not make us look bad.

 

[Marc valero]

I am 66 and my wife is always clamoring for me to cut back on my gigging, but after playing this past Sunday at a fun outdoor VFW gig, on the way home she finally said, "I can see why you like to play." She didn't elaborate and I didn't ask why she said it.
Playing in my classic rock band means 2 hour drives sometimes for good gigs on the Florida coast and breaking down at 1:30 am.
But two weekends ago, after a 9 - 1 am gig with our stuff all packed in the band trailer and waiting to get paid, three girls in their 20s are leaving the bar and one says to me and a guitar player, "You guys are very entertaining." then one of the other girls says, "You guys kicked ass."
This past Saturday a lady came up to the stage right in the middle of our set to compliment the bass playing. I raised my hand and said I am the bass player and she looks and counts the strings and says, "you have 5 strings!" Maybe that threw her off in finding me in the band.
I am getting ready to practice tonight and after 3 shows this past week, 3 shows two weeks ago - we are playing 4 shows this weekend with the holiday.
The point is, playing live with a good band and appreciative audience is very rewarding, but if you are not in the right situation, it doesn't hurt to take some time off to regroup.
I estimate we have had about 90 gigs since starting up again May 29 last year.

 

[Bass Viking]

It’s “Just Bass”. Why do we get so little respect?

Everybody and their cousin plays guitar or drums. Bass not as many. So why is it they always feel that anybody can play bass?

Because they're not as smart as they think they are. Or maybe you make it look easy.

I would never ask for replacement player for any gig. Cancel the damn thing! It’s not worth putting on a half assed show. The money sucks anyway what is the big deal?

As was mentioned earlier, some people just want to play in front of others and don't care how badly they suck or how little money they make. I don't understand it either!

 

[friskinator]

Probably the 5th time I've replied to this thread lol..

re: bolded...If there is anything that is completely overrated I've come to realize it's gigging. It's becoming ever more apparent to me that the vast majority of musicians I know are quite simply more interested in being seen playing than actually playing music. People really just aren't interested in getting together and working on stuff anymore, and what I mean by that working together as an actual band to make sure that the difficult parts are tight, that the grooves feel good, and most importantly working on the overall sound/feel of the group. People are so focused on playing out and being seen playing out that the music suffers in most cases and the end result is people just end up jamming through tunes on stage. While a lot of stuff comes off as passable, it could be a lot better with rehearsals.

Its not bad enough to get me to stop playing or quit gigging, but it's enough to make me turn down more gigs and to realize how much I enjoy sitting at home playing with a drum machine or improvising to a metronome and really at the end of the day thats really what should come first..Playing for yourself because you enjoy playing, not playing to be seen on stage by a bunch of drunks.

I'm doing a sub this weekend with the wedding/corporate band I used to be in (no rehearsal), and the guitar player briefed me on the new keyboard player. He told me she wasn't good at all, and to make sure not to have her in my monitor. My first thought was "why is she in the band?" But just like the old days, the BL isn't interested in doing the work to find quality players.

I checked out the new key player's social media, and as predicted, it's a lot of self-promoting posts that would have followers believe she's a pro. Should be an interesting gig.

 

[juggahnaught]

A serious question that I'm pondering...when is it time to hang it up.

I've been playing bass for 25 years, and for 20 of those years, I've been playing in bands on stages and in clubs. In the last band I was in, we came screeching to a halt as COVID shutdowns cancelled our last show mid-March of last year.

Since then, I've simply found other activities that I enjoy as much as playing bass. But, the past year has also basically laid the band I was in to rest, with some members being too freaked out to play out (especially in our state where mandates got relaxed, even before vaccines were taking off and across the board, many folks don't follow any sort of protocol once alcohol is involved).

I've gone through droughts before, but this somehow feels different. The pool of folks who I know to team up with keeps getting smaller and smaller and at this point, I'm not sure who I'd start a new project with. I'm also not sure what the end goal would be. I've really enjoyed entertaining crowds and music has been front and center of many of my friendships. It was never about making any money at it, and Lord knows we didn't. But, I'm hitting an age where I reflect a lot more and I think about what a show or set might look like and I'm just not feeling the balance in enthusiasm versus what you generally put up with in taking on live gigs.

I've witnessed a number of my friends that still perform, share surveys among their audiences about comfort levels of going out to see live music soon, and none of the findings seem re-assuring.

I suppose I'm answering my own question, but I really am asking for some additional perspective. Am I the only one feeling this? I have really enjoyed playing and it's sort of defined me throughout my late teens and most of my adult life. I'll still sit and strum a little acoustic guitar for my wife and dog every now and then, but throughout the past year, we've been more likely to find enjoyment in other stuff.

Late to the party....but I'll weigh in.

In my experience, music ebbs and flows. Sometimes we play a lot, and sometimes we don't. Often, music itself isn't tied to gigging or playing with other people - but due to the general status of this instrument as an ensemble instrument (though some people do more with it), playing bass generally does equate to playing with a group of people, and/or playing gigs.

It's okay to rediscover other stuff you like. I rediscovered languages - Spanish, and now I'm learning Chinese (although I've been really slack since I moved apartments a few months ago) and I'm working little by little at getting into physical shape. But the music won't disappear, it'll just be dormant. And it may manifest in other ways, also. (For example, I wasn't gigging, but while I was trying to keep in playing shape, I started using my programming skills to make some music-based practice tools for myself.)

I think that in your case, based on what I've read, that there are some themes that are conflated. Music isn't necessarily live performance, and it's not necessarily gigs either. It sounds as though you're not necessarily going to hang up your music, but it does sound as though you might be over providing live entertainment for a while, which is understandable. That doesn't mean you won't play. It just means you won't be performing live to entertain audiences (who may or may not be worth it anyway).

I haven't really said anything that someone else hasn't already said in this thread (been away a while, so I didn't read the entire thing) but hope this helps.

I'm doing a sub this weekend with the wedding/corporate band I used to be in (no rehearsal), and the guitar player briefed me on the new keyboard player. He told me she wasn't good at all, and to make sure not to have her in my monitor. My first thought was "why is she in the band?" But just like the old days, the BL isn't interested in doing the work to find quality players.

I checked out the new key player's social media, and as predicted, it's a lot of self-promoting posts that would have followers believe she's a pro. Should be an interesting gig.

I am morbidly curious as to how this turned out.

 

[friskinator]

Late to the party....but I'll weigh in.

In my experience, music ebbs and flows. Sometimes we play a lot, and sometimes we don't. Often, music itself isn't tied to gigging or playing with other people - but due to the general status of this instrument as an ensemble instrument (though some people do more with it), playing bass generally does equate to playing with a group of people, and/or playing gigs.

It's okay to rediscover other stuff you like. I rediscovered languages - Spanish, and now I'm learning Chinese (although I've been really slack since I moved apartments a few months ago) and I'm working little by little at getting into physical shape. But the music won't disappear, it'll just be dormant. And it may manifest in other ways, also. (For example, I wasn't gigging, but while I was trying to keep in playing shape, I started using my programming skills to make some music-based practice tools for myself.)

I think that in your case, based on what I've read, that there are some themes that are conflated. Music isn't necessarily live performance, and it's not necessarily gigs either. It sounds as though you're not necessarily going to hang up your music, but it does sound as though you might be over providing live entertainment for a while, which is understandable. That doesn't mean you won't play. It just means you won't be performing live to entertain audiences (who may or may not be worth it anyway).

I haven't really said anything that someone else hasn't already said in this thread (been away a while, so I didn't read the entire thing) but hope this helps.



I am morbidly curious as to how this turned out.

It wasn't great. I honestly have no idea how good or bad the key player was, since she wasn't in my monitor and the stage volume was fairly loud. But there were several times I looked back and she wasn't playing anything at all. There was also a sax player on the gig that was behind me on stage, and instead of playing specific parts, he just freestyled over everything. Not fun.