But here is some light humor written by Jews for Jews
Hebonics
The Encino School Board has declared Jewish English a second language. Backers of the move say the school district is the first in the nation to recognize Hebonics as the language of many of America's Jews. Here are some descriptions of the characteristics of the language, and samples of phrases in standard English and in Hebonics.
Samples of Pronunciation Characteristics
Hebonics hardens consonants at the end of words. Thus, "hand" becomes "handt."
The letter "w" is always pronounced as if it were a "v." Thus, "walking" becomes "valking.
"R" sounds are transformed to a guttural utterance that is virtually impossible to spell in English, as in "it's ghraining alghready?"
Samples of Idiomatic Characteristics
Questions are always answered with questions:
Question: "How do you feel?" Answer: "How should I feel?"
The subject is often placed at the end of a sentence after a pronoun has been used at the beginning: "She dances beautifully, that girl."
The sarcastic repetition of words by adding "shm" to the front is used for emphasis: "mountains shmountains"; "turtle shmurtle"
Sample Use Comparisons:
Standard English "He walks slow"
Hebonics
"Like a fly in the ointment he walks"
Standard English
"Sorry, I do not know the time"
Hebonics
"What do I look like, a clock to you?"
Standard English
"I hope things turn out for the best"
Hebonics
"You should BE so lucky"
Standard English
"Anything can happen"
Hebonics
"It is never so bad, it can't get worse"
Again this is very light humor, so don't be offended... Enjoy
