Winter Build Off 2022: Mortimer

[Panada]

Here's my contribution to the 2022 Winter Build Off. Start date came up while I'm travelling, so let's consider this placeholder of a thread as commitment mechanism to get me to actually do something. I took a couple snaps before I left, so I think I can pull this off.

I'm aiming for a parts build of 30" fretless four-string. I'm starting with this stillborn husk of an LP-style guitar from LAG. I assume the history of the thing went like--

LAG guy1: I know we mostly make slightly gimmicky low-midrange acoustic guitars, but how about we try some electric ones?
LAG guy2: I guess we could, but can we make them bile-colored and covered in gunk?
LAG guy1: You read my mind!
LAG guy3: You're both fired.
LAG guy2: So what are we going to do with these?
<end scene>

I'd like to give this instrument a rebirth as a cruder, less lovely derivative of a famous mouse.

Here's what I have in mind:

• Pull the frets
• Shave down/off the fretboard
• Make and install a nut
• Make and install a fingerboard
• Plug, re-drill, and re-shape the headstock
• Make a pickguard to cover the pickup routs
• Make a bridge and tailpiece from fingerboard off-cuts
• Piezo element under saddle made from whatever I do the nut with
• Electronics pulled from cheap plastic unit for retrofitting acoustic guitars
• Tone controls replaced with internal trim pots
• Single volume knob brought round to the front
• Total refinish

I don't actually know how to do much of any of this, but I'm willing to give it a shot. I'll ask questions as I get stuck.

 

[Crawforde]

Sounds fun. I’ll watch.

 

[Beej]

Excellent! And... because this is driving me nuts... is it Panada like Canada? Or Panada like Granada?

 

[Panada]

Like Canada. This is made explicit in the first line of the Shel Silverstein poem from which I took it.

In Manitoba, Canada
There dwells the lop-eared panada
A native of Uganada
Who sadly lost his way.

 

[Beej]

Like Canada. This is made explicit in the first line of the Shel Silverstein poem from which I took it.

In Manitoba, Canada
There dwells the lop-eared panada
The strangest creature I've raninta,
Who sadly lost his way.

. Deep exhale... Yeah, now that satisfies the OCD. Whew. That was like pushing all the buttons in an elevator or lining up an entire tray of french fries. Solid gold.

 

[TerribleTim68]

I'm moving to Uganana.

 

[rojo412]

If you make a second project, will you please call it "Randolph?"
(Trading Places fans, anyone?)

 

[Panada]

If you make a second project, will you please call it "Randolph?"
(Trading Places fans, anyone?)

Will do!

Mostly had this in mind for the current build, tho:

 

[Matt Liebenau]

Obviously not the Mortimer Mouse from Outland then?

Sorry, I just really liked Bloom County as a kid.

 

[Panada]

Obviously not the Mortimer Mouse from Outland then?

Oh, I like it! Portnoy is on deck.

 

[T_Bone_TL]

That fretboard wear is something else....

 

[Panada]

That fretboard wear is something else....

It is something else, but not wear. It's a bunch of oversprayed crap from the thick, disgusting stuff that I'm honestly not sure was ever supposed to be a finish (maybe some sort of industrial protective thing?) that's caked on the body and rest of the neck. The frets were installed but never levelled or filed in any way. The piece of wood used for the fretboard is actually one of the nicer parts of the instrument. Too bad there's no way to salvage it.

 

[T_Bone_TL]

The piece of wood used for the fretboard is actually one of the nicer parts of the instrument. Too bad there's no way to salvage it.

You could try starting with heat and a knife rather than going straight to shaving it off.

 

[Haroldo]

How did you come into possession of this thing?

 

[Panada]

You could try starting with heat and a knife rather than going straight to shaving it off.

I'm considering it, though I'm dubious about being able to repurpose it.

How did you come into possession of this thing?

Guitar Fetish has a section on their website of factory overruns. They seem to vary pretty wildly in terms of condition. A few weeks ago when I ordered this one they had a handful that were comparable to this. It was on sale and I paid ~$85 for it.

 

[T_Bone_TL]

I'm honestly not sure was ever supposed to be a finish (maybe some sort of industrial protective thing?) that's caked on the body and rest of the neck.

If it's what you speculate it might be, it might be able to be peeled off (rather than needing stripped, etc.) Something intended to protect in handling is typically also made to be easily removed when no longer needed. I hope that's the case here.

 

[Panada]

If it's what you speculate it might be, it might be able to be peeled off (rather than needing stripped, etc.)

Good call. I hadn't thought to try that but will certainly give it a shot.