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Wireless: 2 sends + IEM

When I can hear myself, I'm absolutely confident in what I'm doing. I'm not great, but being able to hear my mistakes is enough for me to work it out and keep going. My issue is my inability to discern my pitch, and ideally solving that without a wire between me and a monitor source, and more ideally solving that without spending a truckload of cash.

Monitor mixes seem so inconsistent, it's tough to know what I'm getting (hearing) until I'm jumping around mid song (sound check just doesn't cover a whole set) . I'm just trying to solve that. If a lav mic isn't the answer, so be it, I'm just looking for a way to be certain my audio gets to my ear, preferably without a wire connection.

I suggest you practice singing with a mic and monitor so you can get used to it.

Ideally you need a dedicated monitor mix that is tailored to your needs. My belief is we perceive and process sound differently when we are making the sound. Sounds don't seem as loud when we are making them. So if you are singing, you need your voice to be louder in your mix than everyone else in order to be comfortable.

Regarding the inconsistency of your monitor mixes? Monitor sends are normally set up pre fader on the mixing console. This means the audio tech can adjust the FOH mix without impacting the monitor mixes. If the board is not configured properly and the monitor sends are set to post fader, any changes to the FOH mix will track in the monitor mixes. If the levels and balance of the monitor mixes are changing throughout the set, this is the first thing I would look into.

Also if instruments are mixed into the monitors this could be a source of the problem. If the guitar rig is mic'ed and mixed into the monitors, any changes the guitarist makes to his/her sound will track in all mixes derived from the mic'ed signal. Often bass is run from a Pre EQ DI. So the bass player may be free to adjust volume and EQ without impacting any of the mixes. But if the DI is Post EQ, then EQ changes will impact all mixes derived from the DI'ed signal.
 
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When I can hear myself, I'm absolutely confident in what I'm doing. I'm not great, but being able to hear my mistakes is enough for me to work it out and keep going. My issue is my inability to discern my pitch, and ideally solving that without a wire between me and a monitor source, and more ideally solving that without spending a truckload of cash.

Monitor mixes seem so inconsistent, it's tough to know what I'm getting (hearing) until I'm jumping around mid song (sound check just doesn't cover a whole set) . I'm just trying to solve that. If a lav mic isn't the answer, so be it, I'm just looking for a way to be certain my audio gets to my ear, preferably without a wire connection.
This is an experience thing... You DO get used to finding yourself in a monitor mix, epecially if you can get FOH to "give you more me"!
If you have IEM's then the mix is all yours.
I (posted elsewhere here) about a gig I did a couple of weeks ago now.. no IEM's. I've been exclusively IEM for 4+ yrs now. First gig in that long without ears.
Not only that but FOH speakers on sticks for kick and vox only and NO wedge for me :(
I had to find "me" in the FOH mix and do all my harmonies like that and try to separate from lead and the other harmony vox - which I usually adjust to balance how I like in my IEM mix.

The first (1hr) set (of 3) was a total mind-phreak adjusting to a VERY LOUD stage (compared to using IEM's), bass amp behind me, 2 guitar amps (tube) and a pedal steel amp that I only heard during leads. Normally, pedal is constanlty in my mix (rhythm fill) quite nicely. I also had cymbals and toms 6 feet from my head and I NEVER put those in my mix.
I felt totally WEIRD and probably something like you are feeling with your issue...
 
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Loving the real-life experience sharing. <head_nodding=intermittent>
Carry on! (yeah, yeah, Kansas).
The audience must NEVER be aware of the challenges faced on stage. They really don't care nor understand.
As long as it sounds good to them, they have little thought for what it took to "make it so" (Jean-luc Picard).
 
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