Shoulda told him "It's not a guitar, it's a bass."
(okay, I'm assuming you were playing bass. and I also know that it's a bass guitar. but c'mon, it's still gold)
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Worst gig you ever had.
- Thread starter Down & Outman
- Start date
Shoulda told him "It's not a guitar, it's a bass."
(okay, I'm assuming you were playing bass. and I also know that it's a bass guitar. but c'mon, it's still gold)
scottbass
Bass lines like a big, funky giant
In the mid 70's the musician's union (remember those?) sent me to fill in with a country band at a bar in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. That's right, jaywa, your town! I got there before the band did, and when they arrived I helped them load in and then took a look at the set list. Nothing too tough, lots of George Jones, Tammy Wynette, Loretta Lynn-type stuff. I was 19 and had long hair and a beard. The band consisted of two couples, and they were all in their late 30's to mid-40's and had well-oiled hair. I never did figure out who was married to who - it seemed to be kinda interchangeable.
They gave me a shirt they told me I had to wear. It was a size medium, so it was only 2 sizes too small. You get the picture: lots of oval-shaped gaps of skin showing between the buttons.
The band leader was kinda mean looking and gave me one instruction: "Now don't be playin' too jazzy."
No problem. It was country, and back then country wasn't anything like the MOR pop/soft rock like today's country. Just play the roots and fifths and walk up and down for the chord changes, right? Except every time I walked up to the IV or back to the I the band leader would shoot me the evil eye. And he must have told me five times "I told you not to play so jazzy!"
All four of these people drank a lot of Jack before, during, and between sets. We were gonna play four sets that night, and halfway through the third set one of the guys and one of the gals were so polluted they couldn't be understood when they sang, and they had to prop themselves up in order to remain reasonably vertical. The band leader announced "Now here's one for the young people" and we launched into the worst version of Proud Mary I have ever heard. No problem. I knew that bass line note for note just the way it was on the record. When it got to the point where the bass line walks up to the V, I played it that way, and the band leader stopped everybody mid-song.
Using generous doses of profanity on-mike, he fired me on the spot because "no one here wants to hear that hard rock crap". So they got their shirt back and I left. I had to file a grievance with the union in order to get paid.
Wow, was that fun!
They gave me a shirt they told me I had to wear. It was a size medium, so it was only 2 sizes too small. You get the picture: lots of oval-shaped gaps of skin showing between the buttons.
The band leader was kinda mean looking and gave me one instruction: "Now don't be playin' too jazzy."
No problem. It was country, and back then country wasn't anything like the MOR pop/soft rock like today's country. Just play the roots and fifths and walk up and down for the chord changes, right? Except every time I walked up to the IV or back to the I the band leader would shoot me the evil eye. And he must have told me five times "I told you not to play so jazzy!"
All four of these people drank a lot of Jack before, during, and between sets. We were gonna play four sets that night, and halfway through the third set one of the guys and one of the gals were so polluted they couldn't be understood when they sang, and they had to prop themselves up in order to remain reasonably vertical. The band leader announced "Now here's one for the young people" and we launched into the worst version of Proud Mary I have ever heard. No problem. I knew that bass line note for note just the way it was on the record. When it got to the point where the bass line walks up to the V, I played it that way, and the band leader stopped everybody mid-song.
Using generous doses of profanity on-mike, he fired me on the spot because "no one here wants to hear that hard rock crap". So they got their shirt back and I left. I had to file a grievance with the union in order to get paid.
Wow, was that fun!
Got lots of gigs that were the Talk of Tartarus over the years
Last summer I was working with my son's power trio.
Gtr player had booked a car cruise gig.
Cool, I like cars, my son is a certified mechanic.
It was about an hour away, we had the drum kit, full PA and my bass rig.
Showed up at the address. Lots of incredible cars in the P-lot
But the location was an Arbys. *Danger Will Robinson Danger*
Scouted around the location for power and a place to set up.
Long run for my lines, but no prob, I use 12 and 10 gauge stuff.
We set up, get the break tunes going,
and a junior-grade mgr shows up, says we gotta move away from the entrance (which we weren't blocking)
Ummm, OK, so we moved everything down a bit, kicked the tunes on again,
and a GM showed up, "You fellas have to set up by the AC unit."
So we moved everything a second time, and ready to break into our first set.
THAT'S when the boss showed up, and stopped the whole thing.
He and the gtr player are arguing in the parking lot.
The guitard had gotten a tentative deal, and didn't pursue it, or run it through corporate.
Of he told us it was all a done deal.
So he's out there, mad and getting madder.
Face is getting red, veins are sticking out...........
Gave my son the high sign: pack it up and get the hell outta Dodge.
We hired another gtr player soon after.
Last summer I was working with my son's power trio.
Gtr player had booked a car cruise gig.
Cool, I like cars, my son is a certified mechanic.
It was about an hour away, we had the drum kit, full PA and my bass rig.
Showed up at the address. Lots of incredible cars in the P-lot
But the location was an Arbys. *Danger Will Robinson Danger*
Scouted around the location for power and a place to set up.
Long run for my lines, but no prob, I use 12 and 10 gauge stuff.
We set up, get the break tunes going,
and a junior-grade mgr shows up, says we gotta move away from the entrance (which we weren't blocking)
Ummm, OK, so we moved everything down a bit, kicked the tunes on again,
and a GM showed up, "You fellas have to set up by the AC unit."
So we moved everything a second time, and ready to break into our first set.
THAT'S when the boss showed up, and stopped the whole thing.
He and the gtr player are arguing in the parking lot.
The guitard had gotten a tentative deal, and didn't pursue it, or run it through corporate.
Of he told us it was all a done deal.
So he's out there, mad and getting madder.
Face is getting red, veins are sticking out...........
Gave my son the high sign: pack it up and get the hell outta Dodge.
We hired another gtr player soon after.
In the mid 70's the musician's union (remember those?) sent me to fill in with a country band at a bar in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. That's right, jaywa, your town! I got there before the band did, and when they arrived I helped them load in and then took a look at the set list. Nothing too tough, lots of George Jones, Tammy Wynette, Loretta Lynn-type stuff. I was 19 and had long hair and a beard. The band consisted of two couples, and they were all in their late 30's to mid-40's and had well-oiled hair. I never did figure out who was married to who - it seemed to be kinda interchangeable.
They gave me a shirt they told me I had to wear. It was a size medium, so it was only 2 sizes too small. You get the picture: lots of oval-shaped gaps of skin showing between the buttons.
The band leader was kinda mean looking and gave me one instruction: "Now don't be playin' too jazzy."
No problem. It was country, and back then country wasn't anything like the MOR pop/soft rock like today's country. Just play the roots and fifths and walk up and down for the chord changes, right? Except every time I walked up to the IV or back to the I the band leader would shoot me the evil eye. And he must have told me five times "I told you not to play so jazzy!"
All four of these people drank a lot of Jack before, during, and between sets. We were gonna play four sets that night, and halfway through the third set one of the guys and one of the gals were so polluted they couldn't be understood when they sang, and they had to prop themselves up in order to remain reasonably vertical. The band leader announced "Now here's one for the young people" and we launched into the worst version of Proud Mary I have ever heard. No problem. I knew that bass line note for note just the way it was on the record. When it got to the point where the bass line walks up to the V, I played it that way, and the band leader stopped everybody mid-song.
Using generous doses of profanity on-mike, he fired me on the spot because "no one here wants to hear that hard rock crap". So they got their shirt back and I left. I had to file a grievance with the union in order to get paid.
Wow, was that fun!
Uhhhhh...wow.
NO WALKING BASSLINES!!! ***!?
Sometimes I'd kill to have a bass player that doesn't just ride the root or alternate the fifths or slap inappropriate funk now adays. (Fortunately, I found one!)
Worst gig I ever had was the one where we didn't actually do the gig.
We arrived on a Wednesday in 1986 for a 5 day stint at the happening rock and roll club in our area. We spent over 4 hours setting up PA and lights, got it all ready and were about to do a soundcheck. The manager calls over the singer, he gets this shocked look on his face, comes back and tells us that the deal to sell the club had just closed and the new owners were closing down the club immediately so they could reconstruct into a gay bar and we had to pack our stuff up and leave. Best part...no pay!
We arrived on a Wednesday in 1986 for a 5 day stint at the happening rock and roll club in our area. We spent over 4 hours setting up PA and lights, got it all ready and were about to do a soundcheck. The manager calls over the singer, he gets this shocked look on his face, comes back and tells us that the deal to sell the club had just closed and the new owners were closing down the club immediately so they could reconstruct into a gay bar and we had to pack our stuff up and leave. Best part...no pay!
Had a few. Being a freak magnet to begin with who ends us in strange places with an indescribable urge to push things as far as humanly possible has benefits.
Let's see.
Whipping hair around (Very long!) and catch on a par light mounted to the side of the stage. Burning hair smell. Not sure if hair is on fire. Brilliant singer decides pouring beer on me is a great solution. Fortunately I manage to yank the dimmer power cord all the pars are attached too. *Whew* Audience loved it.
Singer getting pummeled for having sex with someone's girlfriend, in the bathroom thus cutting out our second set.
Girl dancing on stage pukes, onto our drummers kit. He tries to keep going but every time he hits a head the vomit bounces all over the place. We have to stop to cleanoff and take a quick hooker bath in the bathroom.
Mild hallucinogenic slipped into my drink by someone, fortunately it didn't kick in till the very end of our set. Also the band was very supportive as I made them aware of what was happening.
Stepped outside a venue in Fort Meyers, standing on a corner waiting for drummer to pull up for quick loadout. Busy Saturday night, people everywhere. Suddenly I was hit four times (maybe five?) by a retractable baton in the mid section and shoulder, a police officer standing over me just looked at me confused. Said "sorry" and moved on. I think this was a case of mistaken identity. I literally had to play the night with no strap sitting on a stool.
Let's see.
Whipping hair around (Very long!) and catch on a par light mounted to the side of the stage. Burning hair smell. Not sure if hair is on fire. Brilliant singer decides pouring beer on me is a great solution. Fortunately I manage to yank the dimmer power cord all the pars are attached too. *Whew* Audience loved it.
Singer getting pummeled for having sex with someone's girlfriend, in the bathroom thus cutting out our second set.
Girl dancing on stage pukes, onto our drummers kit. He tries to keep going but every time he hits a head the vomit bounces all over the place. We have to stop to cleanoff and take a quick hooker bath in the bathroom.
Mild hallucinogenic slipped into my drink by someone, fortunately it didn't kick in till the very end of our set. Also the band was very supportive as I made them aware of what was happening.
Stepped outside a venue in Fort Meyers, standing on a corner waiting for drummer to pull up for quick loadout. Busy Saturday night, people everywhere. Suddenly I was hit four times (maybe five?) by a retractable baton in the mid section and shoulder, a police officer standing over me just looked at me confused. Said "sorry" and moved on. I think this was a case of mistaken identity. I literally had to play the night with no strap sitting on a stool.
Back in the 80's I join a band and thought I was joining a democracy as we had band meetings. However a pattern formed, we would all vote against the singers mad ideas, he would agree and then do them anyway. He underwrote our first gig with the band's money, hired a massive hall, needed 200 to break even, hired and paid a support band and then got everyone to promote it for him. He booked it the week my wofe had our first baby and the keyboard player went to hospital. He go the keyboard player to sub and booked a last minute rehearsal to teach him the songs and promptly didnt go to it.
He got some 'roadies' who taped everything to the floor including the guitar lead so the gutiarist couldnt put it on. THis was in pitch black with a smoke machine going till we went on. The support band shad an argument that day and insisted on changing and rehearsing their new sew set in our sound check. They booked the gig on a day where I had an afternoon gig elsewhere and set up my amps behind the pa colums so nobody could see me.
We had another gig two weeks later so I went and had it out with the singer. Well he had decided that he was the democracy's leader and I was there to play bass and shut up. I told him where to stick it and that the next gig was my last.
The day of the gig the drummer has a melt down and plays all the songs wrong, no timing, jut lost it. he was the first drummer we auditioned and the singer had decided to cancel the others without hearing them and without telling the band.
They limped on for a while. Just after the new bassist and guitarist had commited money and time to the project the singer disbanded it without consulting the others.
I've got loads of contenders...
Wedding gig where we had to wait to set up for 5 hours with no food, no drink and no changing room until they were ready and then wanted us to set up immediately. Then we had to clear the stage while they did some bullsh*t announcement during which a drunk guest fell over trashing the drum kit, sax and damaging my bass neck. Last wedding I did.
Local festival where the band before us and the tombolo went on too long and we preceeded the headliner so we got our set cut in half.
Got booked as a replacement for a band that bailed and did an experiemntal noise rock set to a load of pensioners. Headliners told us we were going on last and did their set and bailed.
Did a musical for a school over 5 nights and had a load of rehearsals to find that we had learnt the wrong set as we all bought the video and they were doing an obscure stage version and hadnt told us. The cast were still learning songs on the dress rehearsal. The main cast were picked because they were cool and the good singers were in the choir. Their definition of sold out was to keep selling tickets until nobody wanted them. The second night there were an extra 3 rows of seats right up to the band. The next night the sound desk was in the kitchen. Our stage area shrunk every night. We had no room for stands so the keys music was held by a backing singer. She kept dropping the book on the program buttons changing the piano to drum kit. People kept giving the drummer the evil eye. One of the singers kept coming in 2 beats early. One night they kill the house lights for the intro and nobody can see their music. Oh the band are now cramped in front of the stage where the heating ducts are and they cannot turn it off. To cut down on mics they had a radio hand held where the cast palm it to who needs it at a certain point. However one night one guy forgets and is 10 feet away from the singer. So he bowls the live mic.
One yearly charity gig I've avoided, I get arm twisted to play guitar on a Christmas medley, about 20 minutes worth. The lead singer is unstable and after providing no music, no keys and getting frustrated with the band in the rehearsals, decides on the first day to go home just before the start of the gig.
A female backing singer is drafted in to lead and no time to change the keys so it's so high only bats can hear it. The next night he turns up and the organisers cut our medley at the last moment. I refuse to get involved any more.
He got some 'roadies' who taped everything to the floor including the guitar lead so the gutiarist couldnt put it on. THis was in pitch black with a smoke machine going till we went on. The support band shad an argument that day and insisted on changing and rehearsing their new sew set in our sound check. They booked the gig on a day where I had an afternoon gig elsewhere and set up my amps behind the pa colums so nobody could see me.
We had another gig two weeks later so I went and had it out with the singer. Well he had decided that he was the democracy's leader and I was there to play bass and shut up. I told him where to stick it and that the next gig was my last.
The day of the gig the drummer has a melt down and plays all the songs wrong, no timing, jut lost it. he was the first drummer we auditioned and the singer had decided to cancel the others without hearing them and without telling the band.
They limped on for a while. Just after the new bassist and guitarist had commited money and time to the project the singer disbanded it without consulting the others.
I've got loads of contenders...
Wedding gig where we had to wait to set up for 5 hours with no food, no drink and no changing room until they were ready and then wanted us to set up immediately. Then we had to clear the stage while they did some bullsh*t announcement during which a drunk guest fell over trashing the drum kit, sax and damaging my bass neck. Last wedding I did.
Local festival where the band before us and the tombolo went on too long and we preceeded the headliner so we got our set cut in half.
Got booked as a replacement for a band that bailed and did an experiemntal noise rock set to a load of pensioners. Headliners told us we were going on last and did their set and bailed.
Did a musical for a school over 5 nights and had a load of rehearsals to find that we had learnt the wrong set as we all bought the video and they were doing an obscure stage version and hadnt told us. The cast were still learning songs on the dress rehearsal. The main cast were picked because they were cool and the good singers were in the choir. Their definition of sold out was to keep selling tickets until nobody wanted them. The second night there were an extra 3 rows of seats right up to the band. The next night the sound desk was in the kitchen. Our stage area shrunk every night. We had no room for stands so the keys music was held by a backing singer. She kept dropping the book on the program buttons changing the piano to drum kit. People kept giving the drummer the evil eye. One of the singers kept coming in 2 beats early. One night they kill the house lights for the intro and nobody can see their music. Oh the band are now cramped in front of the stage where the heating ducts are and they cannot turn it off. To cut down on mics they had a radio hand held where the cast palm it to who needs it at a certain point. However one night one guy forgets and is 10 feet away from the singer. So he bowls the live mic.
One yearly charity gig I've avoided, I get arm twisted to play guitar on a Christmas medley, about 20 minutes worth. The lead singer is unstable and after providing no music, no keys and getting frustrated with the band in the rehearsals, decides on the first day to go home just before the start of the gig.
A female backing singer is drafted in to lead and no time to change the keys so it's so high only bats can hear it. The next night he turns up and the organisers cut our medley at the last moment. I refuse to get involved any more.
Fat Steve
The poodle bites, the poodle chews it.
Played a battle of the bands (pay to play/ticket sales scam) a few years back at this pretty cool place in LA. We were scheduled to be the first band for the BotB, which turned out to be the second band. The act that played before us was booked by the venue owner (who never mentioned anything to the promoter of the BoTB) and had nothing to do with the event. Now, the fellas in the first band were some pretty rough looking dudes playing total "Camaro" rock (think AC/DC meets Nickleback). Well, after about a 40 minutes of these guys, the promoter tells them their time is up. Well, the drummer took issue with this. Now keep in mind, this guy's 6'2" and weighs about 300lbs and looks like he just rode 200 miles with the Hells Angels. He gets up and starts screaming at the promoter using just about every insult in the book. We're back stage getting our cases unpacked and this drummer comes flying down the stairs from the stage in a rage, throwing his trap cases around as well as his drums. He was literally throwing his drums at the walls, on to the floor and in our general direction. His band is trying in vain to get him to calm down, but it's no use. This goes on for the next 15 minutes as we try and get past him through this small door way to the stage to set our stuff up. Finally we get onstage and played our set. We blew the doors off the place and by far brought the most people. We get a great response and even had to play an encore after we had left the stage and unplugged our instruments. The next three bands were pretty good, but no match for the show we delivered or the response we got. Turns out at the end of the night, the winner of the BotB was the most mediocre set of the night, and also coincidentally, buddies with the promoter.
And that was the last time we played a BotB. Never did hear about what happened with the rage-face in the band before us, but I assume he was able to leave the club without the constraints of handcuffs somehow.
And that was the last time we played a BotB. Never did hear about what happened with the rage-face in the band before us, but I assume he was able to leave the club without the constraints of handcuffs somehow.
I've had some gigs where the band almost outnumbered the audience. Even so, the people who were at these really liked us--which doesn't make up for a fairly empty dance floor. We just treated it like a paid rehearsal and gave them our best.
My weirdest gig was when I was in a New Wave band that did Elvis Costello, Cars, and other tunes from the early MTV years. We were booked at a bar in Manchester, NH (Jillian's) that was across the street from a large stadium that had a rodeo scheduled that night. Of course, when the rodeo let out, a lot of suburban cowboys wandered over.
The band-crowd mismatch was like something out of a Twilight Zone episode!
Still, some of the crowd, mostly gals, enjoyed us and some danced with their girlfriends while the guys hung back and drank...which of course was fine.
Doesn't hold a candle to some of the stories here, though.
My weirdest gig was when I was in a New Wave band that did Elvis Costello, Cars, and other tunes from the early MTV years. We were booked at a bar in Manchester, NH (Jillian's) that was across the street from a large stadium that had a rodeo scheduled that night. Of course, when the rodeo let out, a lot of suburban cowboys wandered over.
The band-crowd mismatch was like something out of a Twilight Zone episode!
Still, some of the crowd, mostly gals, enjoyed us and some danced with their girlfriends while the guys hung back and drank...which of course was fine.
Doesn't hold a candle to some of the stories here, though.
I've played some duds but my stories aren't even worth contributing next to what's here! I'm between bands at the moment having just moved 300 miles from home, and this thread is making me never want to gig again!
I had a weird one, but it was post-gig.
In the 80s, I played with a band that had rehearsal space in a bad section of town.
How bad you might ask?
We used to take bets on how far the drug dealers would get while being chased.
It was above a bakery in an area that was an unfinished recording studio.
So, there we were unloading gear at 3am, dog tired.
Some dude came staggering up the street.
Nothing unusual there, until he fell into my open truck bleeding profusely.
He'd gotten knifed a couple times.
I grabbed the drummer and the lighting tech, and had 'em follow me to the hospital, fortunately only a couple blocks away.
Got to the P-lot, and saw a couple security guys on their way over.
Dumped the guy out and we left before being asked a lot of unexplainable questions.
"Yeah sure he was already bleeding and happened to fall into your vehicle. ASSUME THE POSITION"
Had to drive home with blood all over the inside of my truck, nervous as hell.
A happy ending of sorts.
Couple weeks later, the same guy stopped by at the bakery to thank us for saving his life.
(Not too many white guys in a band in that area)
In the 80s, I played with a band that had rehearsal space in a bad section of town.
How bad you might ask?
We used to take bets on how far the drug dealers would get while being chased.
It was above a bakery in an area that was an unfinished recording studio.
So, there we were unloading gear at 3am, dog tired.
Some dude came staggering up the street.
Nothing unusual there, until he fell into my open truck bleeding profusely.
He'd gotten knifed a couple times.
I grabbed the drummer and the lighting tech, and had 'em follow me to the hospital, fortunately only a couple blocks away.
Got to the P-lot, and saw a couple security guys on their way over.
Dumped the guy out and we left before being asked a lot of unexplainable questions.
"Yeah sure he was already bleeding and happened to fall into your vehicle. ASSUME THE POSITION"
Had to drive home with blood all over the inside of my truck, nervous as hell.
A happy ending of sorts.
Couple weeks later, the same guy stopped by at the bakery to thank us for saving his life.
(Not too many white guys in a band in that area)
My band played a benefit gig for what we thought was an orphanage in an abandoned copper mine in Wales. It turned out that the orphanage was actually a kind of open prison for wayward 18 year old girls. So we're reaching the culmination of our set and a huge open B from me causes a rockfall across the entrance and we're trapped for 2 days in this tunnel with a hundred crazy chicks and a colossal buffet dinner and tons of booze. Plus I broke a string.
Fat Steve
The poodle bites, the poodle chews it.
I think youre looking for the "Best Gigs" thread. Its down the hall, to the right.
after 39 years of gigging in south texas , yeah , i've got a few stories ...
how about the one where cops burst into the club ,
come up on stage and announce the club is closed due to an employee murder in the parking lot .
we never even got to soundcheck ...
... or , how about the one where halfway into our first set ,
an angry ex-girlfriend hits me on the head with an empty champagne bottle ,
causing much blood and requiring eight stitches .
... or how about the time a couple of angry drunk bitches took offence to the lyrics ,
come up on stage , screaming , kicking and clawing at the singer .
fun stuff . singer down , fighting for his life .
yeah , i've got more ... but i don't want to bore anyone .
how about the one where cops burst into the club ,
come up on stage and announce the club is closed due to an employee murder in the parking lot .
we never even got to soundcheck ...
... or , how about the one where halfway into our first set ,
an angry ex-girlfriend hits me on the head with an empty champagne bottle ,
causing much blood and requiring eight stitches .
... or how about the time a couple of angry drunk bitches took offence to the lyrics ,
come up on stage , screaming , kicking and clawing at the singer .
fun stuff . singer down , fighting for his life .
yeah , i've got more ... but i don't want to bore anyone .
awesome stories, folks
Singer in our 80's cover band (back in the 90's) could get us in to places we had no reason to be in. One was a big country bar/dancehall in Northern Va. Placed looked like a giant barn outside. Probably seated (stood) 1-2k people.
5 of us in the band.
We played to all of 2 people who promptly left after the 3rd song.
They didn't invite us back!
Singer in our 80's cover band (back in the 90's) could get us in to places we had no reason to be in. One was a big country bar/dancehall in Northern Va. Placed looked like a giant barn outside. Probably seated (stood) 1-2k people.
5 of us in the band.
We played to all of 2 people who promptly left after the 3rd song.
They didn't invite us back!
after 39 years of gigging in south texas , yeah , i've got a few stories ...
how about the one where cops burst into the club ,
come up on stage and announce the club is closed due to an employee murder in the parking lot .
we never even got to soundcheck ...
... or , how about the one where halfway into our first set ,
an angry ex-girlfriend hits me on the head with an empty champagne bottle ,
causing much blood and requiring eight stitches .
... or how about the time a couple of angry drunk bitches took offence to the lyrics ,
come up on stage , screaming , kicking and clawing at the singer .
fun stuff . singer down , fighting for his life .
yeah , i've got more ... but i don't want to bore anyone .
WE DEMAND MOAR!
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