You KNOW you are too drunk when......

[Thunderscreech]

When you realize that you are 30 minutes late for a job interview, and you show up wearing your buddys "healthy" gf's bra on the outside of your cloths, and try to convince them that you are a progressive thinker with sales and people skills regardless of the afore mentioned...I'm still not allowed in K'mart.

That is a truly epic story.

I would also like to add: when you snort Gold Bond Medicated Powder and True Lemon mixed together.

 

[Vic Winters]

-When you manage to lose your keys that are clipped to your belt loop.
-When you wake up in your friend's bath tub.

 

[doctorjazz]

When you're playing drunk Rock Band, it's your turn on drums, and you have to climb to get into the chair.

When, during that same session, you're doing vocals and at the end of the song you say "Thank you, good night!" and promptly pass out for a few minutes.

Amazingly, a couple hours later that night I somehow made it home unaccompanied... on a skateboard.

 

[Joe Gress]

oh this is my territory.

When you are attempting to fly off a second story balcony holding a rubber rain poncho in a hurricane?

When you ate a goldfish for stealing your beer that you poured in its tank?

When you claim you are wearing a woman's tube top only becasue "you are an innocent victim of circumstance'?

When you pee straight up in the air (think about it) and then stare up at the stars wondering when it started raining?

When you staple a cheez it to your buddies neck?

When you are doing a puppet show with two bass' heads stuck on your fingers to the tune of PAwn shop by Sublime?

When you yank the exhaust out your buddies truck so it will make it through the big block pit on street tires?

When you burn your buddies recliner in his driveway?

When you bury your truck in a snowbank because you thought you could jump it but your eyes were misty from listening to patsy cline and you missed the jump point?

When you throw up straight in the air while laying in a truck bed boucnign down a logging trail because you were trying ot fart through the slider?

When you attempt to eat the rabbit you hit with your buddies volkswagen at 90 mph an hour ago?

When you have to shave your nuts with a disposable bic razor for losing a bet over oreos.

I too have video. tons of it.

how about

when the bartender asks if he should call you a cab you ask if oyu should call his mother a whore?

you are found naked under the neighbors subaru with your military ID locked in the car on the drivers seat

when you fake a car crash to get a hot chick to come pick you up only to narrowly exacpe a dui later when you get caught returning for the smokes you left in the car

when you try to use a fire extinguisher as a jetpack in the barracks laundry room

when you drunk dial your father at 2 in the morning to ask him who was the 4th member of the ratback..and still lose the bet

when you piss in your girlfriend's roomates boots and tell her you spilled a beer in it (they were like moccassins and it soaked into the suede and wool. She still wears em)

And the ultimate you are too drunk when:
when you get married and have a kid and stop doing all that stuff.

drunk sledding! Always bad for the nads.

We cut a toyota celica hood in half with a plasma cutter and attached it to the bumper with a tow rope and dragged it down the road with up to three people on it. car sledding is even worse for the nads, espescially when you unhook the hood and just grab the rope.

it snows a lot in Maine, this stuff is very easy BTW

I dunno bout you guys, but this thread has me rolling. Except, I really wonder how lousybassplayer is still alive.

 

[lousybassplayer]

So does he and his family.

 

[Joe Gress]

 

[Georynn]

Hows this... I drank so much at a hotel party once, that I woke up . in a different hotel... In a different city... in a different state... ( (Memphis,TN to New Orleans, LA... BTW) with my car outside... two other people were in the hotel with me... but I don't remember them being at the party... :scowl:

 

[Phalex]

When you discover, much to your bands chagrin, that ironically, you are too drunk to play too drunk to ****.

 

[JQ1986]

-You can't figure out how to get your car out of park.
-Fall Out Boy sounds good.

But the best one....I saw a guy making out with his mom at a bar. It was by far one of the most disturbing things I have seen in my life.:scowl:

 

[Phalex]

But the best one....I saw a guy making out with his mom at a bar. It was by far one of the most disturbing things I have seen in my life.:scowl:

You do some crazy stuff when you get all liquored up on the Campari!

 

[MatticusMania]

But the best one....I saw a guy making out with his mom at a bar. It was by far one of the most disturbing things I have seen in my life.:scowl:

Maybe theyre just into that sort of thing, and would have done so even if they were sober?

 

[dave64o]

I've been drunk enough to do this many times when I was younger, but thankfully I didn't do this one. But I had a lot of fun watching it unfold.

A friend of a friend owned a condo in Hilton Head Island and a group of eight of us were on a golf trip. The morning we were supposed to leave one guy was still completely drunk from the night before and would not wake up to clean the condo and to pack. When he finally got up, he went to the bathroom, saw someone was already in it, walked back into his bedroom, opened a dresser drawer, and started to pee in it. ON HIS OWN CLOTHES!

The guy who owned the condo started screaming at him and said "IN THE CAN! IN THE CAN!". He meant bathroom but the guy was too drunk to realize that, so attempting to please his screaming friend he took a few steps sideways and finished peeing - into the trash can - and then got back into bed.

The owner kept screaming at him, we were laughing hysterically, but the guy wouldn't get up. So the owner opened the guy's suitcase, removed the drawer, and just dumped the wet clothes in the suitcase and closed it up. We couldn't stop laughing, but we at least helped the owner clean the place up while we were laughing.

That was the last year that guy got invited on this trip.


Dave O.

 

[Ziltoid]

You never know when you are to drunk, you realize it the next morning

 

[6jase5]

I have discovered TB's lowest common denominators. Sad or funny, can't tell which yet.

 

[lousybassplayer]

Oh look at you, up on your high wagon. We aren't drunks, we just have crappy balance and keep falling off.