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Your got-to gauge, and why?

You know, I've been wrestling with this lately because for years I"ve used medium gauge (typically GHS Boomer rounds on some basses, flats on others). Lately, though, due to a change of the type of music I've been playing, I'm wanting to try heavy gauge strings, so that my G is not so "twangy". I'd like it to have a deeper, heavier sound that I can't seem to get simply through adjusting my eq.

I'm also wanting to change to heavy gauge on my 8 string bass, with heavier octave strings as well, for the same reason.

What I don't want, however, is my E an A string to feel too big, unruly and/or uncomfortable. I have a concern (fear?) that they may feel too thick.

What I may end up doing is simply putting a heavier gauge G string on my basses while keeping medium gauge for all the others.

To answer your second question, I use the same gauge for rounds and flats.
 
custom gauge set. 115, 90, 65, 45
for me its the most balanced set there can be. i like a tight E string, no loose floppy crap for me. even with the 115 im only tuned down a half step, and occasionally drop D
 
I've figured out that it depends largely on the strings in question, but there's no definitive gauge for me. I like TI's which are very light and I like Labella DTF 45-105 which are not. Rounds are a little different and I'll usually go for a 45-100, but that isn't set in stone either. Pretty much any string I can set up with low action and very little buzzing on my P bass is the "right" string. Currently that's a 45-105 set of Labella Deep Talkin.
 
You know, I've been wrestling with this lately because for years I"ve used medium gauge (typically GHS Boomer rounds on some basses, flats on others). Lately, though, due to a change of the type of music I've been playing, I'm wanting to try heavy gauge strings, so that my G is not so "twangy". I'd like it to have a deeper, heavier sound that I can't seem to get simply through adjusting my eq.

I'm also wanting to change to heavy gauge on my 8 string bass, with heavier octave strings as well, for the same reason.

What I don't want, however, is my E an A string to feel too big, unruly and/or uncomfortable. I have a concern (fear?) that they may feel too thick.

What I may end up doing is simply putting a heavier gauge G string on my basses while keeping medium gauge for all the others.

To answer your second question, I use the same gauge for rounds and flats.

In my experience heavier strings are twangier
 
........and a brand also. I have tried them all, but I keep coming back to D'Addario XL Nickel Mediums. I have bought and played much more expensive strings. I even have a deal with one company that allows me to get strings MUCH cheaper than I can get these. (Kind of a partial endorsement I guess?) But as soon as a put a set of something else on my basses I can't wait to get some XL Nickels back on it. I can live with regular lights, but prefer the mediums. (Full disclosure:I'm a bit heavy-handed)
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I never calculated the perfect set. I tend to average around 90 for a 4 string, having used 85 and 95. Prefer SS rounds. I find the thinner strings easier to play and easier on necks. I really got into them after I bought my first 8 string. It came strung with the cables you see holding up bridges, and the neck looked like you could actually shoot arrows with it. After that, I got used to them. Thick strings feel clumsy and hard to work with.

I do make an exception for my 5 string, I downtune and use the thickest strings I can find that will fit. With the lower tension they are manageable and as a bonus provide some nice string rattle.