Any other college grads here get the family "push for success" in this economy?

My family loves nothing more than control, it eventually got to the point that I avoid all of them except my father, who lets me do whatever I want without protest. Their constant hesitation that I finish school is nothing more than annoying

Then again, they may have a point. If you have better credentials than the next guy then don't you stand a better chance if you both interview for the same job?

I don't know your situation or anything about your relationship with your family, but asking yourself a few questions might provide some clarity.

What are my parent's motivations? Are they trying to control me, or help me? Or do they just want me to move out of their basement?

What do they have to gain if I follow their advice and succeed? Smug satisfaction? Another bill for tuition? Pride at seeing you try and succeed? An empty basement?

What do they have to lose if I follow their advice and fail? Money, time, an occupied basement, stress, guilt?

If you do it your way and succeed the results are much the same. If you do it your way and fail, the results are much the same.

It took me a while to find my way after graduation. I spent over a year tending bar/waiting tables. I spent another few years in corporate jobs with decent pay that I absolutely hated. Finally, I stumbled ass-backwards into doing something I like. My family aggravated the hell out of me through most of it so I can sympathize with your plight. However, in retrospect I realize they were just trying to help. They love me and when they saw me struggling they offered a suggestion based on their (more extensive) life's experience.

Try to keep an open mind. Just sayin'

The certifications toward health care (tech) jobs with very good starting pay are usually 2-3 year programs.

What certifications might be shorter in duration? EMT-B training of 3-5 months. This is considered a stressful job by many since lives (or negligence) may hang in the balance.

Anyone else want to chime in?

Question 1: What is your degree in?

Question 2: Was your brief tenure at the three companies due to the economy or you?

scorpionldr said:

Its amazing these days. So far its been over a year and a half since I've escaped from college with my degree. Three jobs hired into, lasting about 3-4 months each, all I've gotten dropped from.

So lately I've been going around to the local unemployment office to see what programs are offered to help people find "new careers". I've also spent the last 3 weeks breaking my back helping my dad empty out his office, seeing as he's retiring.

I love hearing from my family "so, wanna look at new programs for certifications offered at the county college?"
me: "SURE, WE CAN JUST THROW A FEW MORE THOUSAND IN THE BUCKET!"
family: "well, that isn't a positive approach."
me: "well, I'm still unemployed, aren't I? I just got a degree that hasn't helped me any."
Family: "oh......maybe a new certification will still help you!"

and so on it goes. Of course in a more grizzly conducted manner, but its seeming like a downward spiral lately.

Anyone else find they have to get near the point of beating off their family with a stick just to get some time to THINK?

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Don't like their nagging?

Get your adult butt out of their house.

beating off my family sounds rather disturbing.


but yes, even my wife, everything that someone else has a job doing or gets a new job doing, or is on tv doing, is something i could be doing instead of what i've been doing (unemployed now) for the last 12 years.

"maybe you could go back to school and get another degree"
"you're good with computers, why don't you work for the fbi?"
on
and
on
and
on
and
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnn

You have a degree and that you say isn't helping much, ever think that could be in part because so many people have degree's these days?

You need something to help you stand out, because "having a degree" is what everyone else already does, so it becomes common place, standard. You need to have something more.

Tho, on saying that, if you have actually had 3 jobs, all of which have let you go after 3-4 months. I'd say the problem isn't the degree, but something about you.

What's your degree in and are you trying to work in a related field?

It's really just the market more than anything. I applied for about 30 jobs back in April just for some seasonal work during between semesters and I only managed to get 6 call backs, 2 interviews, and 1 second interview. I've got a great GPA, a great work history, a nice track record doing volunteer work in the community, and a lot of other "nice" things that make me standout in comparison to your average 20 year old on paper. Like I said, it's really the market more than anything.

My advice - if it's worth anything to you - is to keep applying for work, make follow ups, and do whatever you can to stand out. Don't be afraid to go back to school either in the meantime to obtain another skill set that will make you more valuable as an employee. Also don't be afraid to tell someone looking to hire you that you plan on furthering your education because they often like that sort of thing and may even help pay for it.

i_got_a_mohawk said:

Tho, on saying that, if you have actually had 3 jobs, all of which have let you go after 3-4 months. I'd say the problem isn't the degree, but something about you.

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Could be that as well.

You could always join the military!

scorpionldr said:

Its amazing these days. So far its been over a year and a half since I've escaped from college with my degree. Three jobs hired into, lasting about 3-4 months each, all I've gotten dropped from.

So lately I've been going around to the local unemployment office to see what programs are offered to help people find "new careers". I've also spent the last 3 weeks breaking my back helping my dad empty out his office, seeing as he's retiring.

I love hearing from my family "so, wanna look at new programs for certifications offered at the county college?"
me: "SURE, WE CAN JUST THROW A FEW MORE THOUSAND IN THE BUCKET!"
family: "well, that isn't a positive approach."
me: "well, I'm still unemployed, aren't I? I just got a degree that hasn't helped me any."
Family: "oh......maybe a new certification will still help you!"

and so on it goes. Of course in a more grizzly conducted manner, but its seeming like a downward spiral lately.

Anyone else find they have to get near the point of beating off their family with a stick just to get some time to THINK?

Click to expand...

I understand why you're frustrated, but don't fall into the trap of giving that negative attitude off during job interviews. I also wonder why your jobs lasted such a short period. Unless the firms you worked for all failed or had large-scale layoffs, you should seriously assess your own attitude to see if you contributed to the job losses.

I'm not assuming you have a bad attitude - but I am suggesting that it's a good idea for all of us to take stock from time to time and do our best to see how others perceive us and our attitude. I am fortunate in that most of my bosses have been willing to tell me when I'm getting off-track. It has helped me to do better and succeed more often.

About the suggestions from your family - I'm in continuing education, and I can assure you there is a stampede of people with more qualifications than you have coming back to school for more certifications, more degrees, more of ANYTHING that will help them appear to be better qualified than the other person.

Are you more qualified than the people you're competing against? If not, you need to ask yourself: What are you going to do to become better qualified?

Throwing a few thousand more in the bucket might well be worthwhile.

scorpionldr said:

Anyone else find they have to get near the point of beating off their family

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Its never gotten to that point...

My girlfriend dropped out of college not long before getting her degree. She didnt feel like school was taking her in the direction she wanted to go in life. She was going to school for psychology, and came to the realization that the jobs she could get werent all that great, and that she was already making more money than she would after getting her degree. Her parents still get on her case about not finishing school, but the reality is that she's now doing something she loves (playing music for kids and teaching piano) and she's making more than enough to support herself.

standupright said:

beating off my family sounds rather disturbing.


but yes, even my wife, everything that someone else has a job doing or gets a new job doing, or is on tv doing, is something i could be doing instead of what i've been doing (unemployed now) for the last 12 years.

"maybe you could go back to school and get another degree"
"you're good with computers, why don't you work for the fbi?"
on
and
on
and
on
and
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnn

Click to expand...

Thats her way of nicely saying 'GET A JOB DAMMIT!'

scorpionldr said:

Three jobs hired into, lasting about 3-4 months each, all I've gotten dropped from.

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Do you get the "it's not you it's me" speech a lot?

scorpionldr said:

beating off their family with a stick

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I just wanted to quote this again. I know someone else did. It's still funny.



Anyhow, on to your question. In which field is your degree? Anything you can do to set yourself apart is an asset. I began my current job as an intern while still in college, and the internship started through connections made at a prior internship. I was hired full time when I finished my BS, given a raise/promotion when I finished my MS. Having the prior experience got me the position in the first place, and got me hired full time instead of them just hiring some other schmuck because I had a good rapport with my fellow employees.

My wife who also has a BS in the same field has a less fruitful and (IMO) much more stressful job with a small research lab because she didn't have much setting her apart from the other thousands of college grads with biology degrees that year. She's now at a point where she has experience, but most of the jobs she's looking at want to have someone with a specific certification (sound familiar?). Most of them are willing to hire without and train the candidate to obtain said certification, but it certainly would help if she already had the darn thing.

scorpionldr said:

If I'm currently waiting to be placed into a program to help me FIND a career I'm successful at, whats the purpose of going on a mad dash for a job that I won't want to be at (especially if its going to be short time)?

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The point is supporting yourself and not being dependent on others.

I'd be working three shifts at McDonalds while looking for a new job before you caught me dead living with my parents.

aborgman said:

The point is supporting yourself and not being dependent on others.

I'd be working three shifts at McDonalds while looking for a new job before you caught me dead living with my parents.

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Link Removed

scorpionldr said:

They're trying to drill into mine. My views are "ok, I've done everything I can do right now, with bills, Kohl's isn't going to be the answer, I'm doing what I can, leave me alone. I've taken all your advice thus far, and I've ended up nowhere, I've been working on my own projects (which would ADVANCE if you followed the 'leave me alone') and for the time being the thing to do is WAIT".

If I'm currently waiting to be placed into a program to help me FIND a career I'm successful at, whats the purpose of going on a mad dash for a job that I won't want to be at (especially if its going to be short time)?

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Get a job and then look for your dream career while working at that job.

Also, the fact you've been in and out of 3 jobs in a year or so is going to look bad on your CV.