- Mar 1, 2005
- 3,101
- 385
- 62
- Disclosures
- Endorsing Artist: Crook Custom Guitars
I'm not sure who wrote this, but it nails it!
[FONT=Comic Sans MS, cursive, Helvetica, sans-serif]Dear Band Leader:
[/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS, cursive, Helvetica, sans-serif][/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS, cursive, Helvetica, sans-serif]My wife and I look forward to you providing music at our daughter's
wedding. We have a list of songs we would like you to play.
Don't worry if you don't know all of them.
Any Chick Corea composition would be great, but we would especially like
you to play "The Three Quartets, No.1) as the guests walk in. For the bride's [/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS, cursive, Helvetica, sans-serif]mother, please go right into the piano intro to "Quartet No. 2." Keep playing it [/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS, cursive, Helvetica, sans-serif]till she gets up to the altar. Also, have it arranged for the full ensemble.
Don't play any of the "Electric Band" songs. Make sure the drummer uses
"Evans" drum heads so his drums sound like Steve Gadd, our favorite
drummer.
Now, when I walk in, please play "Birdland" (but the version from "Live").
My wife and I were at that ! show, and we particularly like it. If you find
it too difficult, you can play "Sister Cherl" from "Tony Williams Live in
Tokyo."
Now, for the song in the middle of the Mass during the communion, we want
the singer to sing Allan Holdsworth's "Against the Clock" from his
"Wardenclyffe Tower" CD. We love this song and especially the drum solo
by Vinnie Colaiuta. We think that it's his greatest solo, although some will
argue against this. Keep repeating the drum solo till the priest tells you
to stop.
Any of John Coltrane's duets w/Pharaoh Sanders would be grand. I
understand that their use of atonality is not everyone's cup of tea, but all[/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS, cursive, Helvetica, sans-serif]of our guests LOVE high register tenor saxes.
We thought a little Stravinsky right after the toast would be nice. We
particularly like the "Infernal Dance. . ." or whatever it's called, from
the Rite of Spring (second version c. 1932). If you want to use the sheet
music, that's OK. We like a tempo of about not = 93 (Ozawa). Faster would
be cool, too, but don't play it too slow. That would ruin it.
Next, for the "life candle" lighting ceremony, please play Frank Zappa's
"The Black Page." If you want to play it in the original key of Bb minor,
that would be fine, but my cousin Janeen would like to sing it, so you
may have to play that part in another key (she majored in voice at UCLA).
During the cocktail hour, we want some nice Keith Jarrett tunes from his
"Standard Vol. 1 and 2" And, feel free to take things out as far as you like.
When my daughter throws the garter, could you play just a little of
"Varese's Ionization?" It's such a cool piece. We think it would go over[/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS, cursive, Helvetica, sans-serif]really well. It's much better than "The Stripper."
Now, for the bride and groom's first dance, please slow things down a bit
by doing Barber's "Adagio for Strings." It's so much better than "We've
Only Just Begun" or "The Anniversary Waltz." When my wife and I join in
the first dance, could you please segue to Thelonious Monk's "Ruby, My Dear?"
That's in honor of my wife's grandmother, whose name was Ruby. It would
mean so much to the family. Then, we would like to hear some nice Mexican
music while we eat dinner. We love the sound of Los Ponchos, so any of
their hits would be great.
Thanks very much for all your help. We'll certainly be happy to recommend
your band to all of our friends. We thought that $50.00 per man for 4
hours would be sufficient. So that's $350.00 for the entire group. If you get
our guests dancing, I will throw in an extra $50.00. So, get 'em dancing.
[/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS, cursive, Helvetica, sans-serif]We want you to be set up TWO HOURS before your start time @ 5:00 pm., and
do not be late. We don't want to see any cases, bags, coats, boxes, cables,
wires, or any unnecessary clutter on the stage or within view of the guests. [/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS, cursive, Helvetica, sans-serif]Play 1 hour and then take a break of no more than 10 minutes, but don't forget [/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS, cursive, Helvetica, sans-serif]to leave the guitar player or the piano player playing while the rest of the band breaks.
Absolutely no drinking! In fact, we don't even want to see the musicians
near the bar or food tables. Also, NO TALK ING ON STAGE!! Go outside
quietly where no one can see you. Of course, no smoking anywhere. Someone
will be watching you on your breaks to make sure you don't consume any
alcohol. Before you leave, please feel free to ask the caterer for a
sandwich (or, a "bandwich" as you people call them). And, perhaps a soda
to take with you. Oh, and one more thing. . . .and this is very important.
[/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS, cursive, Helvetica, sans-serif]In between songs, we don't want to hear any musicians practicing "licks," or
running up and down high speed scales. Nothing sounds worse than hearing
musicians all "fooling around" at the same time. I believe you people like to call [/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS, cursive, Helvetica, sans-serif]it "noodling." or something like that. But, it is a terrible habit. It's very unprofessional. [/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS, cursive, Helvetica, sans-serif]You don't hear the members of the Berlin Philharmonic "noodling around" between [/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS, cursive, Helvetica, sans-serif]movements, right?
We look forward to hearing you play.
Sincerely,
The Bride's Parents[/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS, cursive, Helvetica, sans-serif]Dear Band Leader:
[/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS, cursive, Helvetica, sans-serif][/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS, cursive, Helvetica, sans-serif]My wife and I look forward to you providing music at our daughter's
wedding. We have a list of songs we would like you to play.
Don't worry if you don't know all of them.
Any Chick Corea composition would be great, but we would especially like
you to play "The Three Quartets, No.1) as the guests walk in. For the bride's [/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS, cursive, Helvetica, sans-serif]mother, please go right into the piano intro to "Quartet No. 2." Keep playing it [/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS, cursive, Helvetica, sans-serif]till she gets up to the altar. Also, have it arranged for the full ensemble.
Don't play any of the "Electric Band" songs. Make sure the drummer uses
"Evans" drum heads so his drums sound like Steve Gadd, our favorite
drummer.
Now, when I walk in, please play "Birdland" (but the version from "Live").
My wife and I were at that ! show, and we particularly like it. If you find
it too difficult, you can play "Sister Cherl" from "Tony Williams Live in
Tokyo."
Now, for the song in the middle of the Mass during the communion, we want
the singer to sing Allan Holdsworth's "Against the Clock" from his
"Wardenclyffe Tower" CD. We love this song and especially the drum solo
by Vinnie Colaiuta. We think that it's his greatest solo, although some will
argue against this. Keep repeating the drum solo till the priest tells you
to stop.
Any of John Coltrane's duets w/Pharaoh Sanders would be grand. I
understand that their use of atonality is not everyone's cup of tea, but all[/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS, cursive, Helvetica, sans-serif]of our guests LOVE high register tenor saxes.
We thought a little Stravinsky right after the toast would be nice. We
particularly like the "Infernal Dance. . ." or whatever it's called, from
the Rite of Spring (second version c. 1932). If you want to use the sheet
music, that's OK. We like a tempo of about not = 93 (Ozawa). Faster would
be cool, too, but don't play it too slow. That would ruin it.
Next, for the "life candle" lighting ceremony, please play Frank Zappa's
"The Black Page." If you want to play it in the original key of Bb minor,
that would be fine, but my cousin Janeen would like to sing it, so you
may have to play that part in another key (she majored in voice at UCLA).
During the cocktail hour, we want some nice Keith Jarrett tunes from his
"Standard Vol. 1 and 2" And, feel free to take things out as far as you like.
When my daughter throws the garter, could you play just a little of
"Varese's Ionization?" It's such a cool piece. We think it would go over[/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS, cursive, Helvetica, sans-serif]really well. It's much better than "The Stripper."
Now, for the bride and groom's first dance, please slow things down a bit
by doing Barber's "Adagio for Strings." It's so much better than "We've
Only Just Begun" or "The Anniversary Waltz." When my wife and I join in
the first dance, could you please segue to Thelonious Monk's "Ruby, My Dear?"
That's in honor of my wife's grandmother, whose name was Ruby. It would
mean so much to the family. Then, we would like to hear some nice Mexican
music while we eat dinner. We love the sound of Los Ponchos, so any of
their hits would be great.
Thanks very much for all your help. We'll certainly be happy to recommend
your band to all of our friends. We thought that $50.00 per man for 4
hours would be sufficient. So that's $350.00 for the entire group. If you get
our guests dancing, I will throw in an extra $50.00. So, get 'em dancing.
[/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS, cursive, Helvetica, sans-serif]We want you to be set up TWO HOURS before your start time @ 5:00 pm., and
do not be late. We don't want to see any cases, bags, coats, boxes, cables,
wires, or any unnecessary clutter on the stage or within view of the guests. [/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS, cursive, Helvetica, sans-serif]Play 1 hour and then take a break of no more than 10 minutes, but don't forget [/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS, cursive, Helvetica, sans-serif]to leave the guitar player or the piano player playing while the rest of the band breaks.
Absolutely no drinking! In fact, we don't even want to see the musicians
near the bar or food tables. Also, NO TALK ING ON STAGE!! Go outside
quietly where no one can see you. Of course, no smoking anywhere. Someone
will be watching you on your breaks to make sure you don't consume any
alcohol. Before you leave, please feel free to ask the caterer for a
sandwich (or, a "bandwich" as you people call them). And, perhaps a soda
to take with you. Oh, and one more thing. . . .and this is very important.
[/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS, cursive, Helvetica, sans-serif]In between songs, we don't want to hear any musicians practicing "licks," or
running up and down high speed scales. Nothing sounds worse than hearing
musicians all "fooling around" at the same time. I believe you people like to call [/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS, cursive, Helvetica, sans-serif]it "noodling." or something like that. But, it is a terrible habit. It's very unprofessional. [/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS, cursive, Helvetica, sans-serif]You don't hear the members of the Berlin Philharmonic "noodling around" between [/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS, cursive, Helvetica, sans-serif]movements, right?
We look forward to hearing you play.
Sincerely,
The Bride's Parents[/FONT]
Or you might trade it for the soda, or the sandwich.
