As a bandleader and audio engineer, I say take it slow. I see too many people who rush out and buy a bunch of pricey equipment and then have no idea how to use it. The more full-featured and "pro" your system is, the more complex it will be. If you are new to running sound (and playing at the same time) then take it easy. Since these systems are all modular you can grow them as your knowledge evolves.
Buy a beginner system. There is no shame in starting with something basic. I guarantee the audience won't know or care. It sounds like you can get away with a simple 8-12 channel mixer, 2 powered 12" PA speakers and 2 powered 8" or 10" powered speakers as monitors/backups. You don't need a sub to get started. Buy used and you can probably get everything you need for under $1,500. Look for big brand names like Mackie, Alto, Yamaha or QSC. Save extra money for cases, cables and all the things you didn't know you needed like party lights, gaffe tape and cable ties.
A system like that will cover any kind of party, wedding or bar gig where you need to bring your own PA. 99% of those situations don't want overpowering volume all the way in the back of the room, so why bring extra firepower that will only get you in trouble. If you absolutely need more volume for a really large outdoor gig, you now own a modular system so it will be easy to borrow/rent a couple extra speakers for the night.