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Age Difference, Unfamiliar Territory

stambroker

stambroker

Aug 12, 2011
1,705
1,927
Miami
#1
Hey there TBers,

I was just recently invited to join an "indie rock" band in my area (they cite Dinosaur Jr. and Sonic Youth as influences but they sound more like Portishead to me), and it looks promising. They have a female singer, synth, an excellent guitarist/drummer (as in, noticably awesome in the recordings), and I have been impressed by the live rehearsal music they sent me. It's still rhythmic and danceable, but it's much more melodic/softer than what I'm used to. I'm more than likely going to try and join up with them, so this isn't a "should i join?" post.

But, I have a few questions and hopefully you guys can help me out. First off, I'm 20, and in college. They're in the 29-30 range. Doesn't entirely bug me (but then again I haven't met them in person) but all the previous acts/bands I've played with have been my age and generation. Any horror stories/tips you can give? I have a job and consider myself pretty responsible for the stereotypical college student, so I don't think I'll clash with them on scheduling... I'm mostly just concerned about the availability of gigs until I turn 21 (bars, alcohol, etc.)

Also, while I really, really enjoy the bands' sound, and Portishead is one of my favorite bands to relax to, I have little to no experience actually playing it. My first band was a blues-rock band; the next was a noise-rock band, and the next was a dance-punk act. I've never played with a keyboard in a band environment (I have jammed with them, though), so I'm sure that'll take getting used to. The female singer part is actually pretty cool to me; she has a fantastic voice.

So, if anyone has experience with this situation I'd love to hear advice or reassurances. I'm really excited, and personally I'm going to suggest we do Starless by King Crimson if I do join... the band sounds perfect for it. Sorry for the long post, thanks guys!
 
#2
I was the youngest guy in the band for the first 12 or 15 years of my gigging life. Enjoy this phase. In another 20 years or so, you may very well find yourself on the other side of the spectrum.
 
#3
It's a question of seriousness and approach more than age. If everybody agrees on the direction of the band, as far as its musical aspirations and the amount of energy that should be devoted to it, the age thing goes away.
 
#6
Phalex said:
I was the youngest guy in the band for the first 12 or 15 years of my gigging life. Enjoy this phase. In another 20 years or so, you may very well find yourself on the other side of the spectrum.
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Yup - been there at both ends of the range. I enjoyed learning from older more experienced guys when I started out and I enjoy gigging with enthusiastic young 'uns these days. It's always very cool to see collaboration between different generations of musicians, imo. And the pooled influences from different musical periods can often generate some interesting ideas.
 
#9
Edward G. said:
It's a question of seriousness and approach more than age. If everybody agrees on the direction of the band, as far as its musical aspirations and the amount of energy that should be devoted to it, the age thing goes away.
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Yup. I'm currently in a weekend warrior cover band with 5 members each representing one age decade (20s, 30s, 40s, 50s and 60s). We stay very busy, make good money and have a great time. The age thing has really never been an issue.
 
#10
My band consists of myself, age 42, my guitarist, age 40, and drummer age 60.

I grew up in Colorado, the guitarist in New Orleans, and the drummer has never until this last month or two lived outside of a square mile or two of a particular South End Louisville, KY neighborhood.

We get along great. I love my drummer's style because it is not as mechanical as drummers of my generation, and also because man, the dude has been playing since the mid-1960's. He STILL HAS his 1964 Ludwig kit, Ringo Starr-style, and what's even more of a gobsmack is he's never had to change the heads. He's just very careful with everything he owns. I've played with him for 12 years now, and we most definitely have the sought-after rhythm section telepathy. So when he and I are in the groove, we just go whereever it takes us.

Anyway, big age differences are not a problem. Older musicians of course have more experience, are less likely to act like prima donnas (most of the time!) and finally I have observed that good players are like fine wine: they just get better with age.

And in case you can't tell, I love my band and I'm an unabashed fan of them (meaning the other two guys). It's a really nice mix of personalities, and our #1 rule is if we aren't having fun we don't do it.

Edited to add: My other experience in this kind of band was also very enjoyable: it was myself at age 21-23, the bandleader who was 9 years older than me, and the drummer who was about 6 years older than me. We all had very different backgrounds (I was the only non-hispanic in the band) and we made some badass music. And I learned gobs of stuff from the bandleader, and even though he's in CO and I'm in IN, we still keep in touch and we still exchange musical ideas. I guested on a recording of his about 10 years ago, and it's about time for me to do it again.
 
#11
When I was 19 I was in a group with guys and girls who were old enough to be my parents. It was an incredible learning experience and one that really opened up my outlook on music, how bands *should* function, my abilities as a bassist, and what is really needed to be a valuable musician in a band. Take advantage of this opportunity. It's a good one to have :)
 
#12
Age is the factor that ever got in the way of bands that I know of or have been in. It's always been lifestyle choices and morals. Do the older guy/gals have jobs, spouses, kids, mortgages, dependency issues? If you're a young single guy ready to sow your oats so to speak. It can be akward if the rest of the band is happily married with kids. If you like a few beers but they prefer meth. I'm over 40 and like playing music that is heavier than most people my age tend to like. So I end up playing with people younger. No issues as long as we're on the same page with music and lifes responsibilities.
 
#13
alecduncan said:
It's still rhythmic and danceable, but it's much more melodic/softer than what I'm used to.
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alecduncan said:
My first band was a blues-rock band; the next was a noise-rock band, and the next was a dance-punk act. I've never played with a keyboard in a band environment (I have jammed with them, though), so I'm sure that'll take getting used to.
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On the basis of your descriptions and characterizations alone, I would surmise that these cats have a more nuanced, sophisticated sound than you've ever experienced before. It's not at all uncommon. Most people - musicians in particular I would think - will quite naturally mature in their musical tastes as they themselves mature.

The main issue here, it seems to me, is: "Are you prepared to take your musicianship to the next level - now rather than 10 years from now?" Ponder on that... :hmm:

Also, if you haven't done so already, read and thoroughly digest the sticky thread in this forum about working with keyboard players.

Sounds like a cool band. Hope you're up for it...

MM
 
#16
Age is just a number. There may be differences of things out there between those ten years but it is not that bad. Consider yourself a late 20 year old and them a young 29 and its only like 8-9 years difference.

I have friends who are young and older. As long as you can communicate on a humanistic fashion and be able to understand each other, than all is fine.
 
#17
Got a dude who has more than 10 years on me in our cover band and we are great friends. We love watching old TV shows like the 3 Stooges, Benny Hill, both of us love Black Sabbath and so on. We get a long great and I have learned a lot. The rest of the band is my age, but much more socially adapted. I was a little afraid to get out in the real world....my band mates helped me out a lot with that. Now I am a social butterfly.
 
#18
When we 'let our keyboard player go' a few years ago we were hoping to get the guy who subbed for him in to replace him.

We were all in our 50's, he was 21 and he would have joined us had he not been accepted into the Army Music Corps playing clarinet.

He was a great kid, played drums better than our drummer and guitar so it kept our drummer and guitarist on their toes. The best boogie-woogie piano player and all round keyboard player I have played with, mature well beyond his years.

He fitted in really, better than our outgoing keyboard player who was our age. He had subbed in his dads band quite a bit so was used to playing with old gits.
 

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