Am I taking this too seriously?

[joe-in-the-warehouse]

This is all great advise, guys. I'd like to thank all of you. I think I've formulated a plan:

1) Establish that we need to agree on set song structures (accomplished).

2) Sit down and instruct meter by using the piece of her written material that she is most comfortable with. Once it's understood I'll allow her to decide on the amount of measures per part.

3) Rehearse to solidify the structured form of the song as habit.

4) Record parts separately, having her record first. Once this is done I'll be happy to share them here (though I can't say how long this may take).

5) Continue this process for the other existing potential-songs.

She's a fun person to be around and I am interested in her musical ideas, so I feel that the project may be worth the effort if this plan isn't met with resistance.

If for no other reason to stick around, I am gaining experience in working with others in a genre that I don't usually play, so there's value in that.

Does this seem like a sound plan, or does this seem that it would be carried out badly?

 

[natw42]

Sounds good to me. Good luck, and please report back.

 

[Robroy]

She must be cute, because if I were single that is the only way I'd still be there after the first meeting.

Ask yourself this: if this was a guy, would you still be working with him?

 

[xgator4u]

This is all great advise, guys. I'd like to thank all of you. I think I've formulated a plan:

1) Establish that we need to agree on set song structures (accomplished).

2) Sit down and instruct meter by using the piece of her written material that she is most comfortable with. Once it's understood I'll allow her to decide on the amount of measures per part.

3) Rehearse to solidify the structured form of the song as habit.

4) Record parts separately, having her record first. Once this is done I'll be happy to share them here (though I can't say how long this may take).

5) Continue this process for the other existing potential-songs.

She's a fun person to be around and I am interested in her musical ideas, so I feel that the project may be worth the effort if this plan isn't met with resistance.

If for no other reason to stick around, I am gaining experience in working with others in a genre that I don't usually play, so there's value in that.

Does this seem like a sound plan, or does this seem that it would be carried out badly?

Good plan.
#4 is crucial.
Let her "free spirit" it, but once it's on tape...That's it.
Then the rest of you can get together and work out your parts, no meter and all.
Then mix it, and viola.

Live, hmmm, good luck.

WE STILL NEED a picture of this "free spirit", she has got to be a hottie, cause like ROB stated, you wouldn't even be considering this if not.

 

[ArtechnikA]

...she has got to be a hottie, cause like ROB stated, you wouldn't even be considering this if not.

Maybe so, maybe no.
I'm still waiting for an answer on the money...
I can put up with a lot if the money is right...

 

[Gaolee]

I played with a singer who had horrible intonation issues to start with. She could count, but otherwise, your description sounds familiar. We weren't very serious about playing or playing out for a while, but then she decided she wanted us to play for some kind of family event that her (huge and disfunctional) family was having. She was a different person in front of an audience. So, you never know what might happen. That band fizzled, but I'll probably end up forming some other band with her someday, and it will be the same - she's completely lousy and unfocused anywhere but on stage. On stage, she nails it. Go figure.

The difference is that the rest of the band could nail it down when the singer went off on some tangent. If you are trying to rein in an errant guitarist with minimal backup, good luck.

 

[Joe Nerve]

Ask yourself this: if this was a guy, would you still be working with him?

I was told a long time ago to ask that question about my girlfriend. If she were a guy, would I still be hanging with her? And certainly of my wife (or anyone I would consider marrying). I've dated lots of girls I'd have never hung out with if they were dudes. Not a chance. I wouldn't however, and didn't, marry any of those girls. My wife is awesome .

 

[Robroy]

I was told a long time ago to ask that question about my girlfriend. If she were a guy, would I still be hanging with her? And certainly of my wife (or anyone I would consider marrying). I've dated lots of girls I'd have never hung out with if they were dudes. Not a chance. I wouldn't however, and didn't, marry any of those girls. My wife is awesome .

Without getting too much in the weeds, I was married for 20 years and produced three great daughters. Then she didn't want to be married any more and shocked the hell out of all four of us. I was done with women - and then I met my current wife at my 25 year high school reunion. She came to town from over 2,000 miles away and had just been dumped by her husband and was done with men. That was 17 years ago and we’ve been in a marriage the likes of which I honestly thought was not possible.

When your wife is your best friend, and you both have a forever “crush” on each other, it’s really hard to describe to people like I was those first 20 years.

One comedic part was we actually lived part of that song, "I've got a brand new girlfriend". The flights to Burbank airport from Seattle on weekends were a real blast.

 

[Lobster11]

This is all great advise, guys. I'd like to thank all of you. I think I've formulated a plan:
....

Well, it's hard to judge this "plan" with any confidence based on the limited information I have. I don't know her, I don't know you, and I have no idea what this music sounds like. So I might be way off track here.

That said, I gotta say something doesn't sit quite right with me about all this. You answered an ad to work with her on her music. Now it sounds like have appointed yourself band leader/director, and have formulated a plan according to which you will dictate how things are gonna go from here. Part of that plan is to whip her into shape and teach her what you think she needs to know, to make the music the way you think it ought to be. Also, you mentioned previously that when you discussed this with her, she sounded less than enthusiastic (or something like that). My fear is that you're going to beat that free spirit out of her and turn her music into what you think it should be, rather than the music she wants to make.

That's all fine, IF in fact this is really what she needs, and IF she agrees that she needs it and is eager for your help and instruction. And of course I understand that no group of people can play effectively together if nobody knows when the next change is going to come; that problem certainly needs to be solved one way or another. But somehow your "plan" to come in and fix things seems, I dunno, kind of harsh or dictatorial.

Please understand that this is not meant to be critical of you, but rather just another point of view to consider.

 

[joe-in-the-warehouse]

Well, it's hard to judge this "plan" with any confidence based on the limited information I have. I don't know her, I don't know you, and I have no idea what this music sounds like. So I might be way off track here.

That said, I gotta say something doesn't sit quite right with me about all this. You answered an ad to work with her on her music. Now it sounds like have appointed yourself band leader/director, and have formulated a plan according to which you will dictate how things are gonna go from here. Part of that plan is to whip her into shape and teach her what you think she needs to know, to make the music the way you think it ought to be. Also, you mentioned previously that when you discussed this with her, she sounded less than enthusiastic (or something like that). My fear is that you're going to beat that free spirit out of her and turn her music into what you think it should be, rather than the music she wants to make.

That's all fine, IF in fact this is really what she needs, and IF she agrees that she needs it and is eager for your help and instruction. And of course I understand that no group of people can play effectively together if nobody knows when the next change is going to come; that problem certainly needs to be solved one way or another. But somehow your "plan" to come in and fix things seems, I dunno, kind of harsh or dictatorial.

Please understand that this is not meant to be critical of you, but rather just another point of view to consider.

This is definitely a concern of mine and I'm glad you raised it so we can analyze it as well.

I would never want to ruin music or the joy of making music for any individual. Shes agreed that she needs to understand the concepts we've been discussing here, so I'm going to assume she wants the instruction. (You know what happens when you assume...)

If she says she wants to learn but doesn't put the effort in or simply decides she rather leave the work in the form it is, I'll respectfully bow out of the project. It would be nothing personal; I just don't see a chance for it to work smoothly as is. I'd like for it to work, so I'll give this try and see what happens. If she starts to show frustration, that's my cue to accepting things as they are and move on.

 

[mellowinman]

Well, it's hard to judge this "plan" with any confidence based on the limited information I have. I don't know her, I don't know you, and I have no idea what this music sounds like. So I might be way off track here.

That said, I gotta say something doesn't sit quite right with me about all this. You answered an ad to work with her on her music. Now it sounds like have appointed yourself band leader/director, and have formulated a plan according to which you will dictate how things are gonna go from here. Part of that plan is to whip her into shape and teach her what you think she needs to know, to make the music the way you think it ought to be. Also, you mentioned previously that when you discussed this with her, she sounded less than enthusiastic (or something like that). My fear is that you're going to beat that free spirit out of her and turn her music into what you think it should be, rather than the music she wants to make.

That's all fine, IF in fact this is really what she needs, and IF she agrees that she needs it and is eager for your help and instruction. And of course I understand that no group of people can play effectively together if nobody knows when the next change is going to come; that problem certainly needs to be solved one way or another. But somehow your "plan" to come in and fix things seems, I dunno, kind of harsh or dictatorial.

Please understand that this is not meant to be critical of you, but rather just another point of view to consider.

If she's doing cowboy measures, and idiosyncracies all over the place, providing her structure will help get her some level of success. She sounds like a person who has talent, but lacks knowledge.

The OP can share his knowledge; teach her what he can, and see where it takes her. If she resists, he probably can't work with her.

I used to be her, in a sense, as a singer/songwriter. I was aghast when producers told me all my flaws, and felt hurt and insulted. Then, it slowly dawned on me how right they were, and how much better my music was with some structure.

The free spirit is fantastic, for coming up with lyrics, melodies, and ideas. But arrangement is better when it makes sense.

 

[N. Kentucky Bass]

Sounds like this guitarist wants the band to flow around her amorphous universe - to make her shine. Wouldn't be my bag but hope it works for you and doesn't turn into a disappointment. Frankly, crappy guitarists are a dime a dozen. And that's not even counting the good ones!