Thanks again, Adam. The Resonanzio is a great idea. I'm going to suggest that to the conductor. We have space considerations in our room that make it difficult to distance ourselves from the cellos. I read an interview with a retired bassist from the NY Phil who said that the main frustration of his career in the orchestra was that so often he couldn't hear himself. So(to myself) "shut up and get on with it". Thanks to everybody for your thoughts.
I think this is really the right approach for orchestral work.
As far as hearing oneself clearly when playing acoustically: In my experience it never happened in any ensemble larger than a small chamber orchestra...and being able to hear myself is the exact reason I used to prefer playing in chamber ensembles. But I had few opportunities to play in chamber groups and many more chances to play in large orchestras.
My early instructors taught me to attack the instrument in order to produce as much volume as possible. This was the style in the regional orchestra where I grew up. But the expectation to play without hearing oneself clearly is consistent with the training I received. As I am sure you know, one needs great intimacy with the instrument in order to play in tune without the benefit of hearing oneself.
My last instructor, who was the principal in a different regional orchestra, taught me a totally different style, so approach varies from region to region. His bass was very loud and had great projection, but it was setup with surprisingly low action and played very easily. We focused on refining my technique, good form, and playing with the minimal effort required to get a good sound. There was no emphasis on attacking the instrument to maximize volume. The focus was more on producing a beautiful and expressive sound, and refining playing ergonomics to support a long and healthy career.
Ultimately I doubt overplaying will provide enough extra volume to really make that much of a difference, so you just have to learn to control your instincts and play at the volume that is within the optimal range for your instrument. It gets easier with experience, but IMHO the first thing to do is start modifying your expectations.