And suddenly... two bassists?

[1958Bassman]

This gig is six weeks away.

The singer told me that the reason they don't want me to play in the gig was that I can't play the chords! I went to our next rehearsal to prove them wrong and played all the songs correctly. The singer said that she was impressed and told me I could join them to the gig.

But in the next morning, she sent me an e-mail and told me that our guitarist and drummer weren't satisfied and still wanted to have the old bassist. I felt confused, humiliated and furious. I played all the songs as well as simple-structured punk songs can be played, and they still think that I can't play?! I told them that I am thinking that there are some reasons, other that music-related, for them wanting to have the old bassist performing. They told me that I could still "join them to the other forthcoming gigs". What the...?

I guess they are thinking that because the gig is gonna be a big thing, they wan't the original bassist to have her share. But it just isn't fair for me. The old bassist did her choice to move abroad and leave the band. She can't just come back whenever she wants and take her position back. I have practiced a lot, bought my own bass despite the fact that I'm a student with low income etc.

Now they aren't talking about having two bassists anymore, but using two different bass players in different songs! And how is that going to look like? One bass player comes in, one bass player comes out... I've never seen a band that does something like that. It is not like having some other artist featuring or anything. It is pure ********!

Show up with another singer. When she asks why, tell her that you think this one should sing certain songs and the original one can sing the others.

Seriously, ask her why she wants to do this-if it's because the old bass player is having second thoughts about moving away, they should be honest with you.

 

[trowaclown]

In the simplest and crudest terms that I can muster:

You aren't a prostitute are you? So why're you letting them #### you around like that?

If your reason for staying is only because you're worried about finding another band, then please, just leave, and spend some time looking. You're obviously in much distress over this, and it's through no fault of yours AT ALL. If your band's going to be so unreasonable just because things suddenly got better and you got a big gig, then think of how much worse they're going to get should you get even better as a band. If they don't treasure you as a fellow bandmate and musician, then they don't deserve your talents and commitment.

 

[Marko 1]

Sorry folks… having read the OP’s posts, there’s no negotiating, no rationalizing, no explaining, no compromising, no strategy… at this point it would be like doing so to a brick wall.

These girls are spoiled, self-centered disrespectful immature little brats, and anything you say to them will have as much meaning to them as the barking of a dog, because that’s obviously all the respect they have for the OP.

People with that mentality will only appreciate something of value when it’s gone.

 

[Marko 1]

In the simplest and crudest terms that I can muster:

You aren't a prostitute are you? So why're you letting them #### you around like that?

If your reason for staying is only because you're worried about finding another band, then please, just leave, and spend some time looking. You're obviously in much distress over this, and it's through no fault of yours AT ALL. If your band's going to be so unreasonable just because things suddenly got better and you got a big gig, then think of how much worse they're going to get should you get even better as a band. If they don't treasure you as a fellow bandmate and musician, then they don't deserve your talents and commitment.

+1

 

[Audiophage]

It sounds like you're too good for them. Find a better band.

 

[Crockettnj]

They are pushing you out. They do not have the maturity to just tell you and be done with it.

Its rude, at the very least.

I love the advice of showing up with another singer. Seriously. Even better, bring 1 or 2 more bass players.

Honestly, this band is done. At least its not a marriage, right? and believe me, stuff like this happens there as well. Worse!

I got pushed out once, and I took it so poorly that I traded in all of my gear for pennies on the dollar. Literally gave it away. I regret that... either have fun with HOW you move on, or just move on, but dont take this too hard and dont do anything stupid.

If you want to, you'll land on your feet. TRUST me.

 

[pklima]

It's all over. Having some fun getting kicked out is tempting, but don't go so far that people in other bands you might want to join will hear the stories.

 

[Bredian]

You should have left this thing already.

The sooner you do it, the quicker you fix your situation.

Musically, I don't like what they're doing by controlling your lines - that makes it a bad fit already.

Band management wise, its also BS.

 

[nobodysfool]

My answer to them telling her what to play would be simple: "I don't tell you how to play your instrument, so you will NOT tell me how to play mine. I will play what I believe fits within the musical context. If you don't like it, that's not my problem, and you're not going to make it my problem."

As for the other bass player, ultimatum time. " Either nix the idea, or find yourself another bass player. I think you need me more than I need you. If that's not the case, we're done, here and now."

I was forced out of a band a few years ago. So, I showed up at their next gig and sat in the audience. People came up to ask me why I wasn't up on stage playing, and I told them "ask the guy playing bass, he's the one with the jealousy issues.". On break, the guys came to me and asked why I was there, and I told them it was so that everyone could see what pricks they were, and to be sure my side of the story was known. They weren't too comfortable with that, but what could they do? They lasted about another 3 weeks, while I went on to a working band, making more money that I was with those clowns.

 

[tbassist4]

It's just unprofessional of them and extremely childish. I went to music school for classical bass and have played electric for many years on top of that, so I come from a similar background. If one of my bands decided to jerk me around like that, I'd leave in a second. They'll be stuck with their crappy old bassist, and sorry to say, it seems like a band with those kind of dynamics will flop pretty soon anyways.

Do yourself a favor:
1. Give them the ultimatum. If they don't respond favorably, just get out now and save some face. You'll feel much better.
2. Advertise your skills locally (music school training, private lessons); new bands will be much more likely to pick up a bassist with your kind of training than anyone else.
3. Enjoy being in a new and better band that respects you. Don't settle for this crap!

 

[rolandm]

1) If you play supporting an artist, you play what you are told to play. When you play in a band, and your bass parts are an important part of the identity of the music, then you play it the way YOU want it played. I've been in bands where singers have told me not to play this, and not to play that, or that my tone should be this, or my tone should be that. It made me miserable. And it eventually nearly dissolved in a fist-fight when he decided to step over to my amp to craft the sound he wanted coming out of my amp. The reason he felt empowered to do this is because I let it get to that point. The reason they feel comfortable telling you not to play this part, or that part, is because you've let them. Long story short, take back your instrument. If they don't like it, then they can say so, you can go your ways, and they can re-install their old bass player, which sounds like it's in the works anyway, and leads me to point 2.

2) The old bass player wants back in, but wants back in on their terms. They want the cush gigs, and are apparently heavy enough with the other band members that they feel that would be fine with them, where as you aren't so they don't mind pushing you around. I'd suggest that you leave the band, and simply tell them that they don't have the chops to back up what they're wanting to do, and then go find someone who does.

3) Punk is not about simplicity. Kira Roessler, former bass player for Black Flag, gave an interview once where she said it pretty well. Punk is not about hard, aggressive, loud music. It's about going against the grain. Simply put, true punk isn't defined by Green Day or Blink 182. It's defined by being different. If they don't get that, they're not a punk band. And if they don't get that punk bass requires someone who actually knows their instrument, then they haven't listened to much real punk. I suggest you hand them some, tell them to study up, and then when they're all grown up, come and see you.

4) Gonna get a little biblical here, but there's an passage that says two oxen cannot go together if they are unequally yoked. Same with a band. If you're not all involved in going in the same direction, then you're not gonna get far. And seeing as they're playing silly games, making demands on you that doesn't fit with what makes you happy, and they find ways to make you feel inadequate at every turn, you don't need to be with them.

This band is poison. It'd be better to be woodshedding and looking than be with these guys playing a couple of songs here, and a couple of songs there, and having them constantly limit your musical growth through their own inabilities and insecurities.

 

[pudgychef]

My answer to them telling her what to play would be simple: "I don't tell you how to play your instrument, so you will NOT tell me how to play mine. I will play what I believe fits within the musical context. If you don't like it, that's not my problem, and you're not going to make it my problem."

As for the other bass player, ultimatum time. " Either nix the idea, or find yourself another bass player. I think you need me more than I need you. If that's not the case, we're done, here and now."

I was forced out of a band a few years ago. So, I showed up at their next gig and sat in the audience. People came up to ask me why I wasn't up on stage playing, and I told them "ask the guy playing bass, he's the one with the jealousy issues.". On break, the guys came to me and asked why I was there, and I told them it was so that everyone could see what pricks they were, and to be sure my side of the story was known. They weren't too comfortable with that, but what could they do? They lasted about another 3 weeks, while I went on to a working band, making more money that I was with those clowns.

in all honesty, from this story, it doesn't sound like the other guy was "the one with the jealousy issue" - getting forced out is a blow to the ego and if it isn't handled well it is classless - but so is making a big public display of it or stalking future gigs...

leaving is fine, do it with class - getting kicked out (of any kind of relationship) hurts - but still do it with class..

 

[Munjibunga]

If I were you, I'd quit. If they're not trying to push you out, that will create a problem for them - the "abroad" bassist will have to come back for every gig. I don't recommend issuing an ultimatum though. Just move on. They don't share your musical vision, and you're not having fun.

 

[Em_K]

They somehow seem to think that having the old bassist is "safer" than having me. But she started playing the bass when they started the band, c. 3-4 years ago. She hadn't played guitar or any other instrument before that. When moving abroad she sold her bass and I think that she hasn't been playing since. So they think that having her is safer than having me who practices almost every day? I don't even know which bass she is going to play in the gig, since I was without a bass for a little while when I first started and we had very hard time finding someone who would borrow me one. I don't know if they are assuming that we can share my bass. I will let that happen over my dead body. That would be the last humiliation: "Sure, take my place in the band, and oh, here's my bass, you can have that one as well if you like".

My biggest fear is that after leaving they will start spreading evil rumours about me. The circles are very small here. That is also one part of the finding-a new-band-problem. It is hard to find people who play and who don't already have a band. Most of the bands searching for new members are often metal bands, and that just isn't my style. Like, in my old home town, there were maybe 3-4 drummers who played in all of the more "serious" bands in the area. And that was a city with population over 100.000.

 

[Thor]

We won't have much time to practice with the old bassist, two evenings max. Our singer is absolutely confirmed that two basses will produce "a nice thick punk sound" but she doesn't have any experience of using two basses in the same band. She doesn't even play bass herself.

I find it very hard to negotiate with them, since their main arguments are "practicing two different bass lines is too complicated and a huge risk, just play the same notes simultaneously" and "two basses playing the same notes = nice raw punk sound".

How can I make them realise that havig two bassists isn't exactly a safe choice when the goal is to avoid all risks?

2 Bassists = Sonic Mud.

Don't bother. They want to have their cake and eat it too.

If there should be more happening on stage, it needs to happen without muddying up the bottom.

These people aren't musicians. They are people with instruments. Worrying about the root? The visuals of a gig 6 weeks away? What is this, the first gig ever? Either play the bass yourself, or don't play at all. Personally I think these people lack sufficient musical knowledge and confidence to put together a good show. An impromptu jam with 2 bassists can work, but a punk band for a gig?

They obviously can't make a decision of who they want, so they decide to make a stupid and unacceptable compromise.

Really? Sheesh!

 

[nobodysfool]

in all honesty, from this story, it doesn't sound like the other guy was "the one with the jealousy issue" - getting forced out is a blow to the ego and if it isn't handled well it is classless - but so is making a big public display of it or stalking future gigs...

leaving is fine, do it with class - getting kicked out (of any kind of relationship) hurts - but still do it with class..

The fact of the matter is, it WAS jealousy. I had worked with the guy before, and he has always been a spotlight hog, and still is. He thought I was trying to steal the spotlight from his "greatness", so he maneuvered things to squeeze me out, and lied to the other members, saying that I wasn't willing to share the spotlight with him and had quit. Completely untrue, that conversation attributed to me never happened. I went the one time just to make him sweat, which he did, I had my say, and walked out with my head held high, the record set straight for the other band members, and for those in the audience who wanted to know.

I'm in a much better band now, in fact the band I only dreamed of being in 20 years ago.

 

[nobodysfool]

They somehow seem to think that having the old bassist is "safer" than having me. But she started playing the bass when they started the band, c. 3-4 years ago. She hadn't played guitar or any other instrument before that. When moving abroad she sold her bass and I think that she hasn't been playing since. So they think that having her is safer than having me who practices almost every day? I don't even know which bass she is going to play in the gig, since I was without a bass for a little while when I first started and we had very hard time finding someone who would borrow me one. I don't know if they are assuming that we can share my bass. I will let that happen over my dead body. That would be the last humiliation: "Sure, take my place in the band, and oh, here's my bass, you can have that one as well if you like".

I wouldn't let her use my bass either.

My biggest fear is that after leaving they will start spreading evil rumours about me. The circles are very small here. That is also one part of the finding-a new-band-problem. It is hard to find people who play and who don't already have a band. Most of the bands searching for new members are often metal bands, and that just isn't my style. Like, in my old home town, there were maybe 3-4 drummers who played in all of the more "serious" bands in the area. And that was a city with population over 100.000.

The people who know you will know the score. Those who don't, you can't worry about. People who act like those do have probably pulled similar stuff on other people, and word does get around, both positive and negative. Maintain your integrity, and don't stoop to their level. Those who really want to know what happened will come to you, and you can set the record straight. Your integrity will outlast their lack of integrity. They will make fools of themselves on this gig, especially if you aren't there. And if I were you, I would definitely NOT be there. That way they cannot suck you into something you don't want to do or be a part of.


Your integrity is worth more than any gig.

 

[lbanks]

Leave.

 

[fmoore200]

I haven't read the entire thread, but I have to say that the title instantly reminded me of spinal tap on Saturday night live...

 

[Thrill-House]

I would just quit personally. Your band sounds like a bunch of... silly people. Giving ultimatums on what you can and cannot play is really a deal breaker in my book.