Ladies (all three of you) and gentlemen, I am posting this thread today to officially announce my candidacy for Moderator At Large of Off Topic.
I thought long and hard about this decision but, in the end, I decided that the public shame and discomfort my family will feel when all of me is exposed (figuratively) are far outweighed by my megalomania. Add to this my firm belief that I deserve an avatar and a user title for free, and you can see how this was an easy call. I’m that good. Once elected, I wouldn’t mind expunging my own record, either.
Many of you are probably wondering about my qualifications. Well I can tell you they are numerous, voluminous and more complicated than you could ever understand, but I’ll hit the highlights anyway:
- I went to college for a long time
- In October of 1998, I was voted employee of the Month at Dillard’s Department Stores
- Although blacklisted nationwide at the non-profit organization I quit in 2005, I have since received 2 “under the table” job offers from that same organization
- I was a Supporting Member from October of 2005 to October of 2006
- I had a beer with Tim Cole in January of 2006
- I served as the Special Activities Coordinator of the JimmyM Sucks Club
- While I can hardly take the credit, Big Font Day was celebrated on October 30th, 2007
- In December of 2007, I was awarded the Nobel Prize for Awesome.
- Do you own a blimp?
But, please, don’t take my word for it. Here’s what people are saying about Mike_v_s!!!
people who really value my contributions said:I admire your ability to be a hero in your own mind.
Go and polish your gun collection. Ignore for you.
Here's an idea, don't be an asshat in the first place!
I guess you must support the terrorists.
You are still ignored.
Just come on the internet and become an intenet tough guy. Just start making attempts at scathing sarcastic remarks and pretend you're wise, mature and tough. That's what Mike_v_s did and look how its worked out for him
**** you mike! You probably are a dumb **** redneck who spent all your fema money on your bass.
Well intended or not, just about everything I've seen you write is incredibly patronising. It's the whole "I'll take the moral high ground and use intelligent sounding cliches" idea. Nice.
This message is hidden because mike_v_s is on your ignore list.
You have received two infraction points for violating rule #10
You really do take immense pleasure out of winning petty arguments by quoting peoples' sentences back to them, don't you?
Damn, can't you just shut up and accept your chastisement with some kind of dignity?
Mike_V_S – you are the DOG**** of this site.
This would make a GREAT avatar. Remember me when you're casting your ballot.
Mike


