Any stupid shop attendant stories?

[Papa Dangerous]

After doing work in retail, especially in a music store... I have come to realize a few things. First, It is hard to know everything about the products you are purchasing. Perhaps I find it difficult because my department is keyboards... There is so damn much going on with those things!!! Each one is so different! The technology built in to them is similar to other keyboards (editing the effects, arp, layering, etc) but each board usually has a completely different way of altering those functions. So I do understand how a sales person may be clueless on something - However, when that is the case with me, I admit that I am unsure and will either jump on the internet and search the web while making small talk with the customer, or ask someone else who may have more knowledge... Opinions on something I do not know and trying to play it off is just bad service. I rather take the extra time, if the customer is willing to wait, to try and locate some type of answer for them.

Secondly I have not dealt with a sales person who does not know - I generally like to ask my friend my questions before hand because she worked in a music store for a while and I get my answer/opinion from her.... BUT I love it when customers have NO IDEA what they want.... Excuse me while I digress, although the rules are reversed between sales person and customer, I feel that the principle remains the same...

Doofy-Looking-Dude-Sipping-Large-McDonalds-Soda-With-Stupid-Face: "Hey.. What is that? (Point at the Dave Smith Mopho Rack).
Me: "That is a synth rack, you can hook it up to a keyboard VIA MIDI."
DLDSLMSWSF: "I want a machine that makes beats" (sips)
Me: "Do you want a machine that has preset RHYTHMS or are you more focused on making your own?"
DLDSLMSWSF: "Iono" (sip)
Me: (aggravated by his dumb face and the fact that there is a sign that says no food or drink beyond the ramp....) "Umm.... (proceeds to explain some products inlcuding MPC).
DLDSLMSWSF: "Oh... ummm... Can I see something like that works?" (referring to MPC).
Me: (Explains why I cannot show him how a MIDI product works without using a computer and DAW)
DLDSLMSWSF: (Sips) Oh... (Sips) What is the cheapest thing you got? (sips)
Me: (dies a little on the inside)


Eventually his wife/gf, who is not that bad looking (sort of resembled that chick from Napoleon Dynamite, I think Lawanda, that the other dude meets on the computer) walks over and starts talking. I basically went from showing this dude the Dr. 880/670 to the Akai XR20, to Native Instruments' The Machine (The fool would never have figured this one out) to the used Zoom RT 223 (The cheapest we had at 99.00).

He finally decided to take his final sip and tell me he was no longer interested in buying anything as I was writing up his Invoice. He stands there awkwardly staring at me as he sips his soda.... I had to initiate some type of goodbye speech in order to get him to leave.

Sorry for the rant... You just see some stupid things in retail and it begins to haunt you after a while.

 

[Papa Dangerous]

GC on 14th street in Manhattan, Talking to the sales guy,

Me: "Man, you've got a slim selection of five strings."
Sales guy: " I don't like five strings."
long silence........... conversation over.

I guess I should have asked him what else he doesn't like.

I went to a GC in Mass when on vacation... They had their traditional wall of basses that reached the ceiling... I counted about 100 of them. Only one was a fretless, and it was used bass.


Why the hell would they stack so many basses so damn high??? Its not decoration, its a store!

 

[JACink]

I recently went to a store close to where I am staying at the moment (Genoa) in search of some flats for my FL, to give them a try as it seems to be obligatory for all TB members!!

The "not so" helpful assistant told me various times that I could only play Jazz on these strings!

After refusing to buy some "D'Addario" flats at over 40 euros, I got some rounds instead, much to his dismay, as he insisted that they "Would not work on a fretless bass!".

 

[Vincent P]

Unrelated to bass but, music store related none the less.

My son wants to swap out his acitve pickups on an Ibenez 7 string, and finds a used set of passive at the store traded in form a customer who upgraded.

Sales Rep: Tested and working by our tech, $80 for both neck and bridge.
My Son: Ok do you have wiring diagram for installation.
Sales Rep: No but you can get those online with a google search.

My son purchases them, and I give him a hand to install all goes well.
My son wants to take his removed actives in to trade towards store credit for future purchases. Common thing with this place.

Sales Rep (who sold my son passives): Hey how are ya, how'd you make out with the pickups?
Son: They work great, the sound is not as muddy anymore.
Sales Rep: What can I do today?
Son: I'd like to trade my actives in towards store credit.
Sales Rep: (knows the pickups are practically brand new, as guitar was purchased a month before) says they look good but where is the installation sheet.
Son: Well there is none as they where pulled out of my guitar but, you can get them online.
Sales Rep: Oh sorry we can't take pickups without wiring diagrams, the tech is to busy.

My son and I look at each other, and laugh.

Son: It's ok, I'll keep them for a future project.

Inside joke with my son and I as we jam, "hey dad before we start, ya got diagrams for this song???"

 

[Dave W]

At Guitar Center

Salesguy: Can I help you?
Me: I'm looking to check out the new Ampeg Portaflex 115
SG: We only have the 210 in the store.
Me: Ok, I'll check it out. DO you know when you'll get the 15's?
SG: Let me check...
SG: We don;t even have them in our system, so they aren't even available to the public yet.
Me: They have them at the other GC...
SG: That's impossible
Me: Ok. Thanks (just wanting him to go away since he has no clue what he's talking about at this point. They had these cabs at 2 other GC's that i was in no less than a week before)

5 minutes go by...

SG: So I was looking in the system, and it seems like we do have some Ampeg Portabass stuff if you're interested.
Me: Those aren't fliptops...I'm looking for a fliptop
SG: They are
Me: They are not. They have been discontinued for years now.
SG: They are
Me: Check Ampeg's website
SG: I'll just talk to my Ampeg rep.
Me: Ok.

This guy was insistent that he knew exactly what he was talking about. I don't expect them to know everything, but at least know something about a new product line. As well as listen to your customers. Just because you're in sales and they are not doesn't mean they don't know what they are talking about. I know WAY more about gear than the average bear.

Ampeg Portabass we're a series of Neo cabs with removeable dollies installed on the cabs. Nothing to do with Portoflex stuff at all, other than sharing "Porta" in the first part of the name...

GC on 14th street in Manhattan, Talking to the sales guy,

Me: "Man, you've got a slim selection of five strings."
Sales guy: " I don't like five strings."
long silence........... conversation over.

I guess I should have asked him what else he doesn't like.

Judging by their selection in that little alcove, I'm guessing he doesn't like a lot of things.

They had practically nothing the last time I was in there.

 

[the yeti]

^^THIS!^^
I don't understand the sales people wanting to know what kind of music I'm going to play. What difference does it make? It's a bass! I'm looking for a certain tone, weight, and feel...I can play ANYTHING on it. I know enough to know what I want. I wouldn't listen to some clown trying to explain to me what he thinks I need.

they have to ask because if you play metal they need to show you the best bass for that...

 

[the yeti]

At Guitar Center

Salesguy: Can I help you?
Me: I'm looking to check out the new Ampeg Portaflex 115
SG: We only have the 210 in the store.
Me: Ok, I'll check it out. DO you know when you'll get the 15's?
SG: Let me check...
SG: We don;t even have them in our system, so they aren't even available to the public yet.
Me: They have them at the other GC...
SG: That's impossible
Me: Ok. Thanks (just wanting him to go away since he has no clue what he's talking about at this point. They had these cabs at 2 other GC's that i was in no less than a week before)

5 minutes go by...


This guy was insistent that he knew exactly what he was talking about. .

i had almost exactly the same thing happen at GC here, but i wanted to try out a gk mb212... ""they don't make a 212." really?, i'm pretty sure they do... "no, they definitely don't make one." ok, cool. so i tried every amp in the store at obnoxious volume. i know... i'm 12.

 

[s_mcsleazy]

ive got 3 really bad storys. the 1st 2 storys were in the same shop

me- hello, id like to try that electro harmonix bassballs in the window for £40
shop guy- ill go get it. *hands me a behringer vintage bass* there you go
me- if you dont mind me saying i wanted to try the bassballs...
shop guy- oh ill let you try both
*plays the behringer for 5 mins*
me- can i try the bassballs yet?
shop guy- well why would you want to now that i just put the deal through the system?
me- i never said i would buy it
shop guy- well you tryed it out didnt you? so then give me the £75
me- wait your trying to charge me £75 for somthing i dont want when the thing i actually want is cheeper and i know for a fact will sound better
shop guy- please sir, dont be a dick, take the behringer home and if you arent 100% happy you can trade it in for the bassballs
me- so what your saying is i spend £75 on the behringer so i can then have the bassballs and ill be out of pocket? no thanks
shop guy- well if you dont want the bassballs then you can just leave



me- hello, can i try the squier jazz that costs £100 please?
shop guy- certianly *hands me a £350 fender p-bass*
me- i asked to try the jazz bass because its in my price range and the p-bass aint
shop guy- just give it a try
me- nope, you did this to me 5 month ago. i aint falling for it again
shop guy- then fine, ill call the police.
*casually walks out*



me- hello, id like to try the holy grail reverb with a bass, please
shop guy- ok *hands me a strat"
me- i asked to try this with bass, not guitar
shop guy- theres a diffrence?

 

[EggplantofDoom]

Salesman: "Whats up man? Looking for anything?
Me: "Yea I'm looking for a good 6 string bass."
Salesman: "Huhh??"

 

[MattyH]

GC #1 - Long Island

Me - Do you guys have any more Fender J's? I have some gift cards and I'm looking to buy today. I need a toss around bass for my wedding band job. My '62 is showing its road rash!

Sales Guy - No

Me - You guys used to be stocked like crazy. You hardly carry any basses anymore! (Jokingly said, but thats the situation. Terribly under stocked)

Sales Guy - Well, we're called GUITAR center for a reason.




GC #2 - Long Island - Same day

Bought an AWESOME Standard Mexi Jazz in stunning sunburst finish from their extensive bass selection.

 

[Papazita]

I was trying out a Warwick Corvette Std fretless. The "Bill & Ted" saleskid comes up & tries to impress.

Duuude! Scopin' the 'wick, huh? Niiiiiiice, huh?

Yeah, it's decent.

Check it owt, duuuude! Handmade in, like, France and ****!

Warwick is actually German, but this is made in Korea.

Riiight riiight dude, Freakin' Germany, maaan! That ****'s like, imported, dude!

O...k...

Check owt that body. dude! Solid. Freaking. Ma-hawg-a-nee! Awesome!

It's bubinga.

Riiiiight, ma-hawg-a-nee, dude, awesome. So you wanna buy that thing, I'll hook you up, 'k dude?

Yeah, ok.

 

[totallyfrozen]

GC on 14th street in Manhattan, Talking to the sales guy,

Me: "Man, you've got a slim selection of five strings."
Sales guy: " I don't like five strings."
long silence........... conversation over.

I guess I should have asked him what else he doesn't like.

Clown: "I don't like five strings."
You: "Do you like money?"

I just paid approx. $93 for a 5-string set of TI flats...that's a ridiculous amount of money for some strings! If he carried 5-string sets, he could make some money. 5-string sets can be quite expensive. He's clueless.

 

[totallyfrozen]

they have to ask because if you play metal they need to show you the best bass for that...

Sadly, you're probably closer to the truth than we'd like to admit.

 

[Peredur]

Thers is the story of Darryl Jones out on the road with Madonna. He wandered into the local guitar shop killing time and asked to try a bass. The assistant proceeded to show him all his best licks while quizzing him about what he did. He responded with something pretty humble about being a working bassist and the sales assistant regaled him with stories of his own awsome career. When further pressed, Jones admitted that he was touring with Madonna. The chops-fest ended pretty quickly!

 

[totallyfrozen]

...I give him about 6 months until he shuts down.

So he'll be gone in 2 months France time.

 

[Papazita]

Several years ago, the local shop became an Ampeg dealer. As the store owner was a retired pro Nashville bass player, I thought he might have some decent stuff. One cheap not-so-stellar combo was all he had. I asked about ordering a 4x10, and was told that Ampeg didn't make bass cabs with anything smaller than a 15. :scowl:

 

[JimmyThunder]

Years ago a dude opened up a little indie shop in the city I was living in. He was basically a bassist and collector who decided to sell off his personal stash, plus carried Ampeg stuff (he was Ampeg obsessed) and some accessories. I was unemployed at the time so I'd hang out and shoot the bull. Bought a cheap used amp from him and strings and such to be supportive. There was never anybody else in the store.

Why? Because he didn't have a sign out front. Or do any advertising at all. He told me "You can see in the windows that I've got guitars and amps, of course people know it's a music store. I don't need a sign." I was an advertising executive so I volunteered to manage all of his ads for him for free and recommended an inexpensive sign maker but he was adamantly uninterested.

Closed within 6 months. I might have been the only customer.

 

[Waffles and Scotch]

Years ago a dude opened up a little indie shop in the city I was living in. He was basically a bassist and collector who decided to sell off his personal stash, plus carried Ampeg stuff (he was Ampeg obsessed) and some accessories. I was unemployed at the time so I'd hang out and shoot the bull. Bought a cheap used amp from him and strings and such to be supportive. There was never anybody else in the store.

Why? Because he didn't have a sign out front. Or do any advertising at all. He told me "You can see in the windows that I've got guitars and amps, of course people know it's a music store. I don't need a sign." I was an advertising executive so I volunteered to manage all of his ads for him for free and recommended an inexpensive sign maker but he was adamantly uninterested.

Closed within 6 months. I might have been the only customer.

Wow.

 

[totallyfrozen]

Years ago a dude opened up a little indie shop in the city I was living in. He was basically a bassist and collector who decided to sell off his personal stash, plus carried Ampeg stuff (he was Ampeg obsessed) and some accessories. I was unemployed at the time so I'd hang out and shoot the bull. Bought a cheap used amp from him and strings and such to be supportive. There was never anybody else in the store.

Why? Because he didn't have a sign out front. Or do any advertising at all. He told me "You can see in the windows that I've got guitars and amps, of course people know it's a music store. I don't need a sign." I was an advertising executive so I volunteered to manage all of his ads for him for free and recommended an inexpensive sign maker but he was adamantly uninterested.

Closed within 6 months. I might have been the only customer.

Sounds like he had some emotional issues with selling his collection. Some people know they need to sell off and make some money but they aren't emotionally prepared to let go of stuff.
Watch the show American Pickers and you'll see it all the time.

 

[Mykk]

The way I see it. Coming across an 'incompetent' employee is not the fault of that particular worker. Retail Stores & Music Stores don't hire based off of knowledge. Sure, you need to know a little bit about the product. But, knowing too much or being an 'Expert" will disqualify you from working in these stores. Management would rather pay a high school drop out $8/hr instead of an 'experienced' employee $12/hr+.....

The moron will at least be able to sell enough strings and picks to 10fold his wages and the store still comes out ahead. Have you ever applied for a job and been told you are overqualified?