Are These The Most Pretentious Lyrics Ever Written?

[Vic Winters]

"A venerated vaulting of veracious vitality

Vainly vying with volcanic virtuousity"

 

[Nashrakh]

lol, exactly what I was thinking about.

I loved that part...

 

[bogey_j]

Here's Behold... The Arctopus with their song "Alcoholocaust" from their album Nano-Nucleonic Cyborg Summoning.

that cant be real, can it?

 

[Munjibunga]

Taintless. How can that be? Cloaca?

 

[pklima]

Oh, "taintless". I thought it said "talentless".

Still, meaningless babble built from big words doesn't irritate me nearly as much as songs proclaiming the band's artistic integrity. Metallica's "Nothing Else Matters" is one well-known example, but not the worst. Brian Burns' "Nothing To Say" is probably the worst:

I was drivin’ 35 down to San Antone
when I heard on the radio Waylon was gone.
Radio ain’t played Waylon since 1982,
now they’re callin’ him a hero, hell, I don’t think Waylon knew.

They don’t make records like they did before,
nobody’s in it for music no more,
it's all Chippendales dancers wigglin’ at the CMA,
and I don’t make a record if I ain’t got nothin’ to say.

CHORUS:
I don’t make a record if I ain’t got nothin’ to say,
hey, I don’t make noise if I can’t think of nothin’ to play.
If I’ve got wind blowin’ in my mind,
I don’t go bookin’ no studio time,
I don’t make a record if I ain’t got nothin’ to say.

They got sexy tractors and pearl snap shirts,
eighth-grade level is where it all works,
man, it’s Nashville and Austin fightin’ their demons to a draw,
and them horny housewives just wanna hear some Tim McGraw.

Now, in Texas it’s as easy as one-two-three,
drink beer, throw-up, let’s cut a CD,
hey, if that’s Texas Music, this just ain’t my day,
‘cause I don’t make a record if I ain’t got nothin’ to say.

REPEAT CHORUS

Now, it's T for Texas, T for Tennesee,
man, they're startin' to sound about the same to me,
prefabricated Muzak suckin' your soul away,
but I won’t make a record if I ain’t got nothin’ to say.

REPEAT CHORUS

Claiming to be literally the only person in the world making good country music? Yeah, that's pretty pretentious.

 

[Munjibunga]

I speak of the pompitous of love.

 

[NOAH_FX]

I won't say that these are "worse," but I will say that they're not great without the tunes.

You know that it would be untrue
You know that I would be a liar
If I was to say to you
Girl, we couldn't get much higher
Come on baby, light my fire
Come on baby, light my fire
Try to set the night on fire

The time to hesitate is through
No time to wallow in the mire
Try now we can only lose
And our love become a funeral pyre
Come on baby, light my fire
Come on baby, light my fire
Try to set the night on fire, yeah

Or

You need coolin', baby, I'm not foolin',
I'm gonna send you back to schoolin',
Way down inside honey, you need it,
I'm gonna give you my love,
I'm gonna give you my love.

[Chorus]
Wanna Whole Lotta Love [X4]

You've been learnin', baby, I've been yearnin',
All them good times, baby, baby, I've been yearnin',
Way, way down inside honey, you need it,
I'm gonna give you my love... I'm gonna give you my love.


Or
Baby let me follow you down, baby let me follow you down
Well I'll do anything in this godalmighty world
If you just let me follow you down.

Can I come home with you, baby can I come home with you ?
Yes I'll do anything in this godalmighty world
If you just let me come home with you.

Or


Mother do you think they'll drop the bomb?
Mother do you think they'll like this song?
Mother do you think they'll try to break my balls?
Mother should I build the wall?
Mother should I run for president?
Mother should I trust the government?
Mother will they put me in the firing line?
Mother am I really dying?

Hush now baby, baby, dont you cry.
Mother's gonna make all your nightmares come true.
Mother's gonna put all her fears into you.
Mother's gonna keep you right here under her wing.
She wont let you fly, but she might let you sing.
Mama will keep baby cozy and warm.
Ooooh baby ooooh baby oooooh baby,
Of course mama'll help to build the wall.

yeah but atleast Roger Waters Admit's to being pretencious lol

 

[Deluge Of Sound]

yeah but atleast Roger Waters Admit's to being pretencious lol

And at least the lyrics in that first post are spelled correctly...