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are your bandmates your friends?
- Thread starter pcollin
- Start date
Can Work any way really, I've been in bands with friends but they very often get not much further than a regular jam. then there are bands that I have joined with people I haven't known and it has gone one of two ways. It has got to a point where I'm finding I can't work with them, or they turn out to be great and they end up as friends anyway.
We were a trio for almost three years. I was friends with the piano player and the guitar player joined us. We are each of a different generation, in a different stage of life, and we get along great. We have lots of fun at rehearsals, and our families all know and like each other, though we usually only get together around major events like festivals and such. It's just right.
We've recently added a drummer. He comes from a completely different background, even speaks a different language, and we're playing the whole relationship thing by ear. He are I are most in-tune musically, and I'll try to get together with him outside the framework of the band and see if that doesn't help warm things up.
(p.s. He has a boat, and I know he wants to take us all out one day, and if there is enough beer, my guess is that we'll all come back friends.)
We've recently added a drummer. He comes from a completely different background, even speaks a different language, and we're playing the whole relationship thing by ear. He are I are most in-tune musically, and I'll try to get together with him outside the framework of the band and see if that doesn't help warm things up.
(p.s. He has a boat, and I know he wants to take us all out one day, and if there is enough beer, my guess is that we'll all come back friends.)
To say we're not friends sounds harsh - of course we're friends. We've spent a lot of time together,and get along great. But we don't hang out round each others house's all the time. None of us knew each other before the band, and if we weren't in the band we probably wouldn't know each other.
We're in the band because we can do the job, not because we went to school with someone. I occasionally play with some "non-band" friends, and that's fun too, but in that case I do it BECAUSE they're friends. The "friends band" admits members on the basis of if we like them - as a result the musical standard is low, but it doesn't gig often (birthday parties and the like), so it works great. None of me "friends" would cut it in my working band.
My take is basically to decide which comes first - the friendship or the music. If you want to gig then recruit musicians, and don't expect them to be friends. If you want to hang out then play with friends, and don't expect the band to progress fast. If you try and get both from the same band it'll be an excerise in frustration, and pain.
We're in the band because we can do the job, not because we went to school with someone. I occasionally play with some "non-band" friends, and that's fun too, but in that case I do it BECAUSE they're friends. The "friends band" admits members on the basis of if we like them - as a result the musical standard is low, but it doesn't gig often (birthday parties and the like), so it works great. None of me "friends" would cut it in my working band.
My take is basically to decide which comes first - the friendship or the music. If you want to gig then recruit musicians, and don't expect them to be friends. If you want to hang out then play with friends, and don't expect the band to progress fast. If you try and get both from the same band it'll be an excerise in frustration, and pain.
Back in my teens to early twenties I was in two bands, and have life long friends from both. Back then though we all lived-breathed-sleeped the band. Now that I'm in cover bands with other dudes who have jobs, wives, kids, etc.... it's a little more business like. We all enjoy each others company though.
My guitarist & I live in his big old house that we're fixing up (with a basement studio, natch. . . He's a programmer with no idea which end of a nail-gun is which, and I'm a contractor. . . match made in heck, heh!). He and our drummer went to school together, and all three of us get together for BBQs, birthdaze, concerts, etc.
definitely. we were best friends for years before we formed the band, and it's mostly for fun anyway. i'd really love to join another more serious group though.
Not particularly, though they're good guys. We're co-workers during the week, and outside of the band we really have nothing in common.
A month or so ago, I would have said "Yes". There's some really weird stuff in the air lately, and now I'm not so sure. For the most part, and with most of the boys, the answer is still yes, but........ I'm going to have to get back to you on this one.
4 of us are in our 50's and 1 is in his 40's. We all have families, jobs and the accompanying responsibilities. We are certainly friendly with each other and, occasionally, we all go see another band's show or something like that. We are not really close friends but, yet, we are certainly more than acquaintences.
6jase5
Mammogram is down but I'm working manually
Yup, we hang out together in and out of band functions. All the girlfriends have a great time together as well so it's a nice union. If you spend that much time with people, you either become friends or enemies and we got lucky. Our girlfriends and wives make for hot roadies too, as they are "get in there and help carry the gear" girls!! We are blessed and we know it.
I live with my bandmates, well except for our keyboardist. So far so good, we are all pretty straight forward people and don't let things fester. I think you can be in a band with people who aren't your friends, but I prefer it the other way around.
My band has a retinue of "Lazy Band Ho's". They don't dare lift a finger to help, as it may very well jeopardize their lazy band ho status.
Most of the bands I've been in, I've either started the band with a very good friend or was asked to join a band by a friend.
The one band I joined cold via 'wanted' ad, gigged the most, lasted the longest, but also crashed the hardest. Everyone went their separate ways and I've not been in touch with most of them in the past 8 years since it dissolved.
Meanwhile, the friends I used to be in bands with call me all the time for jams and\or recording projects.
The one band I joined cold via 'wanted' ad, gigged the most, lasted the longest, but also crashed the hardest. Everyone went their separate ways and I've not been in touch with most of them in the past 8 years since it dissolved.
Meanwhile, the friends I used to be in bands with call me all the time for jams and\or recording projects.
Me and my band are best friends. We Hang out every day even if we cant jam that day.I think in a band you have to be really close to your bandmates.Both the guitarist in my band and I hung out years before we were a band, and jammed for about 3 years. Back in Decemember we got a new drummer, and Back then the band wasnt tight, but now since we hang out and jam all the time we write good songs fast and the band is locking in with eachother.
thankfully, yes. I did not know any of them before I joined the band, but they're such nice folks that I consider them all friends now.
Eh, sort of. The lead singer and I are probably the closest, but even still we don't "hang out" beyond the occasional drink...and then we're talking shop.
Our original drummer was close friends with the singer. He had a meltdown and quit
hyper, we picked up a new drummer the same day (I had him waiting in the wings; I saw the meltdown coming) and have been blazing forward faster than I could have hoped for.
We all enjoy each other's company, but not being "buddies" allows us to get down to business a little faster.
-Mark
Our original drummer was close friends with the singer. He had a meltdown and quit
hyper, we picked up a new drummer the same day (I had him waiting in the wings; I saw the meltdown coming) and have been blazing forward faster than I could have hoped for.We all enjoy each other's company, but not being "buddies" allows us to get down to business a little faster.
-Mark
