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are your bandmates your friends?

P

pcollin

Dec 22, 2005
156
0
Portland, Maine
#1
I've been playing bass since 1986 and have played in a lot of bands. Usually with a good friend or two, neighbor, family member, etc. About a year and a half ago I answered a "bass player wanted" ad on craigslist (my current band) and the band has been great! The curious thing is we're not really "friends". We just get together for this one thing - to play music. Everyone is nice enough, same general ages, same general taste in music and we play really well together but thats it. It's kind of odd but it works. Best of all we haven't had any stupid, weird band drama -- WHICH IS WORTH IT RIGHT THERE!

Just wondering if anyone else has this type of arrangement.
 
#6
No, not really. It's more like a good business acquaintance. You may have the occasional beer together after work (and you usually just talk shop) but not really hang out together.
 
#7
Yes. We were all friends with common musical interests before we decided to start a band. In a way, that's bad for the progress and efficiency of a band. We'll meet up for a rehearsal with the intention of working for hours, spend 30 minutes actually playing/talking about music, and then spend the whole rest of the day just BSing about random stuff. -_- But it's all good.
 
#9
The curious thing is we're not really "friends". We just get together for this one thing - to play music. Everyone is nice enough, same general ages, same general taste in music and we play really well together


Very similar for me. Working out just fine for now - no hassles at all.
 
#10
I have a couple different projects going right now, so the answer is yes and no.

One is solely based on friendship. A guy I played with in college now does studio work and has been a touring guitarist with some somewhat well known name acts. He and I trade ideas via emailed mp3s and get together every few months to hang out and write. He's a monster guitar player and also a much better keyboard and bass player than me and almost as good a singer. But we're friends and we love hanging out and playing music together.

A more regular project is a gig backing up a singer/songwriter in her trio. She's a grad student and the drummer (and the former bassist) is a friend of her dad's. We get along really well and it's fun stuff musically (indie pop with jazz touches I guess I'd call it) but we aren't best friends.

My main gig is a Red Hot Chili Peppers tribute band. I've played with the drummer and guitarist for 4 years now in different projects. The guitarist is like a little brother to me. He's nine years younger than me (I just turned 31) and we get along really well for the most part, though he does a lot of the annoying things that are often associated with youth and/or guitar players.

The drummer and I have had some real blowouts. He's had them with the other members to a lesser extent too (our singer quit once after one) but he's a great drummer and we practice and record at his house, and for the most part a good guy. After all this time I think we've reached a good level of respect and understanding (he asked if I wanted to sing lead in his new group, an all classic rock covers and eventually some originals band, and I'm considering it) but we'll never be best friends. Our singer is a great guy though he's definitely got his quirks and can be a bit on the sensitive side.

My last project is an acid jazz/dub group which is more idea than reality at this point. I've been steadily working on outlines of songs, basslines and other material but have yet to put together a band. I'm really hoping to do this one with friends, likely including my guitar player from the RHCP band.

I think a better question to ask is, would you rather be in an awesome band with people you didn't get along with or a mediocre band with friends?
 
#11
I've found with every band I'm in with friends, you're friends when you start, but by the time it falls apart (which it inevitably will) you all @%&*in' hate each other for a good half a year, then repeat.

I joined a band with some complete unknowns, I found that if they all know each other and you know no one then it can get a little bit... tense at time when you feel left out, when it's all people who don't know each other it can be a little tense too, for completely different reasons.

I think the perfect mixture is, one good but not great friend and the rest of the band you don't know, if it's a 4 piece most likely the other two will probably know each other at about the same level, perfect chemistry!
 
#12
yes and no

the first one we're friends since kinder garden but theres no vocalist im a punk/post punk/alt and art rock guy the drummer is a hip hop/classical rock fan and the guitarrist an iron maiden die hard band so the drummer does his fancy beats the guitarrist solos like crazy and i just do my lead bass thingy and ends up pretty well but we do it really to have a good time

the other are complete strangers and ive been missing to most of the practises...

one day i was at my bass lesson and this guy comes in and ask the teacher for someone he send me and the next thing i know im in a band o.o

the only two times we've played we did come asyou are and some weird ba nd cover
 
#13
It's imperative to like the people your in a band with. You don't have to be best friends with them. If you play a lot, it's hard to stay best friends. The friendship turns into a working relationship in many ways. It's sad, but that seems to be the way it works.
 
#17
We are the best of friends who happen to jam together...which makes things a little tricky for me. I am wanting to get more serious...like actually leave the garage. These guys have all been there and done that and are happy with just getting together for beer and just playing. Im wanting to move on if things dont move along a little. Im not trying to be a rockstar or even worried about making money...I just want to play out while Im still young enough to carry my own gear, but dont want to hurt anyones feelings:crying:
 
#18
My bandmates now are just buisness aquaintences; we never hang out volentarily, which I percieve as a bummer, being that we're all so much alike about many things. Some past bands have been with friends, but when we played alot we just ended up getting on eachother's nerves, so I can see why as time goes on players don't invest themselves personally in a band.
 
#19
PunkerTrav said:
I was best friends with my bandmates well before we formed the band. I can't imagine seriously playing music in a group where there isn't that level of comfort and trust.
Click to expand...

Exactly. I feel this way as well...when we're getting along. I mean, I enjoy working with people I have known for a long time, it just makes it that much more enjoyable because you have something more to talk about besides what chord progression the guitarist wrote down. However, petty differences also get in the way. I can see a band working well if you met just as you joined the band, but I can also see a certain comfort level missing. I'd say the ideal thing would be to put people together whom you know will not have conflicting personalities. My band...well it broke up now, but the guitarist and drummer had a sort of rage building up towards each other for awhile, and eventually it exploded. I was kind've the middle guy...typical bassist position LOL :bassist:
 
#20
CallieBum73 said:
We are the best of friends who happen to jam together...which makes things a little tricky for me. I am wanting to get more serious...like actually leave the garage. These guys have all been there and done that and are happy with just getting together for beer and just playing. Im wanting to move on if things dont move along a little. Im not trying to be a rockstar or even worried about making money...I just want to play out while Im still young enough to carry my own gear, but dont want to hurt anyones feelings:crying:
Click to expand...

find another group and play with both...so simple.
 

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