Ashamed

[neil|lien]

I'm not sure if this is a humor thread or seriously looking for answers, or? But while your list of gear is a bit long,
it spans several years, AND you are moving it along, not hoarding it. It looks like you tried about 12 basses last year. That's hardly a time suck on your life or something to feel guilty or ashamed of. Seems like a healthy hobby you should feel good about. Enjoy it.

Yeah, true, it's the only hobby i have actually. I don't drink, nor use, nor collect anything... thanks for the kind words

 

[neil|lien]

Ashamed?
I think perhaps you're in the wrong forum.
I'm proud of you.

...except that you sold most of them.

Hahaha lol Dragging me towards the Dark Side, aren't U?

 

[neil|lien]

"Online Shopping Addiction" is an actual thing, just like many other addictions.

You're getting a dopamine hit every time you hit the "buy it now" button. Then you crash and search for your next hit.

1) Detox from the internet 100% for about three months and see what happens.

2) Don't worry about the past: The past is shame, the future is anxiety. All you can do is plant your feet on the ground and worry about TODAY, right now.

Shame is a waste of time. You're holding yourself hostage.

A lot of wisdom in this post here! Thank U!
My problem is the yow. I am going to try the detox for 3 months...
The two gigs in march are not my project, i don't have any new music to promote so it seems like a good time to disappezr for a while...

 

[neil|lien]

In my experience, the #1 thing you can do is STOP looking at websites (like Talkbass or mfrs. websites) and looking at all the targeted product and marketing emails.

They provide a source of temptation that becomes very difficult to ignore. When they say, “ignorance is bliss,” there’s truth there. You can’t obsess over something you don’t know exists.

This all said, if there is no negative impact on your life or on others, then to each their own. It’s when it becomes an addiction or where you or others are negative impacted that things may need to change.

My 2 cents. No flames please.

Yeah, it doesn't affect others in a negative way at all. I've even broken even in terms of money buying and selling second hand.. but i feel i am on the wrong path and it does affect my moods quite negatively indeed... hence the need to change !
Thanks for Ur input!

 

[Pilgrim]

The great thing about life is YOU ARE ALLOWED TO LEARN AND GET SMARTER AS YOU GO.

Your initial post indicates that you are learning and getting smarter. The tough part is changing habits. They're hard to change because they ARE habits.

But identifying the problem habit is a big piece of solving the problem. Keep with it, and if you are seeing a therapist, that will help. We don't change our habits overnight, but we can do so over time.

 

[drumvsbass]

I currently have in my possession, two 10k basses (as well as a few others, but to make the point...), a pedal board probably worth around 12k, and at least 10k into my studio rig. Much money was spent just getting here. I reside in a 450sq foot studio apartment in the worst part of the city that I live in. I do not own a car, and make little or no money off of any of the music gear that I own. It's never paid for itself. I have no delusion of 'making it'. No shame. We're all on a path to somewhere.

 

[neil|lien]

Seems like you have a problem with responsibility.

Do not spend the money you simply do not have.
And if you do have the money, ask yourself is spending it is going to be dangerous in any way.

Do not spend the stuff you do not have, do not rack up any debt - I have been with people who were like that and it is NOT a thing you want to be doing, it sets you back a lot and takes possibly years of your life, just wasting your time, paying off bills. Why do that.

Just because it is about basses, it doesn't make it a strictly bass issue.

Yeah the responsibility thing might be an issue. I have never gone into debt, worked myself through college, been working low-responsibility jobs since then just so i would have time to practice/make music..
But i have never gone into debt. Ever. That's something, ain't it?

 

[neil|lien]

Face reality. You've already learned that gear doesn't equal success in music. In fact, in many cases, gear acquisition syndrome (spending your time shopping) is a way to avoid the hard work involved in succeeding -- practice, practice, practice ... and marketing. Get rid of all but what is absolutely necessary and focus on getting as skillful as you can on those few instruments -- actually, maybe on a single instrument, with a backup just in case. If you have money left from the sale of your instruments, take a lesson or two with a fabulous player/teacher (Michael League lives in Spain but I don't know if he teaches). Get great, then get out there and get gigs.

Yeah, i am on it!
I am just looking for ways to do exactly everything U've said! Looking for ways to trick myself so that i dont fall again... or to become more rigorous.. i guess it's a process

 

[Spidey2112]

Yes, exactly!
I mean, i don't collect, i have sold off almost everything, haven't lost any money in the process and am planning on sticking to two basses and a guitar... but i am looking for advice on how to do exactly what U say: being tempted by other instruments that could be within reach if i sold this or that...

Sounds as if you're putting way too much effort in the 'catch and release' of things, not taking any amount of time to savor the victory of the hunt.

I blame TB for your affliction. Your percentage owned and sold prior to becoming a member was... acceptable.

After enrolling in the Enabler-Hood of Lo Freqs, your activity rose exponentially.

There is help, though... we meet on Thursdays, and yes... newbies bring the donuts.

See you there.

 

[neil|lien]

I used to be in the scene and was trying to "make it". Still am, but I joined the trades so now I'm not broke anymore and still enjoy music every day! I enjoy my career and still have time to invest hours of my time every day into the bass. Hate to say it man but music is like 10x harder to succeed in than being an electrician.

edit: just saw that youre 39... Ive seen younger apprentices out there. Not too late though.

Haha yeah i am actually also applying for other jobs... A 9 to 17h instead of 16h to 20h which i currently have..

 

[neil|lien]

The great thing about life is YOU ARE ALLOWED TO LEARN AND GET SMARTER AS YOU GO.

Your initial post indicates that you are learning and getting smarter. The tough part is changing habits. They're hard to change because they ARE habits.

But identifying the problem habit is a big piece of solving the problem. Keep with it, and if you are seeing a therapist, that will help. We don't change our habits overnight, but we can do so over time.

Very true indeed !

Thank you for the reality check & reminding me that patience is key..

 

[neil|lien]

I currently have in my possession, two 10k basses (as well as a few others, but to make the point...), a pedal board probably worth around 12k, and at least 10k into my studio rig. Much money was spent just getting here. I reside in a 450sq foot studio apartment in the worst part of the city that I live in. I do not own a car, and make little or no money off of any of the music gear that I own. It's never paid for itself. I have no delusion of 'making it'. No shame. We're all on a path to somewhere.

Very true indeed! I just hope i find a way to get this under control cuz it's honestly not making me happy..

 

[neil|lien]

Sounds as if you're putting way too much effort in the 'catch and release' of things, not taking any amount of time to savor the victory of the hunt.

I blame TB for your affliction. Your percentage owned and sold prior to becoming a member was... acceptable.

After enrolling in the Enabler-Hood of Lo Freqs, your activity rose exponentially.

There is help, though... we meet on Thursdays, and yes... newbies bring the donuts.

See you there.

Hahhaa !
Where do U all meet! I am in!!

 

[CletusMarley]

I think for some people it's the buying and flipping and trading that is the fun part. Nothing wrong with that. I hope you find what you are looking for!

 

[neil|lien]

THANK YOU ALL FOR SHARING YOUR INSIGHT, OPINIONS, ADVICE AND TIME!

VERY MUCH APPRECIATED!
I will try the internet detox thing for three months, and delete the app i was using to buy and sell..
Starting next week as i need to "unfollow" a bunch of threads here, and i am still expecting my ESP-LTD bass some time next week..

 

[BassBrass]

Save SHAME for actual social-interpersonal crimes. What you are describing is FUNNY, you just need to get a handle on it Over Time and try to do better. Feeling shame in this case is useless and will derail your doing better.
You've CONFESSED here, now move on, see you later.

 

[neil|lien]

I think for some people it's the buying and flipping and trading that is the fun part. Nothing wrong with that. I hope you find what you are looking for!

Yes, i think it was fun and interesting at first. Now it's making me unhappy and that's why i decided to reach out!

 

[Spidey2112]

Hahhaa !
Where do U all meet! I am in!!

At the donut shop, of course.

 

[neil|lien]

Save SHAME for actual social-interpersonal crimes. What you are describing is FUNNY, you just need to get a handle on it Over Time and try to do better. Feeling shame in this case is useless and will derail your doing better.
You've CONFESSED here, now move on, see you later.

Amen to that!
Let's say it was all just a silly mistake because i was young.. hum... lol

 

[fu22ba55]

I am going to try the detox for 3 months...

Something else you'll notice if you cut back on internet / smartphone / doomscrolling is your memory will improve. Or better said: you'll be able to learn more new things by converting short-term memories to long-term memories.

If you're constantly bombarding your brain with new info, it can't process anything important and convert it to long-term storage: