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Asking a band member for too much help.

creis2

creis2

Guest
Nov 11, 2011
703
1
Cambridge, MA
#1
So I play in a 4 piece. They've been together for a few years, I joined the group pretty recently.

We recently did a tour a, when we unload, we typically carry our own stuff, maybe we'll assist with some drum hardware, we're all pretty independent.

I had a roadcase made for my 610 cab, it's a lift off style due to back ports. I can't get the lid off myself, it's super heavy and awkward.

On the tour, after I roll myself in, every night I would ask the same guy (guitarist) to help me lift it off. It isn't bad with two people, at least I don't think so.

The other night after I asked he told me "no learn to do it yourself".

Not sure what to do at this point. Was I asking too much from him?
 
#5
GhettoBrassGuy said:
Umm...no. He's being a dick. Not sure what your situation is but I'm happy to help someone in any band I'm in. Maybe team up with the drummer and help him load in/out so he'd be willing to help you with your stuff.
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Yeah, I mean this band is pretty awkward for me to begin with. Every one of my previous projects has been with good friends. Friends I've known for years, the type of people that would give you the shirt off their back.

This current band is very fun musically, but trying to feel comfortable with the guys is a hard one for me.

I feel kind of bad, everyone has manageable gear, but my big old case is heavy and large.

This has been giving me such a sour feeling, I'm almost ready to move on. I would rather play crappy music with people I can call friends and love being around than good music with a bunch of awkward dudes.

Sometimes we forget.....music is supposed to be fun.
 
#7
I'll play devil's advocate.............first, what kind of band is this that you need such a cumbersome cabinet? Just asking! I'm of the opinion that everyone is responsible for their own gear. I help unload and load the PA gear but I don't touch anyone's personal gear! I lug my own gear and have bought components that are very easily managed by myself. Personally, I would be annoyed if someone continually asked me to help with their gear. I suggest getting more manageable gear.

This is just my opinion so take it with a grain of salt.
 
#8
DWBass said:
I'll play devil's advocate.............first, what kind of band is this that you need such a cumbersome cabinet? Just asking! I'm of the opinion that everyone is responsible for their own gear. I help unload and load the PA gear but I don't touch anyone's personal gear! I lug my own gear and have bought components that are very easily managed by myself. Personally, I would be annoyed if someone continually asked me to help with their gear. I suggest getting more manageable gear.

This is just my opinion so take it with a grain of salt.
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It isn't a very big cabinet, it's a custom made 610 with the same dimensions as an Ampeg 610, I don't consider it overkill. I'm playing with 2 tube combo amps that are pretty cranked with a loud drummer.

The case lid isn't very heavy, but if I take it off myself, i have to grab the handles on each side and at this angle I can only lift it so high. It's pretty effortless with two people.

At this point, I'm ready to tell them to go suck on an egg and find something new for myself.
 
#11
BassNeo said:
He will ask for a favor at some point and you can return the insult if you want. Personally, I'd rub it in then help him anyway.
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I really don't see how this could in any way be constructive / productive for the band.

OP,
If you ain't feeling it - leave!
It doesn't have to be a go suck an egg type of departure either.
Just tell them that you gotta go - then go.
 
#18
nortonrider said:
I really don't see how this could in any way be constructive / productive for the band.
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Maybe I just have thicker skin than most, or I'm just a bigger dick. Either way, I'm comfortable with it.

What is in no way constructive / productive in a band is one of the members telling another to 'figure out how to do it yourself'. Pointing it out is fair game.

If the OP doesn't want to give a little jab back to make a point that the guitard should be a team player, that's up to him, he can do as he wishes.
 
#20
Could it be the guitarist is not so tactfully telling you to consider downsizing your rig?

Reason I ask is, I play in a band where one guitarist goes direct or a small combo, I use a 112 bass combo or my SansAmp, and then there's the other guitarist... Whose all tube 50w head and 412 cab each require 2 guys to move and then besides that his road case that is literally as big as an armoire and takes 3 guys to get off the trailer. None of us have ever refused to help him but we have exchanged rolled eyes with each other when we're lugging all that crap into a storefront bar. And we've even made half joking comments tk him ("gee, think you're gonna have enough rig for this gig?" etc.) in hopes he'll take the hint.

Or the opposite may be the case and your guitarist simply has rig envy. ;)
 

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