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Band differences, is it time to go?

ImNotJoel

ImNotJoel

Jan 12, 2014
668
1,019
Connecticut
#1
I am in a band and you may have guessed differences are happening.

Here's a little background we are doing covers and playing some shows. This isn't my job I have a family baby on the way and can only do so much this is more a hobby.

We have made a few originals but after a certain point any originals are in my opinion bad but everyone else likes it.

I am different than them I like and play a lot of genres these guys are mainly rock like guns n roses and Alice in chains.

We recently did a show the practice the night before the guitarist was too drunk and useless....Pisses me off cause it's hard to find the time and leave my family so wasted practice.

Night of the show guitarist was an Hour LATE. When he finally arrived we played the guitarist and drummer missed some cues but the pocket was there.

Since we cover mainly 90s younger people left like seven people were into us that's excluding all of the bands friends they invite.

I have said we need to play different music for other demographics if we want to get out there but they shrug it off. They think we are great but my standards are high there should be zero mistakes these are simple covers.

Also they're so dillusional they don't get that the fan base is their friends they claim they want to be serious. These are my friends but they don't need me and I don't need them if this is the standard. I plan on talking to them next practice.

Anyone ever deal with dillusion like this?
 
#3
ImNotJoel said:
I am in a band and you may have guessed differences are happening.

Here's a little background we are doing covers and playing some shows. This isn't my job I have a family baby on the way and can only do so much this is more a hobby.

We have made a few originals but after a certain point any originals are in my opinion bad but everyone else likes it.

I am different than them I like and play a lot of genres these guys are mainly rock like guns n roses and Alice in chains.

We recently did a show the practice the night before the guitarist was too drunk and useless....Pisses me off cause it's hard to find the time and leave my family so wasted practice.

Night of the show guitarist was an Hour LATE. When he finally arrived we played the guitarist and drummer missed some cues but the pocket was there.

Since we cover mainly 90s younger people left like seven people were into us that's excluding all of the bands friends they invite.

I have said we need to play different music for other demographics if we want to get out there but they shrug it off. They think we are great but my standards are high there should be zero mistakes these are simple covers.

Also they're so dillusional they don't get that the fan base is their friends they claim they want to be serious. These are my friends but they don't need me and I don't need them if this is the standard. I plan on talking to them next practice.

Anyone ever deal with dillusion like this?
Click to expand...

Yeah, everyone who has played/preformed for any length of time as experienced similar situations - personally, I wouldn't put up with it (I'd find another band), but YMMV.

Good luck and best wishes.
 
#5
sharkbait130 said:
Sounds like you are already on a bit higher level than these guys. Probably time to start looking for musicians a bit more serious than these guys.
Click to expand...

+1

Your "big picture" (which has higher/different standards and is pretty admirable in my book) is far different from your band mates' "big picture."

Start looking for musicians who think more like you. Spend lots of time discussing the details, and commit when you are certain you're all reasonably on the same page with the big picture, business model, direction, image, etc.

In other words, approach it like a business and as though you are a professional.
 
#7
We've all been there, but don't kid yourself - zero mistakes is unattainable. With the right players mistakes won't be readily noticeable.

Conduct yourself as a professional & surround yourself with professionals. Don't try to force anybody else into your vision, let them do their thing and move on & find someone who is already doing what you want to do. If you try to "elevate" non-pros to a pro level you're in for a frustrating and disappointing experience. (Don't ask how I know ;) )
 
#9
bssist said:
If you try to "elevate" non-pros to a pro level you're in for a frustrating and disappointing experience. (Don't ask how I know ;) )
Click to expand...

DWBass said:
the music wasn't diverse enough and horrible song selections.
Click to expand...

These two issues are what separate successful cover bands from cover bands spinning their wheels and wondering why they're not getting booked like the other "good" cover bands.

Be a pro.

Choose songs mainstream audiences will like (which includes songs from most all pop/rock genres).

You'd think it was brain surgery the way some musicians behave. And I truly believe a lot of cover band musicians are doing it only for themselves. May as well stay in the basement if that's your goal.
 
#10
So what ARE you getting out of this group? Would you plan on finding another if you quit? Would you be sitting at home in your living room, itching to get out and wishing you were still in a band?

Drunk guitarist, and late to gigs, is a definite red flag. How do the others in the band feel about it? That needs to get solved, but it may mean firing the guitarist, not quitting.

There are two philosophies about set lists - one would be to have a diverse set list so you have something for everyone. The other would be to know your market and craft your set list to a specific demographic. From what I can see, there are two core audiences - 20-somethings and 40-somethings. The 30-somethings are busy getting married and having kids and don't get out for nightlife so much (rather like yourself, sounds like). 20-somethings are still single, 40-somethings' kids are older and don't need to be watched. But I've also noticed that while the older crowd will only dance to older tunes, the younger crowd will dance to anything if it's good. Just because a song came out before they were born doesn't mean they don't know it and love it.

The bottom line to which is... if the younger crowd ditched on your show, I doubt it's because you were playing 90s music. It might just be that the band wasn't very good.

So the bottom BOTTOM line - quitting may be your only option, but ask if you can see this band's problems getting fixed first, because starting over sucks.
 
#14
bssist said:
We've all been there, but don't kid yourself - zero mistakes is unattainable. With the right players mistakes won't be readily noticeable.

Conduct yourself as a professional & surround yourself with professionals. Don't try to force anybody else into your vision, let them do their thing and move on & find someone who is already doing what you want to do. If you try to "elevate" non-pros to a pro level you're in for a frustrating and disappointing experience. (Don't ask how I know ;) )
Click to expand...

This is good advice. "no mistakes" is not a realistic standard, or even all that important. Musicality, talent, fit, shared goals etc. are all more important criteria if we're talking about a band that wants to work for the long haul.
 
#15
From my experience its not so much what you play as how you play it. I have heard really cool songs butchered up past recognition and overplayed, wornout covers that were rocked out. If you really nail all your tunes....tight flawless rhythm section, great lead guitar solos, and all the backing vocals on point including harmonies....people will stay an comeback to see you again. Dont be in a hurry...make sure your sets are locked down and the music is tight.
 
#16
Instead of quitting(at least for now), let your band mates know what you want out of the deal. Set expectations. If they can't or won't, let them fire themselves. Then move on with a clear conscience or conscious.

Same thing works if you're owing or managing a business.

Oh, yeah...a band is a business. :)
 
#18
Thanks everyone all had good stuff I will clarify some things.

Yes this is a hobby but these guys want to make it a business which I have been transparent about not being able to take it to that level I got a fiancé and kids can't take that gamble.

I know that no mistakes are unrealistic but for a bunch of guys who want to make a business out of it they don't even acknowledge any mistakes. Mistakes happen but you must look and fix them.

It is mentioned how's our quality we had one show that went decent we were offered to play a summer show for one of Joe Satriani's former guitarist. Still improvements were needed harmonies being a big one the guitarist does them. I was at first I am a much stronger backing vocalist but the guitarist had the lyrics memorized....apparently. He can't multiple task the singer said he worked with him but problem is they're like family he won't say ok maybe you shouldn't but the lack of honesty hurts us.

I have mentioned before we need more universal music they agreed but then disregard it. Usually I would speak up but the drummer he plays for a "locally famous" band claimed the set list is perfect. Since I haven't been in the music scene in CT here I gave him the benefit of the doubt.

So here's my plan and thoughts, which I'll keep everyone updated. I will like many advised make my point and since I gave their way a chance they should give mine a try. Problem how do you get through to a group of people in a fantasy land. Yes say the truth but these guys are really stuck in their fantasy.

I have told them at a certain point I will need to bow out (around the time my baby's born). They deny it they say we can make it work and even me saying no it won't they must think they can convince me to stay. The band except the drummer don't have kids and certainly don't get you don't sleep having a new born and another kid means another mouth to feed which means make more money.

When push comes to shove it may not be worth putting on too much effort I can deal with covers but when we try and make originals it's just another guns n roses prototype. They love it but they think they can't do the band with out me but it's not what I want.

Honestly making music on my own doesn't sound bad may be time.
 
#19
the drunk useless guitar player at practice would be red flag for me. Especially if they made some avoidable mistakes at the show that could've been fixed if they were more sober at practice. The truth is being professional and being drunk at practice or onstage are things that don't go together. I'm not saying never play in a band with someone who has a drink or two, but when someones sloppy drunk it just makes it no fun for everyone else.

As far as the material, that sounds like every coverband in my area, they only want to play 80s and 90s stuff and they end up playing for about 7 people who are usually made up of the local drunk, girlfriends, friends, and family members. none of which I would consider actual fans.
 
#20
I went through a very similar situation with our former drummer. Although he didn't drink, he was chronically late to practices and gigs. When he did show up he was never in a good mood and his playing was sloppy. We tried to work with him because we had gigs scheduled, but the situation only deteriorated. Our mistake was not putting our foot down at the first sign of trouble. I tend to be too patient and diplomatic in these situations, when I really need to be direct and decisive. If I read you correctly, you do this for fun (while taking it seriously). Don't let one individual get in your way of what you want.

Ironically, were having a problem with our lead guitarist right now. He's was being a baby over having to gig with a sub drummer, so we're doing the gig without him this weekend. I've already told him that he's in the wrong. Come next Monday, I will call him and and see where he stands. I'm willing to give him one chance to redeem himself (since I try to be a nice guy), but I'm not putting up with the petty BS any longer. Either he straightens up immediately, or he's gone.
 

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