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Band Drama The Other Night - Help

Pocket Dave

Pocket Dave

Aug 5, 2022
3,594
8,950
Funky Town, North Texas
#1
So this happened the other night - a band member left abruptly after final note without collecting his pay. This happened after the BL tried to get his attention to cut his solo short during the final number and couldn't, so he just signaled the drummer and I to go to the break.

Did the band member quit? Will he be there next Fri/Sat or will the BL be texting asking for sub recommendations?

Well... Here's what *I* did in response to it all.

Nothing.

Yep. I went home to bed, got up, did some chores, ate some lunch, will prolly watch game 3 of the Rays/Rangers series.

As you can tell, I'm deeply disturbed. Does anyone have any useful recommendations I can ignore?

'Cause if the Rangers don't sweep the Rays and make some significant progress in eliminating their 7 game deficit in the AL west race before the all star break, they may have a rough road ahead for the season's second half.
 
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#5
Pocket Dave said:
So this happened the other night - a band member left abruptly after final note without collecting his pay. This happened after the BL tried to get his attention to cut his solo short during the final number and couldn't, so he just signaled the drummer and I to go to the break.

Did the band member quit? Will he be there next Fri/Sat or will the BL be texting asking for sub recommendations?

Well... Here's what *I* did in response to it all.

Nothing.

Yep. I went home to bed, got up, did some chores, ate some lunch, will prolly watch game 3 of the Rays/Rangers series.

As you can tell, I'm deeply disturbed. Does anyone have any useful recommendations I can ignore?

'Cause if the Rangers don't sweep the Rays and make some significant progress in eliminating their 7 game deficit in the AL west race before the all star break, they may have a rough road ahead for the season's second half.
Click to expand...

I paid a lot to keep Adolis Garcia on my fantasy baseball team this season.

I'd appreciate it if you'd get him hitting better.

Nice move on the band, too...
 
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#6
I take it that this (probably now former) bandmate is just a "co-worker" to you rather than a friend, and that you have a BL whose responsibility it is to deal with the situation, so doing nothing seems appropriate: It's not your business except insofar as it potentially affects your upcoming gigs. Personally, I would probably contact BL to find out what happened just to satisfy my curiosity -- or at least to find out what might be in store for you next weekend. Otherwise it sounds like you have about as much control over the situation as you do over the outcome of the baseball game.
 
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#7
Five or Six said:
I'd say it's up to the BL to get in order and communicate whats going on. Unless told otherwise, it should be business as usual. Either one of 3 things. Next gig gets canceled, this "leaver" returns or, you have a sub. I'd have a come to Jesus meeting with this guy in person. Not by text or phone, in person.
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Gig won't be cancelled. Otherwise if I wasn't clear in my snarky OP, Not my circus, not my monkeys.

Meanwhile, bottom of the 2nd; Rays 0, Rangers 1.
 
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#10
Lobster11 said:
I take it that this (probably now former) bandmate is just a "co-worker" to you rather than a friend, and that you have a BL whose responsibility it is to deal with the situation, so doing nothing seems appropriate: It's not your business except insofar as it potentially affects your upcoming gigs. Personally, I would probably contact BL to find out what happened just to satisfy my curiosity -- or at least to find out what might be in store for you next weekend. Otherwise it sounds like you have about as much control over the situation as you do over the outcome of the baseball game.
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Pretty much.

This is a steady gig for me and in every instance in the past, band member schedule conflicts have been dealt with by the BL getting a sub; Sometimes he reaches out for recommendations, sometimes I just show up and find out who's on the roster tonight.

Yeah/no to me contacting the BL; He's got enough nonsense to deal with without having to read me in on everything. I'll just show up next Fri and see who's there.

Besides, one of the aspects I love about being essentially a regular contract employee is I don't have to deal with this kind of thing. I simply suit up, show up, sit down, and shut up.

To be clear, it's a goof-post thread in response to those created with such drama and no resolution. No drama in my head today, only my nasty-sense-of-humor character flaw.
 
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#13
Pocket Dave said:
Pretty much.

This is a steady gig for me and in every instance in the past, band member schedule conflicts have been dealt with by the BL getting a sub; Sometimes he reaches out for recommendations, sometimes I just show up and find out who's on the roster tonight.

Yeah/no to me contacting the BL; He's got enough nonsense to deal with without having to read me in on everything. I'll just show up next Fri and see who's there.

Besides, one of the aspects I love about being essentially a regular contract employee is I don't have to deal with this kind of thing. I simply suit up, show up, sit down, and shut up.

To be clear, it's a goof-post thread in response to those created with such drama and no resolution. No drama in my head today, only my nasty-sense-of-humor character flaw.
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Admittedly, I was concerned at first, since I saw "Help", but apparently you don't actually need any help :bassist:
 
#16
If you're in a band long enough, drama and bitchy episodes are inevitable because familiarity breeds contempt, whether you are "friends" or "associates". BL is responsible.. he's the boss, employer and ruler. If you can stand the drama and bad behaviors, and it doesn't affect your music and pleasure, you're a better man than me. Otherwise just take the high road... show up, do your personal best, get paid and don't let other people's s..t get on you.
 
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#18
eddybuzzard said:
Admittedly, I was concerned at first, since I saw "Help", but apparently you don't actually need any help :bassist:
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Oh, make no mistake; I need help.

Just not the kind you'd normally find around here.
instrumentlevel said:
New philosophical question: is the bass player the rodeo clown of the musical world, regularly rescuing other musicians from doom? :smug:

I’ll see myself out…
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Geez, I hope not. Unless someone specifically asks for help, my general rule is to stay off the dance floor when the bulls start dancing.
 
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#19
Your response to this situation was way too chill and enlightened. There needs to be more angst, gnashing of teeth, and wringing of hands. Only then will the Talkbass oracles appear to provide the necessary guidance and wisdom. Please resubmit your post when you are ready to provide the necessary overreaction and hyperbole.
 
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#20
Kansas said:
If you're in a band long enough, drama and bitchy episodes are inevitable because familiarity breeds contempt, whether you are "friends" or "associates". BL is responsible.. he's the boss, employer and ruler. If you can stand the drama and bad behaviors, and it doesn't affect your music and pleasure, you're a better man than me. Otherwise just take the high road... show up, do your personal best, get paid and don't let other people's s..t get on you.
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Dunno about the better-man or high-road stuff; 'Just trying to keep my side of the street clean and have some faith. YMMV.
 
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