Band Drama The Other Night - Help

[Low End Scum]

Yep. Pretty much.

In the past I would've done the same thing, picking up after multiple incessant calls in succession, "There's a reason I'm not picking up" <click>.

These days, I just turn off the ring notification and let the tortured soul go to town. I'll call him back later. "Oh man, my phone was in my gig bag during practice" or some such.

Yeah. Maybe a bit passive aggressive, but there's no rule that says I have to attend every argument invitation I receive. Nor is there a rule that says I have to participate in someone else's freak out.

Yeah these days I just let it go. In this case, he's a very....type A personality, shall we say. Needed a bit of confrontation cause I'd also left him with the silent phone before. Now that I'm thinking more on it though, I think he even called my singer/guitarist which is where I jumped onto my phone to sort out Mr Pushy.

 

[Pocket Dave]

Yeah these days I just let it go. In this case, he's a very....type A personality, shall we say. Needed a bit of confrontation cause I'd also left him with the silent phone before. Now that I'm thinking more on it though, I think he even called my singer/guitarist which is where I jumped onto my phone to sort out Mr Pushy.

Some of us don't respond well to that kind of nonsense. I find it helpful to know that however I may be allowing his behavior to influence my attitude, I can always choose not to; He, on the other hand, probably doesn't have an off switch for his own self-induced misery.

Falls under the unfortunate category of sucks-to-be-him.

 

[Dincrest]

I was going to say “not my rodeo, not my clowns,” but your circus version is probably nicer…

I too am 100% stealing this phrase. I love using sayings that are a little different from the norms where I live.

Either that or I'll adopt "Not my circus, not my clowns" instead of saying "not my circus, not my monkeys" since the word monkey still has derogatory connotations in many places.

 

[pepj]

The BL could always want you to buy...a P Bass..

 

[FrodeVikie]

The BL could always want you to buy...a P Bass..

Huh!

I didn't real all 2000 replies to this dilemma, but your post rekindled a memory of mine...

I was hired for several engagements with a very talented Guitarist, Singer, Composer, all originals, and he insisted on the bass parts being note-for note.
That's OK.

I brought (2) basses for the gigs, my P-Bass and a Tobias that I REALLY liked, active with Barts, totally excellent.

"Use the P-Bass" he insisted.

No problem, Boss. (His gig, his music, his call.)

 

[LG TPAFL]

So this happened the other night - a band member left abruptly after final note without collecting his pay. This happened after the BL tried to get his attention to cut his solo short during the final number and couldn't, so he just signaled the drummer and I to go to the break.

Did the band member quit? Will he be there next Fri/Sat or will the BL be texting asking for sub recommendations?

Well... Here's what *I* did in response to it all.

Nothing.

Yep. I went home to bed, got up, did some chores, ate some lunch, will prolly watch game 3 of the Rays/Rangers series.

As you can tell, I'm deeply disturbed. Does anyone have any useful recommendations I can ignore?

'Cause if the Rangers don't sweep the Rays and make some significant progress in eliminating their 7 game deficit in the AL west race before the all star break, they may have a rough road ahead for the season's second half.

Well I see the Rays took game game 4 and then took 2 of 3 from the Yankees.....Go Rays! I've never been in a band so can't help with that deeply disturbing drama. But I do see the Rangers are now down to 5 back which should be a relief.

 

[pepj]

Huh!

I didn't real all 2000 replies to this dilemma, but your post rekindled a memory of mine...

I was hired for several engagements with a very talented Guitarist, Singer, Composer, all originals, and he insisted on the bass parts being note-for note.
That's OK.

I brought (2) basses for the gigs, my P-Bass and a Tobias that I REALLY liked, active with Barts, totally excellent.

"Use the P-Bass" he insisted.

No problem, Boss. (His gig, his music, his call.)

I'm undecided about these demands. At the moment, they dominate everything at the expense of fun.
I'm not buying the P Bass, might consider the right PJ, but I might bail on the gigs first.

At first, I laughed how intense about it all he was coming across as...now I'm wondering how serious he is, as opposed to 'joking'..and that ain't gonna work.

 

[51PRI]

I'm undecided about these demands. At the moment, they dominate everything at the expense of fun.
I'm not buying the P Bass, might consider the right PJ, but I might bail on the gigs first.

At first, I laughed how intense about it all he was coming across as...now I'm wondering how serious he is, as opposed to 'joking'..and that ain't gonna work.

You'll never go wrong owning a P-Bass.

 

[FrodeVikie]

You'll never go wrong owning a P-Bass.

Well, that was my feeling then too. I loved playing the Tobias, but i get what he was going for with a Precision.
His music had elements of Blues/Funk/ R&B, & some real Dub reggae too.

All of those come under the P-bass umbrella for sure. (P.S.- I also was using a TUBE amp!! )

 

[pepj]

Takes no account into the way I play and want to play.
I dont mind the suggestion, but reserve the right to politely decline.
Thats apart from the arrogance of someone thinking they can spend my money....

 

[FrodeVikie]

Takes no account into the way I play and want to play.
I dont mind the suggestion, but reserve the right to politely decline.
Thats apart from the arrogance of someone thinking they can spend my money....

MAYBE if I had FORCED the issue, he might have reneged, if I were to say for example:
"Hey, I'm the Bassist, and this axe gives ME the flavor that I hear for the parts."

Then again, he could have in the words of a famous man have said: "You're FIRED!"

Which, given the egos of many "semi-star'" type Headliners who have had some measurable success, he may well have done.
For example, he was offered an opportunity to perform at events and concerts financed by Coca-Cola, and refused to do some of what the Powers-that be "requested". They both mutually passed on each other, and I can guarantee there were 100's of performers at the ready to do whatever they (Coke) wanted.

Thing was:- My hire was a very good gig, the $$ and more so the Music was tight with me.
No doubt he could have easily found another Bass player for the gigs- With a Precision. It' not like they are rare in "the field".
That and the fact that I love the P-Bass as well, nothing like it. Mine is a 1969, with a narrow neck, maple board. Awesome tone.

Reminds me of the so-called demands of Engineers and producers. Mostly they don't PLAY bass, but hear what they consider a classic tone from the P-Bass, and they want that sound NOW.

As an experienced snobbish gear-head player with some really great basses, I know I can get great bottom from any number of my excellent basses, but sometimes, with a Precision, its good to get down to basics

 

[51PRI]

Takes no account into the way I play and want to play.
I dont mind the suggestion, but reserve the right to politely decline.
Thats apart from the arrogance of someone thinking they can spend my money....

Unless one is in a fully democratic band, one can be faced with having to keep the BL happy, or quit.

I was in a country band once...I was the guitarist. The bass player played an old P-Bass but he had aspirations. He wanted a Ric, and got one. He wondered to me if the BL would like the sound of it. I suggested to him that, the first time he used the Ric, to put it on the neck pickup and turn the tone control all the way off so the BL would like the sound initially. Then, he could roll in the other pickup and more highs. He didn't do that, though...he went full Ric. The BL hated the Ric tone and the bass player never played the Ric again.

 

[Pocket Dave]

Back to my OP - a new/old wrinkle surfaced:

First game back from the All Star break, Rangers pitcher Nathan Eovaldi got crushed by 6 Orioles runs - 2 2-run homers in the 1st - while Rangers offense only coughed up 1.

Damn.

 

[pepj]

Unless one is in a fully democratic band, one can be faced with having to keep the BL happy, or quit.

Well, I've now seen 3 guys the BL has used so I'm not concerned. But yep, I can always leave but I think he will be shooting himself in the foot..

 

[HardNHeavy]

Ahhh yes, showing up to a gig a seeing a sub. Good times indeed. Happened last night with the keyboard player at a wedding gig. But that's none of my business with this band. I show up, play, get paid and split. It's kind of nice. Internally, I question many things the bandleader does, but oh well.

Show up, play the gig and split...Words to truly live by...Just joined a showband/classic rock covers thing..They got my name from a friend. Now they asked for input from me in song choices, not one of them chosen or considered even tho they fit their niche of 50's to 90's hits. Drummer, LV, Guitar were already together very briefly before me being auditioned..BL lead vox is a real go getter for gigs/contacts social media etc. Buying the best gear but dont know how to use it, but luckily they are decent players/singers which they all do except me...Maybe that's it..cuz i dont sing..hmm..But like you i question some of their "green behind the ears" decisions..We haven't even played a gig yet, just getting our 40+ songlist together..time will tell...and all coincides a bit with OP's post.....I need to not take things too personally with this particular band and just do my part, just ironic i saw your post first...must be this wonky new forum layout..

 

[FrodeVikie]

Unless one is in a fully democratic band, one can be faced with having to keep the BL happy, or quit.

I was in a country band once...I was the guitarist. The bass player played an old P-Bass but he had aspirations. He wanted a Ric, and got one. He wondered to me if the BL would like the sound of it. I suggested to him that, the first time he used the Ric, to put it on the neck pickup and turn the tone control all the way off so the BL would like the sound initially. Then, he could roll in the other pickup and more highs. He didn't do that, though...he went full Ric. The BL hated the Ric tone and the bass player never played the Ric again.

This- (bold/italics).

The BL is the BL because he (or she) is the BL. I was offered about 3 shows a week for 2 1/2 months, travel/food/per diem included, also a road crew of 2 and a very nice comfortable van along with a few fly dates. $650 per show, which to me was a princely sum; still is.
Got to see many awesome States- The SOUTH- (Georgia, Alabama, South Carolina, Louisiana) man, is that s Soulful 'hood! (I'm a Cali boy) also parts of the Southwest and more.

So- If Mr. BL says "Play your P-Bass, that' what I like to hear!"

I say" "How High?" so to speak.

 

[Pocket Dave]

Seriously, I started this thread as a tongue-in-cheek goof on band drama threads. In my main band I check my gig calendar, suit up, show up, STFU and get paid. No rehearsals, band meetings or drama that affects me.

Same thing goes for sub and pickup gigs - I get a setlist, a Youtube or Spotify link and take some time to prepare.

This is kind of common; In my circles, most stay busy enough to avoid band drama.

 

[pepj]

Of late, I'm more about the fun. Are the guys cool, no a- holes, check.
Is the band top? check.
Are the gigs comfortable .ie, no dives, crammers, check.
Oh yeah, pay me decent, but for my situation, less important. The money does not come first because I'm hating if the first 3 don't apply.

Having said that..im cool if you want to pay me double too..

 

[FrodeVikie]

Of late, I'm more about the fun. Are the guys cool, no a- holes, check.
Is the band top? check.
Are the gigs comfortable .ie, no dives, crammers, check.
Oh yeah, pay me decent, but for my situation, less important. The money does not come first because I'm hating if the first 3 don't apply.

Having said that..im cool if you want to pay me double too..

I hear you; I agree.

Except:
IME the "Real World" when you are out there in the quest of making money in the music biz- (as a bassist)-You must compromise, or else you might find yourself in the bedroom with your gear, playing along to tracks- (Of which I see many videos of here, so...)
Nothing wrong with that. I do it.

I have personally taken it down quite a few notches in the last few years. I would not travel more than an overnight or two as the road gets pretty toasted after awhile even with better gigs.

So: many opportunities to play may be in less-than-perfect venues with less than-perfect fellow players, but to me part of being a real Professional is being able to deal with, even enhance, the "experience". Hey-You're the Bass Player, and if YOU don't sound good- fawgeddabout it, the Project won't either.

My benchmark was working with a Drummer- The BEST I've ever played with; his feet alone worked the groove so well, and he could accent to perfection.

He had worked with many fine players of celebrity status.

But-he was batsh*** CRAZY- I loved the guy he was so out there. Reminded me of being in "Cuckoo's Nest".

We were given dinner at a very nice venue in Sedona AZ, with a killer menu featuring very fine food-

He wanted a cheeseburger. That's cool, so are cheeseburgers.
(I had the petit filet and rock shrimp my own self).

 

[Pocket Dave]

I hear you; I agree.

Except:
IME the "Real World" when you are out there in the quest of making money in the music biz- (as a bassist)-You must compromise, or else you might find yourself in the bedroom with your gear, playing along to tracks- (Of which I see many videos of here, so...)
Nothing wrong with that. I do it.

I have personally taken it down quite a few notches in the last few years. I would not travel more than an overnight or two as the road gets pretty toasted after awhile even with better gigs.

So: many opportunities to play may be in less-than-perfect venues with less than-perfect fellow players, but to me part of being a real Professional is being able to deal with, even enhance, the "experience". Hey-You're the Bass Player, and if YOU don't sound good- fawgeddabout it, the Project won't either.

My benchmark was working with a Drummer- The BEST I've ever played with; his feet alone worked the groove so well, and he could accent to perfection.

He had worked with many fine players of celebrity status.

But-he was batsh*** CRAZY- I loved the guy he was so out there. Reminded me of being in "Cuckoo's Nest".

We were given dinner at a very nice venue in Sedona AZ, with a killer menu featuring very fine food-

He wanted a cheeseburger. That's cool, so are cheeseburgers.
(I had the petit filet and rock shrimp my own self).

You put my thoughts to words, even down to the willingness to work the occasional dive and road gig as part and parcel of the other easier/better gigs.

Though I won't go out on anything extended at my age - we've got 3-nighter coming up 7 hours away in Branson, pretty much my limit.

BTW, I've worked with my share of awesome drummers, some who've played with top names. Some were simply flawed humans like the rest of us; Some struggled with particularly nasty personal demons. We lost one to his demons during covid - I loved the guy, but no one was going to change the road he was on.

For me, a lot of this has been an exercise in acceptance. Otherwise I can make myself pretty miserable expecting everything to go the way I think it should.