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For the sake of TB you should have at least written a dramatic alternate ending! 
Glad it worked out.
speaking of drama -i was relaxing and preparing for our gig Saturday night when an old high school friend (i dont even really talk to him now) messages me and is like "I had to call the venue club owner where you are playing tonight...call me".
I was like ***?!! My stress level went to 8! I called him and he goes through this story of how he had to call the owner because he thinks his ex who he constantly has crazy drama with all over Facebook may come to our gig and there might be trouble.(Who the hell ever does stuff like this??!) I told him to leave myself and my band out of his drama and hung up!
people!
Glad it worked out.
speaking of drama -i was relaxing and preparing for our gig Saturday night when an old high school friend (i dont even really talk to him now) messages me and is like "I had to call the venue club owner where you are playing tonight...call me".
I was like ***?!! My stress level went to 8! I called him and he goes through this story of how he had to call the owner because he thinks his ex who he constantly has crazy drama with all over Facebook may come to our gig and there might be trouble.(Who the hell ever does stuff like this??!) I told him to leave myself and my band out of his drama and hung up!
people!
After reading this thread and the current state of your arrangement I think you still need to take action. I would definitely still have a band meeting but focus more on what went right at the last gig and why it went so well. Get everybody on board and in agreement that the last gig is a standard that needs to be upheld going forward. It's a good opportunity iron out the kinks. Even though he might be troublesome at times, the fact that you've been playing with this guy for as long as you have means there is probably a good reason for it.
I actually considered that haha, since after Saturday night I felt a little sheepish about starting this thread.
How wrong I was.
So, like I said, after the gig Saturday I told M2 and M4 that I was good to let this all drop and soldier on, with the caveat that I was done with family drama and still needed M1 to know that. I thought we all were in agreement although it was not specifically stated.
Monday, it all started up again. The two of them texting me that something had to happen. I insisted I was not going to go behind M1's back. They said ok, but something has to happen. So I said let's call a band meeting. They said "call it." I thought, hey, I didn't bring all this up, why should it fall to me to call the meeting? But realizing I wanted to air my concern over the family drama, I agreed and did just that.
We met and had nice small talk for a while. M1 was flat and unhumorous but that's how he's been for a few months. Finally, seemingly aware that something like this was brewing, he said "well...?" and so I started with @EatS1stBassist 's line "Are we not men" LOL (I loved that line). Well, unfortunately, no, we were not all men. As soon as he knew what was coming, he went all volcanic defensive-- voice raising eye bulging vein popping drama. After several minutes of trying to reason with him, and M2 also getting heated, he just said "see ya, I quit" and walked out. From what we've seen since, this is a done deal and the bridge is in smoldering ruins.
M2 was upset with me that we were left in the lurch because I insisted on the meeting, but I told him I was not going to play for 6-8 weeks knowing he was being secretly replaced. In hindsight, considering his extremely juvenile reaction, maybe I should have kept quiet and went along with the secret auditions.
So now we're scrambling trying to get a replacement and hold onto the gigs we have booked. The auditions that were scheduled this week fell through but we have some coming up now. We put an announcement about his departure on FB and surprisingly received all positive reactions (except from M1's family, till they were blocked) so I think in the long run this will be a good thing. Some fans that have been noticeably absent recently posted their approval.
So there you have it. We're moving on away from the drama, and looking forward to better things. Thanks again for all your advice and support.
If you're looking for a new band member, maybe someone from M1's family can fill the empty chair. They know all the songs, right?
A blow-up from M1 and kin was bound to happen no matter how you did it. You took the highest road possible under the circumstances. Your band will be better off in the long run.
After you find a replacement and start playing gigs without the drama, you will think to yourselves, "Why didn't we do this sooner?"
Also, you can inform any venues where you are on probation that the situation has been rectified.
Hopefully, you're not on "double secret" probation.
Also, you can inform any venues where you are on probation that the situation has been rectified.
Hopefully, you're not on "double secret" probation.
I see more trouble from the M1 clan coming your way.
Honestly this was a better outcome than if you all had done the secret auditions. M1 needed immediate attention and the meeting gave him the direct feedback that was necessary. Having to get subs onboard in short notice is much better than having what sounds like a total man baby holding the spot. I'd say good riddance to M1 and i think you were giving him too much respect during this whole process, but of course these things are tricky.
They don't fill chairs, they throw them.
M2 Needs to grow up. I'm sure the whole scene was uncomfortable for everybody - nobody wants to have to have that talk. But just because going behind a guys back might be more comfortable doesn't make it right. (You know this.) And I'm with you - it's even more uncomfortable having to rehearse with a guy you know may not be there next week
Ask M2 if that's how he'd like to be treated if the band was considering replacing him.
And assuming you would have had the decency to fire M1 in person once you had a replacement, I have to imagine the drama would have been much worse if he found you were auditioning behind his back.
Too bad it had to happen, but you did this the right way.
Hi everyone,
Logged in just to check out the classifieds and do some DB research, thought I should update this thread.
Yes this exact thing happened. We're all set, got a permanent replacement in no time flat, better than M1 and ZERO drama. And yes we have patched things up at venues where the drama happened. All is well.
We did encounter much social media drama from M1 clan, but it died down after a few weeks. Never had any on-site issues, though they did show up to one festival gig and hung around the edges. We lost around 150 FB likes but picked up as many from the new guy.
So we're cruising full speed ahead and never happier. Thanks again to everyone for your input and encouragement.
Now, about taking up the DB......
Logged in just to check out the classifieds and do some DB research, thought I should update this thread.
Yes this exact thing happened. We're all set, got a permanent replacement in no time flat, better than M1 and ZERO drama. And yes we have patched things up at venues where the drama happened. All is well.
We did encounter much social media drama from M1 clan, but it died down after a few weeks. Never had any on-site issues, though they did show up to one festival gig and hung around the edges. We lost around 150 FB likes but picked up as many from the new guy.
So we're cruising full speed ahead and never happier. Thanks again to everyone for your input and encouragement.
Now, about taking up the DB......
