Remember, when you assist, you make an ass out of I and (S)ome (T)hing.
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Band Member inviting other bass player
- Thread starter chaak
- Start date
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- Tags
- band band members bass player metal
I would rage quit anyway. It's the TB way!
yeah, and in what parallel dimension does that mean "he will bring beer"?
OK so problem solved, with beer! What I was going to chime in with is this:
You know this guy pretty well, childhood friends and band mates. Something about what he said got your back up a bit. Something didn’t sit right with you. You know him well enough to sense that this isn’t right. So you came in here for a second opinion (and third and fourth). The trouble with that is that we don’t know him. We didn’t hear the original conversation (Mehrabian’s Rule applies). So all we have to go on is your written words and speculation against our own experiences.
Don’t listen to us!
Thankfully you did the right thing.
Have a good session and enjoy the beers!
You know this guy pretty well, childhood friends and band mates. Something about what he said got your back up a bit. Something didn’t sit right with you. You know him well enough to sense that this isn’t right. So you came in here for a second opinion (and third and fourth). The trouble with that is that we don’t know him. We didn’t hear the original conversation (Mehrabian’s Rule applies). So all we have to go on is your written words and speculation against our own experiences.
Don’t listen to us!
Thankfully you did the right thing.
Have a good session and enjoy the beers!
maybe you could think of it as an "invitation' to reframe what occurs as childlike insecurities.
Everyone sees the world through the eyes of their own experiences. Maybe you have not been mistreated in your music carrier. That's a good thing. Or you got to play in the park and haven't ventured into the jungle. A year or two in LA will change that. Note: I have nothing against LA. But it's not Disney Land. Disney Land just happens to be there.
sure. i've been at the game long enough to have some 'horror stories'. but i did not read the OP's situation as one of those. i think my 'presentation', across several posts, caused some discomfort and i would be insensitive not to recognize that. but like many (most?), i battle my own childlike insecurities from time to time. i've had to 'buck up'. it's not always the first impulse, but sometimes it's the most adult thing i can do, i.e., spare others from my impulsive anxiety/paranoia.
sharing anxiety/frustration/anger here (TB) is optional. so are our responses and opinions. but we're all sharing something when we opine, here. i shared a POV which has been helpful to me. i recognize that it may not be particularly helpful to some/all others.
I don't know what these other people are saying but this is totally unacceptable unless you are in a business situation where money is involved and that money ( record company) wants to replace you for the track then you might have to swallow your pride in order to keep your gig. Otherwise the the guitar player is way out of line.
sure. i've been at the game long enough to have some 'horror stories'. but i did not read the OP's situation as one of those. i think my 'presentation', across several posts, caused some discomfort and i would be insensitive not to recognize that. but like many (most?), i battle my own childlike insecurities from time to time. i've had to 'buck up'. it's not always the first impulse, but sometimes it's the most adult thing i can do, i.e., spare others from my impulsive anxiety/paranoia.
sharing anxiety/frustration/anger here (TB) is optional. so are our responses and opinions. but we're all sharing something when we opine, here. i shared a POV which has been helpful to me. i recognize that it may not be particularly helpful to some/all others.
Well, reading the OP's message brings back memories and I guess I'm reacting to that as much as the OP's message itself. I agree now that I've thought about it some more that maintaining a neutral demeanor is possible even when someone is pulling some #$%$#, and that if the outcome is getting booted out of a band, for example, one could still be neutral about it and just vacate the situation. I have just found that not responding in a disagreeable way when somebody sticks it to me trains the perpetrator to escalate the abuse, either against me or against others. That's probably self-righteous of me, but that's the way I am I guess.
Now that the OP has essentially diffused this as a non-issue...
Would some of you all seriously just stand there, shaking your head back and forth silently if the dude asked to play your rig? I can see denying a stranger at a gig, but someone hanging out with you at your rehearsal space would make you look like a D. Even with the additional details from the OP, this could still occur at their rehearsal. I've let near strangers try playing my upright bass, but of course i talked with them first to make sure they actually played and weren't just gonna totally drop the thing. I'm even less protective of my electric bass. Pretty much anyone can fiddle with that as long at they don't get too slap happy and break one of my strings.
Would some of you all seriously just stand there, shaking your head back and forth silently if the dude asked to play your rig? I can see denying a stranger at a gig, but someone hanging out with you at your rehearsal space would make you look like a D. Even with the additional details from the OP, this could still occur at their rehearsal. I've let near strangers try playing my upright bass, but of course i talked with them first to make sure they actually played and weren't just gonna totally drop the thing. I'm even less protective of my electric bass. Pretty much anyone can fiddle with that as long at they don't get too slap happy and break one of my strings.
I don't have a problem with players using my gear as long as they're reasonably experienced. I have an upright player here every week who uses my rig for my husband's rehearsal, and I'd be willing to backline a showcase if someone asked me. There's not much you could do to my gear unless you really crank the hell out of it, I guess, but I can't see any situation here at home where that would happen, and a backline situation means a DI to FOH, so that's not a problem there, either. When I was playing my Sterling, I was picky about my settings but these days it's not that hard to dial in what I want to hear.
You mean we don't get to cop giant resentments against the guitar player (we don't even know) reminiscent of past evils perpetrated upon us in former bands, all the while basking in a blinding fit of self righteous indignation? Shoot.
Oh well, it was good while it lasted. I got off on it anyway.
They are planning to get you drunk, put you behind the wheel of a Studebaker, and send it over a cliff.
