Bass confessions - episode π

[Swampish]

Cover band between semesters at college. Played one party before it was over and time to go back to school. We're cranking through Purple Haze and I decide, hey, if Hendrix can do it, I can do it...and start playing the bass with my teeth. Unfortunately an accident while in the Navy had left me with a half "bondo" front tooth. The bondo broke about three notes in. Played the rest of the gig looking like a refugee from the nearest Walmart.
Then there's the time we were debuting a song I wrote...and I blanked on the words...that I wrote....

Classic!

 

[Swampish]

Yep, Everybody Dance, by Chic!
First song, big dance crowd. Bass, me, starts the tune loud and proud. Guitar and keys come in and I say to myself, "these guys are both off". Then the other voice in my head says, "they can't both be off"... Ugh, it was me! The audience didn't know, didn't care. They just wanted to get down.

When it's a choice between guitar or bass being out, it's inevitably almost always guitar, but keys usually have the final word!

 

[Swampish]

I have 2...

1) Huge outdoor festival... 100 degrees on stage, so staying in tune was iffy to begin with... We all used backline which included a tuner none of us were used to, and it was calibrated differently for every one of us!

Trouble is, we didn't know it until the first chord of the first song! It was supposed to be a long slow build-up to an epic huge chord...

Build-up, anticipation... WHANNNGGG!!! Train wreck. Sounded like a kindergarten music class.


2) Like a good (read: cheap!) active bass owner, I always unplug my bass between sets to preserve battery life...

Live TV gig, AM morning show... No sound check. Come 0730, plug in and go.

After the song is over, host talks to the band, builds us up for the next song in an hour. Host throws it to the "on location" guy. So far, so good...

So, per usual, I reach down and unplug my bass. Have you ever heard the sound of an electric instrument being unplugged from a live board? Imagine that, but on live television where the sound reverberates through the whole studio, as well as through the live feed. It sounded like 50 tons of TNT going off...

Ya know, I coulda remained anonymous if the host hadn't pointed it out on the air...

Really considerate of him...sounds like a Ben Mulroney move.

 

[Swampish]

Ok, so lemme see... most recently all the big clams were others, but I'll start with one I remember perpetrating.

We're playing Crazy Fingers, doing our shtick and sending it up as a reggae tune. I love the arrangement actually. Played the song dozens of times. We get to the first chorus and... I have a total space brain fart. I get the first chord right but tentatively search for the other chords. There are actually quite a few other chords in the chorus of this song. The other guys, instead of playing louder, get quieter and look at me. I'm like this ain't a freaking jazz moment, I'm brain farting here, someone play the right thing loud! Oh well, telepathy failed me yet again on that request. *Each subsequent chorus* of that performance is a disastrous repeat of the first. True ignominy. I was a bit crestfallen after that one. But hey, no one died, right?

Last gig, our lead singer leaves out a verse and heads to the first vocal bridge in Sugar Magnolia, the one that leads to the first grand pause. We're all looking around, playing the verse pattern, realizing *something is wrong*. She's a pro, realizes, looks at us, and starts the penultimate verse - deftly skipped both the missed verse and the breakdown, and no one seemed to notice.

Then the keyboard player starts an original song of his, which starts with a brief unison intro, and then he plays a little pick up riff and we all come in together at the top. Only he *completely* clams out on his solo pickup riff to the point where we don't know exactly where he intends "1" to be. The drummer and I fumble confusedly through a bar or so. Then our BL/guitarist/singer employs a plan he'd mentioned to us in rehearsal not a month before: if there's ever a train wreck, we stop and say over the mic we forgot it is someone's birthday - just make up a name - and quickly play a short rocking "Happy Birthday". Well it turned it really was the promoter's brother's birthday, so he stopped the song, announced the birthday, we played Happy Birthday for him, then started the keyboardist's song again and did it right.

The voice of experience there - that's a trick I'll use again one day, I am sure.

Love that recovery!

 

[KPopOnBass]

Playing a blues festival a year or two ago, we're about three verses into the catchy but repetitive groove of Give Me One Reason. My guitar players wanders over to jam on it together. Just as we're getting into synchronized swaying, thinking we're a veritable ZZ Top, Jr., my bass goes utterly silent. Repetitive groove -- DOA! After about thirty seconds of thin sound, dirty looks from the band, and frantic searching, I see a bright red LED on my pre-amp pedal. Aha... the guitar player had managed to step right on the mute switch. D'oh!

 

[ChrisWright]

Today was a special gig, one where with a packed house and one where we got exposure to loads of potential new fans and promotion. It was going to be great.

We had finished sound check and had a quick bite before the set was to begin. I was calm as ever; we'd played these songs tons of times and I know what I'm doing.

The morning DJ announced us for the crowd and we climbed on stage and strapped on our instruments. We had a big start planned with one of the most popular songs of our set; the guitar started the intro, the people cheered, and as he came around to the one I PLAYED THE WRONG STRING!!! It was a nice long note to be held for two measures so I made sure to pull the string really hard and, in this case, really emphasized the dissonance created by the note. Really set the bar low for the evening.

That's winning, baby.

Anyone else have any colossal screw up stories they don't mind telling .









The rest of the gig went great, BTW, it was just a world class opening clam.

Great story!! That’s happened to me too – not necessarily on the opening note of the opening song… but certainly in places where it stood out nonetheless. I’ve also had a bad note – not terrible – maybe the third, and then tried to work that into the next bar to try and make it look like I was intending to do it. Wasn’t really great either way.

 

[ChrisWright]

We were doing the bar gig thing, and launched into "Wonderful Tonight"; sounded like a train wreck. The guitarist was looking at me like "Which one of us is it?"

Turns out I was playing the intro in the wrong key. Once I corrected it, the whole song just 'clicked' into place and we carried on.

When the band sounds terrible and you can’t figure out why… It’s usually the bass player in the wrong key.

 

[McG]

I have another one.

About ten years ago. Outdoor stage at the county fair. Things were running a bit behind schedule so I hurriedly set up my rig. I'm last to do a line check. Sound guy asks for bass. Play a few notes. Nuthin'. Thinking instrument cable, swap it out. Still nuthin'. Sound guy says maybe it's his DI cable and swaps that out. Nope, that ain't it. Stage manager is getting upset because the schedule is falling further behind. Everyone is looking at me as we're losing set time. Then I saw it. I forgot to plug in the power cable.

 

[amper]

We had a big start planned with one of the most popular songs of our set; the guitar started the intro, the people cheered, and as he came around to the one I PLAYED THE WRONG STRING!!! It was a nice long note to be held for two measures so I made sure to pull the string really hard and, in this case, really emphasized the dissonance created by the note. Really set the bar low for the evening.

That's winning, baby.

Anyone else have any colossal screw up stories they don't mind telling .

The rest of the gig went great, BTW, it was just a world class opening clam.

I did the exact same thing at the biggest gig of my life: opening for The Paychedelic Furs at The House of Blues.

Reached for it, grabbed it, let it boom. Wrong string.

FML.

 

[barrenelly]

Many years ago I was playing the holiday camps seven nights a week in the summer months, we played for dancing and to accompany the cabarets. It was all sight-reading, no probs.

The cabarets used to change all the time and often there was no chance to rehearse with them, sometimes we didn't even meet them until they went on. No probs.

One night we were to back a singer called Sadie Nine. We played the first few numbers, no probs. I was thinking how good Sadie was – I hadn't heard of her previously. Next was a lovely song (can't now remember what it was, but one I had played before, knew slightly and liked very much). It started with Sadie to sing the first eight bars unaccompanied, and the next eight bars were a duet between the voice and the bass – my big moment!

Well, she sang the first eight bars and it was like an angel singing ... I was so completely blown away by the song and the way she interpreted it that I completely forgot I was the bass player ... and completely failed to come in at all. All the band were looking at me and wondering what had happened, the bandleader glaring ... I couldn't barge in so stayed silent and came in on bar 17 with the rest of the band.

I'll never know why Sadie never made it really big. A nice person as well as supremely talented and with that gorgeous voice. Last I heard she was an announcer on local radio in Southend (England).

A few years before that I had a big 8x12" 150w (uncommon in 1970) stereo stack built by Mike Sanders, a brilliant guy who mainly built PA systems for cinemas etc. Picked it up on the way to the gig. Only after I'd set it all up did I realize I'd left the mains lead back at his place... Fifteen miles away.

 

[Raulplaysbass]

Today was a special gig, one where with a packed house and one where we got exposure to loads of potential new fans and promotion. It was going to be great.

We had finished sound check and had a quick bite before the set was to begin. I was calm as ever; we'd played these songs tons of times and I know what I'm doing.

The morning DJ announced us for the crowd and we climbed on stage and strapped on our instruments. We had a big start planned with one of the most popular songs of our set; the guitar started the intro, the people cheered, and as he came around to the one I PLAYED THE WRONG STRING!!! It was a nice long note to be held for two measures so I made sure to pull the string really hard and, in this case, really emphasized the dissonance created by the note. Really set the bar low for the evening.

That's winning, baby.

Anyone else have any colossal screw up stories they don't mind telling .

The rest of the gig went great, BTW, it was just a world class opening clam.

Circa 1985, senior year in HS. Friday night @ The Troubadour in West Hollywood supporting the headliner “VVSI”. A BIG Night! 2nd gig of my life!! Gig actually went great, singer says goodnight, band exits stage left, except for me... I exit stage right... with my bass strapped on... realizing my mistake I continued on and sprint to the stairs leading to the balcony (why? who knows!) and at the top of the stairs I trip on my size 12’s to a packed balcony section... “Doh!” Bass goes flying, I’m trying to recover and land on a couple spilling their drinks! Laughter breaks out (except for the couple I landed on, they’re pissed!) I collect myself, apologize, someone hands me my bass and I make a beeline to the backstage door. It’s locked cause everyone else went to the opposite side. So I’m pounding away for what seemed like 30 minutes, finally the singer for VVSI opens the door & says “Dude! You ok, that was a nasty spill! You should have went the other way...”

 

[picker1974]

I was told to learn a song (don’t remember what it was, now) given the YouTube video BY THE BAND to listen to and learn for the performance. A few days later, showtime, and they were playing it in a different key. I picked up on it relatively quick but not before getting strange looks. Good thing is, we all laughed about it after. One other time, I botched the first couple notes on Witness, a bass driven Christian song. We had rehearsed it several times and I practiced at home without incident. Come showtime I guess I got a little nervous as it was my first prominent bass driven song that I was to play with the church band. Oh well. We shrugged it off and I’ve nailed it ever since. The good thing about messing up in church is that no one’s going to throw crap at you

 

[picker1974]

One other one was not a playing mistake but an errant tone knob. Sometimes a small child of a church member will wander on stage before the service starts. Apparently this little one turned up the tone knob on my Epiphone Accu Bass (p bass clone) all the way. I roll it back for the music we play to eliminate the “clank”. Well, I started playing and it was full on clank. I got some dirty looks on that one!

 

[web824]

Been

Yeah, played a college concert, opening for chart topping act, I lost my place in the middle of our opening song, which we had played a zillion times before.

It was Introduction by Chicago. Lots of parts, I just went blank for a bit. Got back on track. The rest of the gig went fine.

been there

 

[NZBassman]

a couple of years ago in my band we talked about learning another Bob Marley song... I'm not a huge Bob Marley / Reggae fan so wasn't exactly excited about it.
Singer texts and said can I learn 'One Love' so I did... then 2 days later asks if I can play it down a key (tone) because drummer (who was going to sing it) finds it easier to sing in a lower key.... so I relearnt it..... get to practice, only to find out the rest of the band had learnt a completely different Bob Marley Song (can't remember what one)...

So not only had I learnt the wrong Bob Marley song, but I learnt it in a different key!

we never did add another Bob Marley song to the set list....

 

[Krakmann]

Playing The Rocky Horror Show, I gloriously opened "Science Fiction Double Feature" half a tone down. Ho-ly-****.

It must be said, that season we had so many cast changes there were not two shows alike, with lots of tonality changes to accommodate the different actors for each given night. But that's just what I tell myself so I can sleep at night and keep the Monster at bay. Sometimes I even believe it.

Mátame camión.

 

[Krakmann]

Ah, another one. I had a very important audition. My only fretted-4 decides to stop emitting any sound two hours before. Speed-race to the luthier, but he can't look into it until the day after. SPEED-RACE to a friend's house to get a bass, SPEEEED-RACE to the audition, feeling very insecure not having my 24-fret bass, but a 21-fret one I've never played before.

The next day I get a call from the luthier. Just 2 euros for a fresh battery.

 

[bumperbass]

After I can make it through the 1st set (I hate 1st sets), my mistake level almost disappears.

I was told to learn a song (don’t remember what it was, now) given the YouTube video BY THE BAND to listen to and learn for the performance. A few days later, showtime, and they were playing it in a different key.

I have a new rule and that is:
I don't care if the youtube video or the CD version of the song is 'right on', as the BL says. "Just learn it in whatever key they play it in". Uh uh. YOU tell me what key to learn it in.
"Sorry man, but I didn't know they were already tuned down a whole step".

 

[bumperbass]

Made up for it with Highway Star and Smokin', but that one little segment spoiled the set for me.

Man, thanks for the memories. Now I have to listen to that song tonight. Probably play along with it.

 

[bumperbass]

I did the exact same thing at the biggest gig of my life: opening for The Paychedelic Furs at The House of Blues.

Reached for it, grabbed it, let it boom. Wrong string.

FML.

Still happens to me with my new (to me) 5'er. Irritates me to no end.