every sized venue I play at someone ie: club owner, BL (he actually wants me to turn my bass amp a GK1001 Mark11 into GK 115 neo (with G&L L-2000) away from him.
You can be as loud as you want when you're at home, practicing alone.
In public settings- where you are playing for pay- if your employer thinks you are too loud, then you are, in fact, too loud.
I started getting more gigs, and better paying gigs, when I figured out who the boss is. Try to accommodate the needs of the venue, not your personal preferences.

