Been Thinking About Death A lot Lately

[fingerguy]

No I am not looking for attention nor support from anyone, just wondering if others find themselves doing this. At 43 and with the crap going in my life I guess it's no surprise. I am not thinking suicide but rather those that I am banned from recently how would they react if I did and they never had a chance to reconcile with me or even speak to me before my final moments.

I know it's kind of dark, but tired of holding it in.

Again not looking for therapy, just curious if others find themselves in this place here and there.

 

[Linnin]

Entire books have been written on death, so you are not alone (plus you have a lot of reading to do). Fear is your enemy.

 

[fingerguy]

Entire books have been written on death, so you are not alone (plus you have a lot of reading to do). Fear is your enemy.

Actually I don't fear death, just curious how others will react after the fact. I am not a believer in much of anything, in fact my point of view the lights go off and that's that. We are a machine and nothing more. But like I said, I would just be really curious at least on specific person how that person would react.

 

[Gorn]

I think thinking about how others would react if you killed yourself is pretty common. Nothing wrong with that. I don't know. Go for a long walk. You're alive. You weren't around for 14 billion years before you were born and you won't be around after you're dead. You get a few decades to hang out in between so why not make the best of it.

 

[fingerguy]

I think thinking about how others would react if you killed yourself is pretty common. Nothing wrong with that. I don't know. Go for a long walk. You're alive. You weren't around for 14 billion years before you were born and you'll be gone after you're dead. You get a few decades to hang out in between so why not make the best of it.

Let me clarify, I am NOT SAYING suicide here people, just death in general. Whether I am in a car accient, heart-attack, whatever. Death is death. Not talking about self-inflicted death.

 

[Gorn]

Let me clarify, I am NOT SAYING suicide here people, just death in general. Whether I am in a car accient, heart-attack, whatever. Death is death. Not talking about self-inflicted death.

Oh. It sounded that way in the original post.

"I am not thinking suicide but rather those that I am banned from recently how would they react if I did "

You're not thinking it but how they'd react if you did.

 

[fingerguy]

Oh. It sounded that way in the original post.

"I am not thinking suicide but rather those that I am banned from recently how would they react if I did "

You're not thinking it but how they'd react if you did.

I know I sometimes mix my words up and not clear. I am curious of how they react when I am dead.

 

[hbarcat]

Four years ago I played poker with The Grim Reaper and won with a bluffed hand. Since then, I've had many occasions to think about death and it's made me rearrange my priorities in life.

I'll be 50 next year and I want to spend as much time as possible with my family and friends. My parents are still healthy in their 70's and I see them every week. I also make time to visit my adult daughter and 5 year old granddaughter several times a month even though it's a drive.

I don't want to be on my deathbed and regret that I neglected the important relationships in my life.

 

[GrantR]

The way I see it, it is normal. When we are young, we feel immortal. As we age, we see that this is not true, more of our friends pass on, people we listened to and watched from afar as influencers of our generation die off, and the reality that we will too sets in. As a husband and a father, I want to always be there to help, but it's hard to accept that at some point I won't.

A mid-life crisis is simply the desire to fulfill dreams of youth, so don't wait to long, and enjoy every day.

 

[Linnin]

We are a machine and nothing more.

Machines feel nothing. Pity you consider yourself a nonhuman.

 

[fingerguy]

Machines feel nothing. Pity you consider yourself a nonhuman.

I don't consider myself that. But like a machine when the lights are off that's that.

 

[Linnin]

But like a machine when the lights are off that's that.

Then you have nothing further to think about.

 

[fingerguy]

Then you have nothing further to think about.

Yeah either I am not being clear or you guys aren't getting it. It's all good.

 

[Linnin]

From Amazon: "4,728 results for "books on death and dying". As I said, you've got a lot of reading to do.

 

[Yango]

You're trying to go deep in a (generally) shallow forum.

Best to stick with questions like "how many distortion pedals do I really need?"

 

[DirtDog]

Best to stick with questions like "how many distortion pedals do I really need before I die?"

FTFY

 

[fingerguy]

You're trying to go deep in a (generally) shallow forum.

Best to stick with questions like "how many distortion pedals do I really need?"

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck
If a woodchuck could chuck wood?

As much wood as a woodchuck could chuck,
If a woodchuck could chuck wood.

 

[S-Bigbottom]

rather those that I am banned from recently how would they react if I did and they never had a chance to reconcile with me or even speak to me before my final moments.

Depending on the level of "Banned From" most may just say, "He is? Ok." and go about life. Others may say, "Finally." and go about their day, never thinking about it again unless someone else brought it up. For people on my "Banned List" that is mine, and I have noticed others attitudes with people that are not a positive in their life. I never think about those that have wronged me after they are gone.

If you were a positive in their life then you will get more than a passing thought.

 

[yodedude2]

sure. not often, though. when i consider my own mortality, my thoughts usually meander in different directions. but on occasion, i consider the impact of my death upon others.

 

[ThudThudThud]

The human reaction to death varies greatly from person to person.
It's said that any individual going through a grieving process experiences the 'five stages':
Anger, Denial/Isolation, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance.
However, in my experience this isn't always the case. Some might experience all five stages, but not in the same order - or for the same duration - as others might. You can also never tell how anyone will react, and when/if they will react. Some might take only a short time to reconcile their feelings. Others may never do so.

I have similar (but not identical) views to what you have described for yourself, and my own personal feelings about death are that it is as natural as birth. Having these ideas has allowed me to process deaths of friends, family, acquaintances, and even enemies with a very different outlook to those around me.
I can mourn the absence of somebody from my life, but I can also celebrate the time I had with them, and celebrate their life. They don't miss me as much as I miss them.

In the end (pun? What pun?) it's really not worth thinking about how others will react. Funerals are not for the dead, but for the living. It's up to them to work out their own regrets, guilt, sorrow, or even happiness. Don't carry that burden for them.

I'm turning 52 next week. I'm at that stage in my life, unfortunately, where the people I love will start dying with startling regularity. That seems morbid, but it's just reality. Many of my friends and family are many years older than I am. Luckily, we live in an age where people are living much longer, and being more youthful. I look around at the 50-60-70 year olds of today, and they are a far cry from the "old people" I grew up around.