Been Thinking About Death A lot Lately

[ArtechnikA]

At 43...

Right on time.
You're normal.
Expect it to come and go in waves through the coming years.
If it reminds you to keep your affairs in order and your priorities straight, it's not a bad thing.
Let it pass and you'll be fine.
Until the day you're not.
This is life.

 

[maxmaroon]

Interesting research came up today:
The mind still works after you're dead, say scientists

I've heard of this phenomenon for many years.

These types of anecdotes really get the mind moving...Would the mind just turn off when everything we can sense in this reality transforms from state to state? Would consciousness deteriorate gradually? Does the unconscious mind during sleep (and the lack of rational limits) hint at a part of us that may survive the experience and possibly transform in some way?
Unfortunately, complex discussions like these are best when face to face.

 

[ZenG]

Interesting research came up today:
The mind still works after you're dead, say scientists

Of course it does. Think you're going to get to nonchalantly lollygag around forever in a pine box after you die? Not a chance if you're buried next to your wife.

 

[Royal Marine]

I don't think about taking my life, but sometimes I think it would have been better simply not to be.
The problem with dying is not that you have to leave the party, but that the party is going to go on without you.
The only thing worse than that would be to be told that the party is going to go on forever and you can't leave.

 

[pacojas]

imagine how the woman portrayed in my avatar felt!

 

[blastoff99]

Depending on the level of "Banned From" most may just say, "He is? Ok." and go about life. Others may say, "Finally." and go about their day, never thinking about it again unless someone else brought it up. For people on my "Banned List" that is mine, and I have noticed others attitudes with people that are not a positive in their life. I never think about those that have wronged me after they are gone.

If you were a positive in their life then you will get more than a passing thought.

This is sound.

A couple of years ago I lost my entire context: job, church, friends, FOH and bass gig, marriage, hometown. I mean, it's GONE. And no, I didn't do anything to p anybody off. I got blacklisted hard. I don't know exactly what happened, because the people who put this process in motion never said.

But guess what? My life is a referendum on MY behavior, not theirs. And while it might be temporarily satisfying to 'win' in some big way so I can say 'f you' to everybody in my former life, that's not happening and it may not ever happen. On the flip side is what you're talking about - what if I died? - and wondering what their reactions would be.

Neither course is worthwhile. Framing anything in the context of a former life, with intent of getting some sort of reaction or even wondering what a reaction might be, is neither healthy nor productive. My life is mine to live, to do the best with I can. I get to own my attitudes, my reactions, and nobody else's. If someone is happy when I die, then that's the emotion that they have. Should they be happy? Not in my opinion, but people are entitled to their own emotions. Trying to figure them out - or play to them - won't be healthy for me.

Here's a quote from Jonathan Martin: 'The only way to lose yourself forever is to keep hanging on to the life you had before.' Good words.

 

[Tom Bomb]

Doesn't bear thinking about, really. I'd die if it ever happened to me.

"Get busy living or get busy dying."

 

[TOOL460002]

As a bipolar person with 2 back surgeries on lots of medications, yes, I absolutely have realized I'm better off not existing here. But not always. Been in a great mood lately. Getting outside and hanging out with friends and family at comedy or music or other fun stuff. It's all a circle. All one. You'll come out of this just fine. Give it thought and time and maybe medical help if it is really screwing up your life. Otherwise, good luck. I haven't been down in a long, long time, fortunately. You're for sure not alone. Feel free to PM.

 

[Henrywaffle]

See a therapist and try not to think about it

 

[MJ5150]

I can't think of anyone banned from my life, but there are moments when I wonder what will happen in the direct moments after I die.
Who will find out first? Who is going to ID my body if I go like that?
If I die in a hospital or under medical care, who is going to take my clothes and other personal belongings away?
I don't have any deep dark secrets I only told one person, so I'm not concerned if those will come out.
I don't have a dark/shady/criminal/promiscuous past, so no skeletons like that to come out of the closet.
What kind of stories will people tell about me?
Who will come to my funeral?

It certainly makes for interesting thoughts when I have quiet moments to myself.

-Mike

 

[bobba66]

I've been thinking about Killed-By-Death lately.

 

[Stumbo]

This is what helped me:

Liquid Solgar B12 with B Complex
Vitamin D3.All very inexpensive.

Get more sun.
Make sure your sleep is good: 7-8 hours a night.


Try it for 3 months.

 

[Chicory Blue]

I figure when we croak, no part of us is ever really gone. Our actions continue to reverberate infinitely troughout history like the beating of so many butterflies' wings, while our energy and matter are gradually redistributed.

With no regards to religion or spirituality, everything we ever were sticks around, as strong an influence on the cosmic playing field as it ever was, intermingling with everything else.

Our hopes and dreams and accomplishments intermingle with those of the ones we cared about alongside those we disagreed with, like ripples meeting in a pond, values forever part of an ever-building equation, changing the outcome to a degree that only becomes more significant as the rest of the equation becomes more complex.

Meanwhile, our bodies become parts of other things, some alive as well, alongside the pieces that used to be everyone else. Given infinite time, it's possible every last drop of you might find the rest and reconfigure into something new together, but surely we will spend much, much more time sharing space with the pieces of others, and those we loved will be with us, and the disagreements we had with those who did not prefer our company will be reconciled on the grounds that we are now flowers and rain together.

It'll be ok.

--^@

 

[DirtDog]

I can't think of anyone banned from my life, but there are moments when I wonder what will happen in the direct moments after I die.
Who will find out first? Who is going to ID my body if I go like that?
If I die in a hospital or under medical care, who is going to take my clothes and other personal belongings away?
I don't have any deep dark secrets I only told one person, so I'm not concerned if those will come out.
I don't have a dark/shady/criminal/promiscuous past, so no skeletons like that to come out of the closet.
What kind of stories will people tell about me?
Who will come to my funeral?

It certainly makes for interesting thoughts when I have quiet moments to myself.

-Mike

+1

I think this post is what the OP was looking for.

 

[DirtDog]

This is sound.

A couple of years ago I lost my entire context: job, church, friends, FOH and bass gig, marriage, hometown. I mean, it's GONE. And no, I didn't do anything to p anybody off. I got blacklisted hard. I don't know exactly what happened, because the people who put this process in motion never said.

But guess what? My life is a referendum on MY behavior, not theirs. And while it might be temporarily satisfying to 'win' in some big way so I can say 'f you' to everybody in my former life, that's not happening and it may not ever happen. On the flip side is what you're talking about - what if I died? - and wondering what their reactions would be.

Neither course is worthwhile. Framing anything in the context of a former life, with intent of getting some sort of reaction or even wondering what a reaction might be, is neither healthy nor productive. My life is mine to live, to do the best with I can. I get to own my attitudes, my reactions, and nobody else's. If someone is happy when I die, then that's the emotion that they have. Should they be happy? Not in my opinion, but people are entitled to their own emotions. Trying to figure them out - or play to them - won't be healthy for me.

Here's a quote from Jonathan Martin: 'The only way to lose yourself forever is to keep hanging on to the life you had before.' Good words.

That's harsh man!

But really, there was no unifying event that you are aware of that resulted in this upheaval?

Not looking to pry nor do I want details - more a function of understanding how an entire community could turn so completely on (presumably) one individual.

 

[58kites]

Don't wish to go into detail.

Seems the whole point of this thread was directed towards this situation you find yourself in.
If you don't want to talk about it, then why did you bring it up?
Your thread seems not about thinking about death a lot lately, but about you wondering what others will think if/when you died.....specifically, the other or others you say you don't want to go into detail about.
Sounds like you should work on changing/fixing whatever got you or them banned from seeing each other, or reconciling the fact that this event happened.
As adults, we all think about death from time to time, and many say things like "The minute I can't wipe myself is the day I don't want to live anymore" when we are 43 and have no idea what it is really like to be 70, 80, 90 years old.
My father is 95 and has seen a lot and done a lot, and he has said to me several times in the last 20 years that relationships/love/caring about others are the only really important things in this life.
If I were in your shoes, I would work really hard on being kind and gentle and caring and tolerant and forgiving and patient towards your fiance.
I would also work on finding a way to adjust your mindset where less things in your life annoy you, your thread about what annoys you was kind of funny, but also said a lot about how you live your daily life.
My apologies if anything I said offends you.

 

[fingerguy]

I have done many service calls at retirement locations. Compare to what I seen, your father is not part of the majority and that is a good thing.

Seems the whole point of this thread was directed towards this situation you find yourself in.
If you don't want to talk about it, then why did you bring it up?
Your thread seems not about thinking about death a lot lately, but about you wondering what others will think if/when you died.....specifically, the other or others you say you don't want to go into detail about.
Sounds like you should work on changing/fixing whatever got you or them banned from seeing each other, or reconciling the fact that this event happened.
As adults, we all think about death from time to time, and many say things like "The minute I can't wipe myself is the day I don't want to live anymore" when we are 43 and have no idea what it is really like to be 70, 80, 90 years old.
My father is 95 and has seen a lot and done a lot, and he has said to me several times in the last 20 years that relationships/love/caring about others are the only really important things in this life.
If I were in your shoes, I would work really hard on being kind and gentle and caring and tolerant and forgiving and patient towards your fiance.
I would also work on finding a way to adjust your mindset where less things in your life annoy you, your thread about what annoys you was kind of funny, but also said a lot about how you live your daily life.
My apologies if anything I said offends you.

 

[58kites]

I have done many service calls at retirement locations. Compare to what I seen, your father is not part of the majority and that is a good thing.

Not sure I know what you mean, have these old folks told you how they feel about love and relationships?
Do you think that the majority of them don't feel that relationships/love/caring about others were the important parts of their lives?
I also do service calls in retirement centers....more specifically hospice centers....I bring my gentle dog to visit old people who are in beds all day.
What I see is that caring and love and the warm touch of a living thing seems to be important to them....

 

[fingerguy]

Not sure I know what you mean, have these old folks told you how they feel about love and relationshships?
Both of my parents are in an assisted living center that is about 2000 miles from where I sit.
My Father can't stand up and is in a wheelchair this last year or two, my parents live on two separate floors of the place they're in because my Dad requires a different level of care than my Mom. I think he gets to visit her every day.
My three eldest siblings assist in managing things as it relates to my parents.
I also do service calls in hospice centers...I bring my dog to visit old people who are in beds all day, and what I see is that caring and love and the warm touch of a living thing seems to be important to old dying people.

We are not on the same page but I have to get work done at my job.

 

[58kites]

We are not on the same page.....

Very clearly.
My visits to hospice centers is not part of my job or work life, it is done in my free time..
...being of service to others is part of that love and caring and relationships bit I mentioned.