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Best bass for self defense?

S

schmig

Nov 30, 2008
318
31
#1
Hi all,

With the collapse of the paper-man Irish economy in recent years, there's been an increase in crime in my local city, much of it related to the influx of heroin junkies from the capital city into my own town. Yesterday while out for a stroll, to drop some films etc to a housebound (cycling accident) musician friend of mine, I was attacked by junkies on two different occasions. Started out looking for money but almost devolved into all-out muggings.

So..I often have a bass with me when out walking around. Which is the best one to break a junkie's skull in two with? My Geddy Lee jazz has a very thin neck but is Japanese and will possibly endow me with ninja powers. My sturdiest workhorse is a 2008 American Standard precision...I'm leaning towards the P...is nicely balanced. Lastly I have a 25 old aria pro 2 which weighs half a tonne...but I don't want to wind up on manslaughter charges...

Feedback appreciated, preferably from those with experience.
 
#4
Steinbergers will probably be the easiest to swing. A Hohner licensed copy would be easier on your pocket if you need to do it twice a day.

One of them long aluminium torches that take 4 D sized batteries have a nice heft, and be actually useful on dark stages. I know people who have them under their car seats always.
 
#6
^^^ beat me to it...


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#16
What a most peculiar thread... I recommend acquiring something barely functional that you have no sentimental attachment to. My Squier P-bass has a nice round baseball bat neck.

Alternatively,

Have you ever tried stringing up a machine gun?

image-2007985184.png
 
#19
Saxn said:
Put on a few more pounds and I would be surprised if you need a bass at all. How is it people are trying to mug a big fella like you?
Click to expand...

Small man syndrome...very popular in Ireland..you know the whole "fighting Irish" thing? It's no mere stereotype..and it's got nothing to do with throwing off the yoke of British occupation etc...basically the Irish like to beat the **** out of each other in the streets. Since nobody carries weapons here, everybody is a valid target.

As for my own size/appearance...I can make a precision look like a guitar:

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Am a pacifist/bassist/nerd/software engineer but am built big...in the last 4 years I've been beaten into the head so hard I lost proper use of my right hand for a week (at random, in the countryside), been mugged at an ATM machine and accidentally almost killed the guy, been kicked up the ass lifting gear into a countryside gig by a drunk stranger, had a death threat from a junkie about 6 months ago, attacked by two of them yesterday, been thrown down a flight of stairs at a nightclub for sitting on the wrong seat..the list goes on. Violence is hard to avoid in Irish life, especially if you're over 6 foot in a country of relatively small people.

I lived outside Ireland for my entire twenties and never accosted ONCE..
 

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