I don't think it's bad to be picky, but sometimes it depends on how badly you want to get out there and play. The more you get out there the more you'll be seen by other players who might like what you do.
A note about this, if you'll allow me...
I don't know how the situation is on your side of the pond, but I tried the whole "stay in crappy band just to be circulating the market" kinda thing and... it's not worth it. And this was a band with music I actually liked, too, so I wasn't really compromising on that.
First off, we never had that many people come to shows. Now granted, I'm terrible at this type of marketing, refuse to have people on my facebook that I don't personally know and also refuse to do the whole "I come to your gig so you'll come to mine" if I don't actually like the band I'm seeing. But, other people in that band were good at this stuff, and still, most shows were crickets.
Sadly, this wasn't true just for that band. Other bands suffered the same fate, more or less. Live music, it seems, had pretty much died and it was just an endless circle jerk between the local bands of what I said above; I come to your gig so you'll come to mine. Call me idealistic but I want the people who come to our shows to like our music and not just show up out of an unspoken deal.
Also, the social media marketing I said above. This, it turns out, means that, some of the band's friends will show up to support you. Some did, sure, but just for that very reason. They were obviously out of their element, the music was not to their tastes and just sat there, had a couple drinks and off they went to something they actually liked. That whole thing can only last for so much. Not many people will just keep coming and paying tickets or drinks to listen to music they don't like just because they're friends. Nor would I expect or want them to, honestly!
There were a lot of bands with aggressive social media marketing and a lot of time invested in just that - circulating the social media and fishing for anyone that could come to their shows. Bands with facebook friends in the thousands that sure, attracted a kinda bigger crowd. But guess what. That didn't last very much for them, either.
So, I stayed in that scene for some time, hoping my mere presence and my playing and word of mouth would probably attract something different. Something better for me. I got compliments on my playing from a lot of other musicians from other bands that came to see us or were playing with us. Aaaaand... that was it. No other gigs offered, no sign of anyone really noticing anyone, just the same ol' bands going around the same ol' circuit, with largely the same ol' members, doing that whole merry-go-round endlessly.
So, again, this is based on my data and my experiences so take it with a grain of salt.
Be picky. Find like minded people (if you can). Play what you like. But don't compromise and end up miserable just to get something that perhaps isn't there. Music's supposed to be fun.
