changes to my world as a gigging bassist part 2/update

[DaveParker39]

In part one of this story, I explained that my band (band A) lost our lead singer, and band B was founded in the wreckage, but with a newer, less experienced bassist in my place, who was a friend of one of the people in band B. Our old BL actually came to my house to talk to me to break the news, and invite me to audition on guitar after seeing one of their gigs. He wanted my musicianship in the new band.

I gave it some thought and decided to turn down the opportunity to audition on guitar. Frankly, I like playing guitar as a hobby, and I like playing acoustic, but gigging electric guitar is not my idea of a good time, especially in a popular cover band type situation. I also don't really get why I was passed over to begin with for this project, but I'm assuming it started casual and turned into something bigger, rather than actively excluding me.

I let him know I was available to play bass. For this project, for a reformation of the band with the new singer, or for something entirely differently. Happy to play bass.

My guess is, nothing will come of this on my end. It's unfortunate because we were one of the most well-known, well-booked bands in the area. The new project is not going to be as popular (it's just too narrow a genre) with or without me.

I'm bummed. I'm self employed in healthcare, I have another casual gig as an acoustic guitarist, and I don't have it in me to start fresh a new band. Not the time, not the space. I'd love to jump into a band and get out to playing again. It's a bit of a music desert out here in my pocket of the northeast.

At first I was rehearsing our old material with the hopes things would get back together, but now playing bass has become less fun, which really, really sucks. I'm sure that will pass, but it sucks. I miss getting out there and playing bass. I know a great band seeking a bassist isn't going to just land in my lap like it did with Band A, but I find it hard to try to build from the ground up.

Anyway, thanks for reading all that.

 

[WestyBassBob]

I hear you. Between work and family I never expected that finding time and the right people to play with would be so hard. A few years ago I had the time but couldn’t find a good group. Now I’ve got no time. Good luck man.

 

[MrWolf14]

I have only one thing to say, but you already know it: keep playing!
Bass, guitar, anything, but don't stop playing.

When it happened to me to have several years with no band, I started working on my own music and I recorded many songs collaborating with other musicians over the internet.
Not as fun as gigging out with a real band, but still a way to keep engaged.

I wish you to find a band soon.
Ciao, Domenico

 

[DJ Bebop]

Give it a little time. They might be calling you again

 

[Pep]

I’m going through something similar. A year ago I could see the writing on the wall that Band A wasn’t going to last. I played bass and did about 60% of the lead vocals. At that time Iwas offered a position in an established group as the bassist and took it. The band isn’t as good but I’m playing regularly.
Band A has had a great run at over 14 years and bookings were still coming in.
It all came to head this past December. We’re finishing up the gigs that were already booked and have been rehearsing to make sure we’re on our game for those gigs.
Hope you find something soon.

 

[john_g]

Give it a little time. They might be calling you again

+1.

 

[Fuzzbass]

I will condense and enhance my response to Part A:

When the pandemic nuked my gig calendar, I stopped playing for at least a month because my primary motivation was gone. I then realized that I shouldn't let my fingers get rusty: I did that once decades ago while working full time and attending college at night. Once I'd earned my degree, getting my fingers back into shape was a lengthy, brutal ordeal! It's so frustrating when your brain knows what to play but your fingers won't cooperate. That, and my calluses were gone so I couldn't rehearse as long as I wanted to.

Back to the pandemic shutdown: my solution for keeping my fingers in shape and calluses intact was to play purely for enjoyment. I also decided to learn songs with fun bass lines that I'd never gotten the opportunity to play in any of my bands. I put together YouTube playlists of fun and challenging songs, and tried to replicate my lost gigs by playing multiple hour-long sets of these songs on weekends.

That was my solution. Perhaps you'd prefer something else, like technique/theory woodshedding... or a little bit of everything.

Regardless: you have my condolences, and best wishes for finding another band.

 

[J Wilson]

Of course, none of this is my bidness, but since you left it open to the floor:

I understand the pull of memory of having been in THAT band . . . and the difficulty of putting it behind me when it ends. Been there.

However, that Band B was formed without you on bass would tell me everything I hated to hear, but there it is, and then them throwing me a bone to come back but play guitar instead of bass?!? Really.

It's done, and so are you. Really sucks, but it is what it is, and if it was as me, I wouldn't waste another 5 seconds of my life ruminating about it.

Because you don't know that something better isn't on its way to you. Go find it.

 

[Thunderthumbs73]

In part one of this story, I explained that my band (band A) lost our lead singer, and band B was founded in the wreckage, but with a newer, less experienced bassist in my place, who was a friend of one of the people in band B. Our old BL actually came to my house to talk to me to break the news, and invite me to audition on guitar after seeing one of their gigs. He wanted my musicianship in the new band.

I gave it some thought and decided to turn down the opportunity to audition on guitar. Frankly, I like playing guitar as a hobby, and I like playing acoustic, but gigging electric guitar is not my idea of a good time, especially in a popular cover band type situation. I also don't really get why I was passed over to begin with for this project, but I'm assuming it started casual and turned into something bigger, rather than actively excluding me.

I let him know I was available to play bass. For this project, for a reformation of the band with the new singer, or for something entirely differently. Happy to play bass.

My guess is, nothing will come of this on my end. It's unfortunate because we were one of the most well-known, well-booked bands in the area. The new project is not going to be as popular (it's just too narrow a genre) with or without me.

I'm bummed. I'm self employed in healthcare, I have another casual gig as an acoustic guitarist, and I don't have it in me to start fresh a new band. Not the time, not the space. I'd love to jump into a band and get out to playing again. It's a bit of a music desert out here in my pocket of the northeast.

At first I was rehearsing our old material with the hopes things would get back together, but now playing bass has become less fun, which really, really sucks. I'm sure that will pass, but it sucks. I miss getting out there and playing bass. I know a great band seeking a bassist isn't going to just land in my lap like it did with Band A, but I find it hard to try to build from the ground up.

Anyway, thanks for reading all that.

It does suck, and you said it: It will pass. Every band needs a bass player, and it may in fact land in your lap again. Maybe not right now or in the view/future immediately in front of you, but I'm an optimist that the right people recognize talent and talent attracts talent, however it all sorts out down the road.

Easy for me to say, I know.

 

[BigJohnAZ]

Hang in there. If everything in life went as planned, we'd have nothing to bitch about! Lol

This interlude is preparing you for the next thing, whatever that may be. Keep playing, find that list of songs you always wanted to learn but never had the time and have some fun keep those little gray cells active, as Poirot used to say.

 

[Deleted member 394181]

One can never take a band, especially a gigging band, for granted.

 

[Jason Hollar]

It might be worth it to start be-bopping around to local jam sessions. Getting one’s butt kicked by seasoned players is good motivation to practice.

We have a couple high quality monthly jazz jams around here that are wonderful networking opportunities.

There are also several weekly singer/songwriter type jams that I’ve not actually been to … but certainly would if I was looking in that genre.

 

[logdrum]

Of course, none of this is my bidness, but since you left it open to the floor:

I understand the pull of memory of having been in THAT band . . . and the difficulty of putting it behind me when it ends. Been there.

However, that Band B was formed without you on bass would tell me everything I hated to hear, but there it is, and then them throwing me a bone to come back but play guitar instead of bass?!? Really.

It's done, and so are you. Really sucks, but it is what it is, and if it was as me, I wouldn't waste another 5 seconds of my life ruminating about it.

Because you don't know that something better isn't on its way to you. Go find it.

This^^^ You will not see the new opportunities unless you let this go.

 

[DaveParker39]

This^^^ You will not see the new opportunities unless you let this go.

Of course, none of this is my bidness, but since you left it open to the floor:

I understand the pull of memory of having been in THAT band . . . and the difficulty of putting it behind me when it ends. Been there.

However, that Band B was formed without you on bass would tell me everything I hated to hear, but there it is, and then them throwing me a bone to come back but play guitar instead of bass?!? Really.

It's done, and so are you. Really sucks, but it is what it is, and if it was as me, I wouldn't waste another 5 seconds of my life ruminating about it.

Because you don't know that something better isn't on its way to you. Go find it.

Oh, it's a valid point to bring up.

I have various theories why they passed me over. Could be because I am closest to the lead singer who left. Could be my personality. Who knows. But I hope it ain't my bass playing. I don't think it is. I know it's not my singing, that's one of the the reasons they wanted me in on guitar, to sing a handful of songs their new singer couldn't. Can't do some of our hits without me on lead vocals, although I only do lead vocals on like 5% of songs and do harmony the rest of the time.

(I'm not a virtuoso singer there are just songs that I have a voice exceptionally well suited for)

 

[Norm Nelson]

I, too, would have been crushed. Such a drag. Here's hoping something better falls into your lap. As earlier posters already said, you never know. (that's in the bible, that is)

 

[Five or Six]

Well, since this spring up. We are booked pretty much until September. Mostly 3 hour gigs. Corporate mostly, some private parties.

Anyway, I've been BL In this band for 10+ years. All get along great. We have discussions not arguments, adults. Had a great rehearsal Saturday afternoon. Low key, some goofing around but got our work done. Left like normal. Bye, go to hell, see ya. (Normal)

Anyway, setting here reading yesterday and my wife says: "your big trailer just pulled into the yard! What! I got up and went outside. There was my lead guitar player, vocalists with my trailer on his truck. He was letting the Jack down when I got to him.

I said: "what's the deal"? He said it is all your equipment". "I'm done, don't call me or text me"! WT?! That was it, got in his truck and drove off! I had nothing, and still don't!! Thats it?? So, I guess after 10+ years and without even a hint of issues, its over!

I called the drummer and other guitar player. (Surprised you guys didn't hear the drummer! ) I told them not to call or text him, leave it alone for now like I will. I'm just beyond bummed and don't understand at all. I would really like to know why! But per his request I wont contact him. So, I cancelled this weekend. Owner was pissed. They had a big Mothers Day party planned. (Big venue) Gave her a number to call for a buddies band. They took the gig to bail me out.

I will give this till Monday and see if any change or news from him. I'm getting too old to start over. The pool for musicians is drying up here to. I'm sick about it. Trying to figure "why", but can't. Will have to cancel over a dozen gigs. Drummer is going to need counseling.

 

[brianrost]

Hey, at least he brought your stuff back instead of selling it

 

[pepj]

Get over and try and move up.
If they do call..you are their second choice but deal with that if and when that occurs.
Personally, I'd take some convincing to entertain the idea but hey.....??

Be ready for the next opportunity. I'd throw myself into a practice regime but you need to forget about old band.

If you want to step up, you need to be able to step up.

Unfortunately bands are formed with personalities sometimes ahead of player ability.
No, I don't get it either, but thats on them.

 

[pepj]

Well, since this spring up. We are booked pretty much until September. Mostly 3 hour gigs. Corporate mostly, some private parties.

Anyway, I've been BL In this band for 10+ years. All get along great. We have discussions not arguments, adults. Had a great rehearsal Saturday afternoon. Low key, some goofing around but got our work done. Left like normal. Bye, go to hell, see ya. (Normal)

Anyway, setting here reading yesterday and my wife says: "your big trailer just pulled into the yard! What! I got up and went outside. There was my lead guitar player, vocalists with my trailer on his truck. He was letting the Jack down when I got to him.

I said: "what's the deal"? He said it is all your equipment". "I'm done, don't call me or text me"! WT?! That was it, got in his truck and drove off! I had nothing, and still don't!! Thats it?? So, I guess after 10+ years and without even a hint of issues, its over!

I called the drummer and other guitar player. (Surprised you guys didn't hear the drummer! ) I told them not to call or text him, leave it alone for now like I will. I'm just beyond bummed and don't understand at all. I would really like to know why! But per his request I wont contact him. So, I cancelled this weekend. Owner was pissed. They had a big Mothers Day party planned. (Big venue) Gave her a number to call for a buddies band. They took the gig to bail me out.

I will give this till Monday and see if any change or news from him. I'm getting too old to start over. The pool for musicians is drying up here to. I'm sick about it. Trying to figure "why", but can't. Will have to cancel over a dozen gigs. Drummer is going to need counseling.

I'm sorry, that doesn't seem like normal behaviour, imv. Might be well out of it.
Can't you just replace him..?
Should not be hard if you have a decent rep and gigs on the books?

 

[Five or Six]

We have roughly an 80 song catalog we use. I sing lead on 15-20 a night depending on the list I setup. Drummer does a dozen and second guitar only 4. He does the rest. To try and pick someone to pick up the rest of the songs a night would be monotonous, frustrating and disappointing I guess? I appreciate your canter but, I will honor his request and will wait till the weekend and see if anything changes. It's on him, I won't call or text. I have a motorcycle rally next week. Hopefully I can shed this for a few days.

Our reserve to pull from is "not much"!