Coffee Quotes and Stories

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by kesslari, Mar 14, 2018.

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  1. kesslari

    kesslari Groovin' with the Fusion Cats Staff Member Gold Supporting Member

    Dec 21, 2007
    Santa Cruz Mtns, California
    Lark in the Morning Instructional Videos; Audix Microphones
    My beloved beverage has many tales and great quotes about it. I'll share a couple. Share yours!

    The Dancing Goats:
    It is told that an Ethiopian goatherd would take his goats grazing. One day the goats went up a mountain while the goatherd remained below in a shady spot. Later that day the goats came dancing down the mountain. Curious, the goatherd returned to the spot the next day, and once again, the goats walked up the mountain and came dancing down.
    Now the goatherd was REALLY curious and climbed the mountain himself. On the mountainside he found plants with rich green leaves and red berries, which his goats where happily munching. He tried a few of the red berries himself, and he found himself dancing too! And thus was coffee discovered....

    Pope Clement VIII and Coffee:
    Coffee was widely viewed as evil in Europe, since it was the drink of the Muslim "infidels" with whom Christian Europe had been at war for centuries (remember The Crusades?). Many church leaders asked the Pope to ban the beverage, which was considered "Satan's drink". The Pope, to his credit, refused to do so before trying it himself.

    And so coffee was prepared, and a steaming mug presented to the Pope, who declared "This devil's drink is delicious! We should cheat the devil by baptizing it!!" And so Pope Clement VIII baptized the coffee beans, and wonderful coffee spread throughout Europe, with the Pope's blessing.

    "No man can know the Truth until he has tasted of coffee's frothy goodness" ~ Sheik Abd Al-Kadir
     
  2. MJ5150

    MJ5150 Moderator Staff Member

    Apr 12, 2001
    Olympia, WA
    Dancing Goats is the name of one of the better coffee shops in this area.

    -Mike
     
  3. kesslari

    kesslari Groovin' with the Fusion Cats Staff Member Gold Supporting Member

    Dec 21, 2007
    Santa Cruz Mtns, California
    Lark in the Morning Instructional Videos; Audix Microphones
    I have a quote but have lost the author...
    "Wherever there is an intoxicant to be found in antiquity, there is a possessed goat leading the way..."
    EDIT - remembered the author. Stuart Walton, from the book "Out of It: A Cultural History of Intoxication"
     
    Last edited: Mar 14, 2018
  4. T_Bone_TL

    T_Bone_TL

    Jan 10, 2013
    SW VT
    Traditional Turkish, any way you like it:

    Black as Hell, Sweet as Love, Strong as Death

    Black as Death, Sweet as Hell, Strong as Love

    Black as Love, Sweet as Death, Strong as Hell

    Black as Hell, Sweet as Death, Strong as Love

    Black as Death, Sweet as Love, Strong as Hell

    Black as Love, Sweet as Hell, Strong as Death
     
  5. Gorn

    Gorn

    Dec 15, 2011
    Queens, NY
    I like coffee.

    -me
     
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  6. Funky Ghost

    Funky Ghost Translucently Groovy

  7. Funky Ghost

    Funky Ghost Translucently Groovy

    Science may never come up with a better office communication system than the coffee break.

    ~ Earl Wilson
     
  8. Funky Ghost

    Funky Ghost Translucently Groovy

    In January 2015, Serena Williams was feeling a little sluggish in her match with opponent Flavia Pannetta in the Hopman Cup opener in Perth, Australia.

    After losing the first set 6-0, she decided she needed a little pick-me-up, and when you're Serena Williams, you get to have some perks with the job. Williams got a percolating perk by ordering an espresso DURING the match!

    After asking the umpire if it was okay, the tennis superstar then had a ball girl deliver her the espresso. “I was just feeling it, so I just had to get some coffee into me,” Williams said. “I just asked them to get me a shot of espresso - I asked them if it was legal, because I've never done it before. I needed to wake up.”

    Williams recovered to beat Flavia Pennetta 0-6, 6-3, 6-0. She later jokingly called her beverage “miracle coffee.”
     
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  9. DirtDog

    DirtDog

    Jun 7, 2002
    The Deep North
    Coffee: sweet giver of life, mother of us all (riffed off Homer Simpson).
     
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  10. kesslari

    kesslari Groovin' with the Fusion Cats Staff Member Gold Supporting Member

    Dec 21, 2007
    Santa Cruz Mtns, California
    Lark in the Morning Instructional Videos; Audix Microphones
    A morning without coffee is like ... sleep.
    ~ me
     
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  11. kesslari

    kesslari Groovin' with the Fusion Cats Staff Member Gold Supporting Member

    Dec 21, 2007
    Santa Cruz Mtns, California
    Lark in the Morning Instructional Videos; Audix Microphones
    "I was on a flight the other night, pretty bagged after the weekend so I ordered a coffee when the flight attendant came by with the drink tray. She asked me how I took it and I said: "Black. Like my soul.""
    ~ TB member @Mark Reccord
     
  12. kesslari

    kesslari Groovin' with the Fusion Cats Staff Member Gold Supporting Member

    Dec 21, 2007
    Santa Cruz Mtns, California
    Lark in the Morning Instructional Videos; Audix Microphones
    "Coffee is the common man's gold, and like gold,
    it brings to every man the feeling of luxury and nobility.
    Where coffee is served, there is
    grace and splendor and friendship and happiness.
    All cares vanish as the coffee cup is raised to the lips."

    Another great quote from Sheik Abd Al-Kadir. Seems like a good guy.
     
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  13. Indiedog

    Indiedog

    Aug 23, 2012
    Tucson, AZ
    From "Twin Peaks"

    Waitress: "How do you like your coffee Agent Cooper?" Agent Cooper: "Black as midnight on a moonless night."

    "Harry, I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. Every day, once a day, give yourself a little present. Don't plan it, don't wait for it, just...let it happen. Could be a new shirt at the men's store, a catnap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot, black coffee."
    --Dale Cooper
     
    Last edited: Mar 15, 2018
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  14. saabfender

    saabfender Inactive

    Jan 10, 2018
    Indianapolis
    "Fresh pots!" - Dave Grohl

     
  15. She got a grand kick out that. I say every time someone asks me how I take my coffee now. I did kind of steal it from a Die Antwoord tune. :D

    I'm not going to link it because, well, a whole lot of non-TB friendly language but the tune is "We have candy" and it's on youtube.
     
  16. ahc

    ahc

    Jul 31, 2009
    No. Virginia
     
  17. two fingers

    two fingers Opinionated blowhard. But not mad about it. Inactive

    Feb 7, 2005
    Eastern NC USA
    Confused as hell, perplexed as crap, not getn it as..... a lot. :wideyed:

    Clearly, I need more coffee. :wacky:
     
  18. smeet

    smeet Gold Supporting Member

    Nov 27, 2006
    Woodland Hills, CA
    A few years ago on a coffee break at work, we went to our neighborhood Starbucks (no judgment please). I ordered a quadruple espresso, cuz I’m badd like that. As you may or may not know, Starbucks has an assembly line system - one person takes your order and writes it on the cup, and one reads the cup to make the coffee. Well, as you also may or may not know, some people close and round their “4” so that to other people it looks a lot like a “9”. In this case that happened, and I ended up getting a nona espresso instead of my quad espresso.

    Yes, I have a high tolerance for caffeine. Yes, I drank it. Yes, I felt less than good a little while later. But now I am the stuff of legend.
     
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  19. Funky Ghost

    Funky Ghost Translucently Groovy

    I've always replied "Strong and black, like I prefer my women." :) Of course now I'm back with my lil French gal who is massively strong willed, but as fair as the driven snow :) I may have to change my drinks to Vanilla Latte with four shots! :D
     
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  20. maxmaroon

    maxmaroon Guest

    Oct 25, 2010
    Caramel burn off silken stone
    The flirting of moisturised pores
    Nature's gheam enticing
    The fruit now dry and crumbled
    Songs of the Sun
    Sung by the fleeting
    Floating roads leading inland
    Swollen homes drifting flavour

    Not meditation
    But close enough for most
     
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