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Double Bass comments on the street

#61
I gotta chance to use my favorite line on a gig last week.
I'm packing my bass out and a sexy young lady says:" It must be very tiring hauling that big thing around with you all the time."
Of course I said " Yeah, but hauling this big Bass around with me all the time is even more tiring." :eek:
 
#64
Some girl was talking with her friends; I think she thought she was being funny when I walked past with my bass.

She said to her friends: "I wonder how many dead babies he fits in there,".

I stopped and turned on my heels to her and answered: "Forty-three".

Then I walked away.
 
#65
My favorite was at an art gallery opening. An attractive blonde comes to me at the break and says "Is that a cello you're playing?" I told her that it is a bass and very quickly explained the difference. She looked me dead in the eye and said "No , I think thats a cello." I was sort of shocked and said "Maybe you're right." and walked away.:D
 
#66
This happened at an art gallery gig too: Playing with a trio and a young guy wanders in -- lots of wispy facial hair, grubby clothes, cigarette dangling from his lips -- looks at me in shock and wonderment and exclaims loudly, "Dude! How can you play that in tune without any frets?!" Like he'd never seen anyone play a double bass in his life (maybe he hadn't).

I thought he was just being ironic, so I just grinned and said something like 'Not very well, obviously' and kept playing, but he was insistent. He comes up close "No, really, man, how do you know where put your fingers?" This is in the middle of a tune. He peers at the fingerboard around to the side of the neck. "Dude! There aren't even any DOTS!" Finally the hors d'ouevre tray came by and his attention was re-focused. Bandmates got a laugh out of that one.
 
#67
Big B. said:
My favorite was at an art gallery opening. An attractive blonde comes to me at the break and says "Is that a cello you're playing?" I told her that it is a bass and very quickly explained the difference. She looked me dead in the eye and said "No , I think thats a cello." I was sort of shocked and said "Maybe you're right." and walked away.:D
Click to expand...

Als had something like this, after a gig a woman approaches me and exclaims "wow, I've never seen a cello being played in real life!!" I didn't know what to say, so I turned around and walked away.
 
#69
Mike Goodbar said:
This happened at an art gallery gig too: Playing with a trio and a young guy wanders in -- lots of wispy facial hair, grubby clothes, cigarette dangling from his lips -- looks at me in shock and wonderment and exclaims loudly, "Dude! How can you play that in tune without any frets?!" Like he'd never seen anyone play a double bass in his life (maybe he hadn't).

I thought he was just being ironic, so I just grinned and said something like 'Not very well, obviously' and kept playing, but he was insistent. He comes up close "No, really, man, how do you know where put your fingers?" This is in the middle of a tune. He peers at the fingerboard around to the side of the neck. "Dude! There aren't even any DOTS!" Finally the hors d'ouevre tray came by and his attention was re-focused. Bandmates got a laugh out of that one.
Click to expand...

Everything about this story says "weed" to me...not that I'm judging.
 
#72
@Mike Goodbar: The serious answer to "No, really, man, how do you know where put your fingers?" is ear training and proprioception. Proprioception is what allows you to close your eyes and touch your nose. Of course, I expect he would have had some difficulty performing that feat, so maybe it wouldn't be such a good example.
 
#76
A while ago at a gig, a guy comes up and asks:

"Is that a viola or a cello? My wife was wondering."

I explain nicely and he goes back to his table. Half an hour later the two of them walk by on their way out. He explains it to her, and gets it right. She, as if knowingly, says:

"Oh! A bassoon!"
 
#80
I have registration number BA55 ACE on my car (I know, I know) and yesterday after a rehearsal the other rhythm guys were discussing it and referred to it as an illegal plate. No, I said, the spacing all fine etc. Yes, said the drummer, but we were referring to the Trades Descriptions Act! Bloody drummers.
 

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