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Considering leaving...

Reedt2000

Reedt2000

Supporting Member
Apr 26, 2017
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#1
Thinking about stepping away from a band I've played in for a decade. They don't play much, 1 or 2 times a month typically. They also play the same 2 venues 95% of the time. It's a blues/oldies/country band. I like all the members and everyone can play.

I've got a lot going on (two working bands, finishing an online degree, full-time job & part-time job). I double booked myself today and thankfully caught it early enough to arrange a sub for the gig I'm not gonna do (which Is the blues band, the other band has a much larger, more significant, and better paying gig).

Personally I hate that. I work really hard to keep things straight and professional so I'm totally mad at myself for slipping up (it is a non-event for the blues band, they've got a tiny gig and could have gone acoustic w/o bass and been fine).

I think I'm just over-committed. If I look at all of the things I do to see which I can cut out, the blues band seems like the right choice. It would not only free up a weekend or two but I wouldn't have to worry about conflicting dates. I'd still be available as a sub if they needed. It's a little bittersweet but I think the time has come.

Curious to hear if anyone has had similar experiences.
 
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#2
Wow, you’re a busy man. Seems like the wisest decision to me. Especially if you can sit in every now and again to still get to play with them every now and again. I have my hands full with work and one band. We do typically play at least three weekends a month. Sometimes I don’t know how long I can keep it up to be honest. I love this band and wouldn’t trade it for the world but it’s getting harder to play a gig, get home after one or so and get up and go to work by seven thirty.
 
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#3
Based on what you say you’ve got going on in your life right now I’m amazed you’re even asking the question.

FWIW, getting totally mad at yourself is a pointless indulgence in ego. The world doesn’t care about someone’s self image. All it cares about is results. Mistakes get made. You made one. You fixed it. End of story. Let it go. :)
 
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#4
I haven't been in that situation but it seems you have a handle on it.

I would give notice to the blues outfit and be prepared for them to be slow finding someone suitable since it's been ten years.

Mind you, 2 weekends paid a month is a nice gig for a lot of older guys so also be prepared to have your workload reduced right away.
 
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#5
Sometime being over commited it's not healty at all. If you feel that you can't accomplish everything , maybe you're doing too much.

If your bandmates have some kind of empathy , they will understand the reasons to leave.. if they not, you have made the right choice anyways.
 
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#6
Reedt2000 said:
Thinking about stepping away from a band I've played in for a decade. They don't play much, 1 or 2 times a month typically. They also play the same 2 venues 95% of the time. It's a blues/oldies/country band. I like all the members and everyone can play.

I've got a lot going on (two working bands, finishing an online degree, full-time job & part-time job). I double booked myself today and thankfully caught it early enough to arrange a sub for the gig I'm not gonna do (which Is the blues band, the other band has a much larger, more significant, and better paying gig).

Personally I hate that. I work really hard to keep things straight and professional so I'm totally mad at myself for slipping up (it is a non-event for the blues band, they've got a tiny gig and could have gone acoustic w/o bass and been fine).

I think I'm just over-committed. If I look at all of the things I do to see which I can cut out, the blues band seems like the right choice. It would not only free up a weekend or two but I wouldn't have to worry about conflicting dates. I'd still be available as a sub if they needed. It's a little bittersweet but I think the time has come.

Curious to hear if anyone has had similar experiences.
Click to expand...
Sounds like you already know how to handle the situation but want some kind of confirmation . Be stra6with all concerned and you won't feel guilty about your choices. Good luck. Ps suggest hiring assistant to schedule gigs-sounds like your busy! Ps maybe hire assistant that can also lug gear
 
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#8
For most of us this band thing is not our day job. If you like the guys and enjoy their company once you quit there is usually no going back. My advise would be to hold off making a decision right now and then in a month from now if you still feel the same then it's time to cut the chord.

IMO, this is a $200 decision. When THE BAND is no longer fun time to move on.
 
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#13
Reedt2000 said:
They don't play much, 1 or 2 times a month typically. They also play the same 2 venues 95% of the time. It's a blues/oldies/country band. I like all the members and everyone can play.
Click to expand...

You just described a dream situation for 90% of the players out there that frequent forums, lol. Its great you have other, better opportunities though. Maybe discuss cutting back to once a month. Being a house band the same week each month can be cool. I'd bring a guest performer or two with that situation, a good way to find new talent, network, help out performers that are in between, and audiences love seeing that. It messages community, musicians enjoying musicians, and they marvel that somebody can just show up, and blend in with no practice, just winging it.
 
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#19
Yeah, I have. I played with a country band, Jim-Joe Greedy and the '61 Ramblers for two years. From the beginning, Jim-Joe knew Redhead (cover band) took priority. At the end of the second year, I saw that Redhead was going to eat up most of my calendar, and we parted ways. The band did not gig very often, and the money was sort of a joke, but it was a really great hang: Jim-Joe was an old punk rocker who'd discovered Hank Williams; the lead guitarist/violinist was classically trained and played bass in the local symphony. They were united in their love of early Elvis. Rehearsals with these two were always seriously entertaining.

But you know, I'm not all that sad. For a weekend warrior band, Redhead is working a lot, and I like to be busy. Do what you gotta do.
 
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