This is an actual ad running on the Omaha, NE craiglist:
"Cover Band Seeking Bassist
Good Afternoon. We are a tight coverband who has recently lost our bassist to the lupus. We are looking to fill the void with someone who can get along with the band. Also, style is very important to us. You must own all of the following or arrange to get them before your first practice.
1. A cool shirt. Hopefully it's made of shiny material and has flames on it. Also acceptable is a shiny shirt with lots of little guitars on it.
2. A cool hat. We currently don't have a "hat guy" in the band. Our old bassist filled that spot before he passed. He had a really sharp hat. It looked sort of like the one Indiana Jones wore, only it was lighter tan with a feather. We called him "Hat" as a nickname. We plan on referring to you as "Hat" as well. We hope that's okay with you.
3. A Rickenbacker bass. Hat always played a crummy Ibanez. We think Rickenbackers look badass.
4. A brand new pair of REALLY white sneakers. You may have to buy a new pair every other gig. We like our sneakers to be really white.
5. Cargo pants.
6. One earring in your left ear.
If you have access to all of the above, please email me. Oh, and also. Don't have Lupus. When Hat first told me he had been stricken with the Lupus, I assumed it had something to do with werewolves and freaked out a little. Turns out, it doesn't have anything to do with werewolves. It was an embarrassing realization.
Anyhow, email for audition. Thanks."
"Cover Band Seeking Bassist
Good Afternoon. We are a tight coverband who has recently lost our bassist to the lupus. We are looking to fill the void with someone who can get along with the band. Also, style is very important to us. You must own all of the following or arrange to get them before your first practice.
1. A cool shirt. Hopefully it's made of shiny material and has flames on it. Also acceptable is a shiny shirt with lots of little guitars on it.
2. A cool hat. We currently don't have a "hat guy" in the band. Our old bassist filled that spot before he passed. He had a really sharp hat. It looked sort of like the one Indiana Jones wore, only it was lighter tan with a feather. We called him "Hat" as a nickname. We plan on referring to you as "Hat" as well. We hope that's okay with you.
3. A Rickenbacker bass. Hat always played a crummy Ibanez. We think Rickenbackers look badass.
4. A brand new pair of REALLY white sneakers. You may have to buy a new pair every other gig. We like our sneakers to be really white.
5. Cargo pants.
6. One earring in your left ear.
If you have access to all of the above, please email me. Oh, and also. Don't have Lupus. When Hat first told me he had been stricken with the Lupus, I assumed it had something to do with werewolves and freaked out a little. Turns out, it doesn't have anything to do with werewolves. It was an embarrassing realization.
Anyhow, email for audition. Thanks."
