Did my drummer really just do that .....

[Quinn Roberts]

Maybe he's better qualified as someone who hasn't (yet) normalized some of the pissing matches that go on within otherwise informative threads on TB. Then again, it's not a real discussion board without the occasional e-skirmish...

Lol, I quickly became normalized with this after a skirmish involving flat thirds on beat three in walking bass lines began on a thread I posted.

My apologies for misunderstanding. Probably good advice on and off line.

All good! In this case, I'd say it's good advice "offline" from what I've read. Not all circumstances are the same though.

 

[Skerrvydog]

@noagreement , please follow up with us on how you and he and the band handled this following that show. Did you discuss and lay down some rules agreeable to everyone?

I’m with the camp here that will laud this drummer for paying attention and demanding the attention of the other memebers. Maybe a stick tap was not the best way to communicate, and maybe he was impatient about it, but he did what he felt he had to do in order to keep the show on track and keep his experience enjoyable. Nothing sucks worse than a miserable show because you can’t hear sh*t for whatever reason.

 

[lfmn16]

Lol, I quickly became normalized with this after a skirmish involving flat thirds on beat three in walking bass lines began on a thread I posted.

I'm frequently surprised even after all these years on TB when someone resorts to personal attacks when you aren't even addressing them. We have an ignore feature, which I make liberal and frequent use of, and if you don't like what someone is posting, just put them on your list. No need to let them know that you don't like what they post.

 

[electracoyote]

Perhaps I'm mistaken, but OP made it sound like more than just a tap.

Next thing I know, he taps our guitarist (standing in front of the drums) in the same way and indicates that we should be looking at him for the breaks in the song.

OP made it sound like they both got tapped by the tough love stick. If it didn't leave a bruise or a mark, it's a tap. And only the thinnest skinned people on earth would get this upset about it. Lol, some people on this thread are acting like OP got assaulted, I find that hilarious but given the current social climate I guess I shouldn't be surprised.

Personally, in the grand scheme of on-stage communication, I'd rather a drummer innocently tapped me on the arm rather than yelled at me to get my attention. Chances are, when the drummer tapped his bandmates, the audience either didn't notice or it didn't register as a crime against humanity like it is on this thread.

It bears repeating, work out your stage volume before downbeat, work out the changes and know the arrangements before you show up to the venue, keep an eye on your drummer if he's the only one paying attention to such details, and discuss appropriate stage communication if you are that sensitive and easily insulted. I maintain the drummer is to be commended for tapping his bandmates and waking them up to a couple of basic realities of public performance and trying to put some order to the stage, better late than never. Working stuff out in front of an audience is not the ideal, but letting those issues fester and ruin a set is by far the worse of the two evils.

Like others have commented, assuming this drummer can keep good time, I'd love to have him in my band. Sounds like a straight-up no BS dude who wants to put on a good show for his audiences. A drummer who is listening to what's going on around him and aware of his environment is as rare as hen's teeth. If I'm screwing the pooch on stage and not looking at him, he has my permission and appreciation for tapping me with his drum stick. Neither my skin nor my ego are that easily bruised.

 

[Quinn Roberts]

I'm frequently surprised even after all these years on TB when someone resorts to personal attacks when you aren't even addressing them. We have an ignore feature, which I make liberal and frequent use of, and if you don't like what someone is posting, just put them on your list. No need to let them know that you don't like what they post.

Hmmm? I partook in said skirmish though. Sorry for causing so many misinterpretations, my vocabulary is odd at best.

@noagreement , please follow up with us on how you and he and the band handled this following that show. Did you discuss and lay down some rules agreeable to everyone?

I’m with the camp here that will laud this drummer for paying attention and demanding the attention of the other memebers. Maybe a stick tap was not the best way to communicate, and maybe he was impatient about it, but he did what he felt he had to do in order to keep the show on track and keep his experience enjoyable. Nothing sucks worse than a miserable show because you can’t hear sh*t for whatever reason.

And I agree, a follow up would be most appreciated! Could give a nice example to people in future predicaments as your's.

 

[noagreement]

Thanks everyone! I really didn't expect this issue to generate the passionate number of responses that it did. I expected more "Fire the drummer" to "Stop being a sissy" responses. I was really trying to find out how common this practice may be. That said, it really made me look at the bigger picture and within myself.

There are many factors involved in this drum stick situation that were not conveyed in the original post and that go beyond basic on stage communication - such as rage/control issues, lack of chemistry, recent personnel changes, song selection, etc. that factor into the issue. For the record, there was no blood or black and blue bruises, but rather a healthy level of disrespect and frustration on both mine and the drummer's part. He and I are friends (maybe not best friends), but do enjoy each other's company for the last couple of years.

I expect that we will discuss and peacefully resolve any on stage communication issues during our next get together (next week) over a beer. I mentioned that the guitarist was poked the same way. He had a greater negative reaction than me. so I expect that between the two of us, this point won't be forgotten and will be laid out as "let's not have this happen again" type of thing. End of story. Or maybe we will just "rage and quit" or fire our self-centered, controlling, loud, PIA drummer.

 

[electracoyote]

There are many factors involved in this drum stick situation that were not conveyed in the original post and that go beyond basic on stage communication - such as rage/control issues, lack of chemistry, recent personnel changes, song selection, etc. that factor into the issue...a healthy level of disrespect and frustration on both mine and the drummer's part...self-centered, controlling, loud, PIA drummer.

Wow. That is important information, should have been mentioned much earlier, totally changes the dynamic and meaning behind otherwise innocuous gestures.

Sounds like you have far deeper problems than being tapped by a drum stick, if that act constitutes the straw that could break the proverbial camel's back and ruin your day to the point of going social media with it. Good luck working it out and learning how to work together, enjoy each others' company, and not have meltdowns when you touch or look at each other wrong. It seems whenever I have found myself surrounded by that much thin ice and animosity, I have found it necessary to somehow extracted myself from the situation.

 

[Feral Feline]

 

[Quinn Roberts]

Was watching some YouYube and came across this little history lesson from the legend himself Berlin! Found it somewhat relevant to the thread here.

 

[thawkeyes]

These things need to be worked out ahead of time. A good soundcheck should take care of this... and a soundcheck with your loudest settings and quietest settings. If you were too loud that means you were not making suitable eye contact, and of course, you should be looking at ALL your bandmates, especially during the first minute of the first song. He has no way of getting your attention if you are not communicating with him. As a gigging drummer, I've been stuck in this position. Upon next practice, these things are worked out.

 

[s0c9]

These things need to be worked out ahead of time. A good soundcheck should take care of this... and a soundcheck with your loudest settings and quietest settings. If you were too loud that means you were not making suitable eye contact, and of course, you should be looking at ALL your bandmates, especially during the first minute of the first song. He has no way of getting your attention if you are not communicating with him. As a gigging drummer, I've been stuck in this position. Upon next practice, these things are worked out.

IME "soundcheck" is WAY TOO LATE a time to be discussing these kinds of things. If you are a working cover band with experienced folks who learn stuff on your own, SELDOM rehearse and put it together at sound check, then yeah.. I could say that it might be valid. For MOST, I would say that one needs a designated music "leader" (often the BL) to drive that, way IN ADVANCE! There should be NO discussion on stage as to who starts, stops, drives turnarounds/go-rounds, calls out set changes, and so on.
That SHOULD be known BY ALL ahead of time and NOT up for discussion while playing. Take it offline and resolve if you disagree. But NOT during a gig.
My $0.02.

 

[marmadaddy]

Hi,

Sometimes I will grab his crash cymbal and choke it just as he hits it at the end of a fill. It's all in fun.

BassCliff

I love doing this, particularly with drummers I haven't played with before. The guy I play with most often now pulls a fake if he sees me eyeing one of his cymbals. It's a game that goes on all night long. I don't know if the rest of the band has even caught on yet.

 

[Gringo Basso]

Drummers. There is no need to explain further.

 

[kansas666]

I just grab his ride cymbal and drop it on the floor. Problem solved.