Did my drummer really just do that .....

[Stewie]

I once had a cymbal stand topple, the cymbal itself putting a nice crease like dent just under the neck of my bass. It wasn't intentional, and chicks dig scars

 

[MIMike]

Congratulations on having a drummer who cares, and listens well enough to notice when things aren’t right.
My experience is that getting the drummers attention when you feel like the song is rushing, or you want to end the tune is usually a huge challenge.

 

[CapnSev]

Then you and the rest came ill-equipped. You gotta bring enough to keep up with the drummer, even if he gets loud(er). Expecting him to dumb it down and control his volume is a real hit-or-miss proposition IME, especially if you play energetic pop or harder music.

You can always bring more than you need and turn down if your drummer exercises restraint. But it doesn't work so well the other direction.

Not so much ill equipped, more so the drummer needed to cool his jets and learn that he doesn’t need to deafen the audience.

 

[bobalu]

Drum machines don't throw anything at you. We use a Beat Buddy. (really).

 

[MYLOWFREQ]

even though he might be completely right with his requests, hitting band mates with sticks is not acceptable unless it is my band in which anything can happen: )

 

[Feral Feline]

Back in my day, onstage violence was commonplace. Why, I used to work with a drummer who would routinely saw my fingers off during gigs and eat them with horseradish. Our singer impaled the saxophone player with his mic stand three times a night, four on weekends. When our manager didn't like the mix, he would take pot-shots at us from the balcony with a squirrel gun. One time the lead guitarist thought I was playing too loud - he wrapped a high E string around my neck like a garrote and hung me from one of the rafters above the stage. Then the entire band danced around my corpse singing "Kumbaya" while flogging the keyboard player with a live cat. Yeah, things were tough in those days. I can remember walking sixteen miles to rehearsal and back, carrying a half stack, two wedge monitors and three instruments on my back, barefoot, in the snow... and it was uphill both ways! My feet were bloody stumps and all my hair fell out, and we were so poor we had to perform tonsillectomies on one another in the van on the way to the pawn shop between gigs, and the record company repossessed both the tuba player's glass eyes after he failed to put enough posters up on telephone poles, which was difficult because we didn't own a hammer or a stapler or any staples so we had to use six penny nails, which our manager rented to us for eight pennies each, and we had to drive them in with our foreheads and then pull them out again later with our teeth, which were rotten because we only owned one toothbrush between the sixteen of us and no toothpaste, and the bar owners used to pay us off in dog turds at the end of the night, which we felt lucky to have because we'd all grown up with nothing more nutritious than hamster turds. But you tell that to kids these days, and do they believe you? Nahhhh.

 

[electracoyote]

Not so much ill equipped, more so the drummer needed to cool his jets and learn that he doesn’t need to deafen the audience.

With an acoustic kit? You must be playing some really, really small places, or rooms with extreme noise restrictions. I've played with plenty of loud drummers, and it was only a problem in tiny rehearsal spaces, never in a club that regularly featured pop/rock. In those rooms, step away about 10 feet and the drummer starts to fade. Even in the smaller venues we play, we're mic'ing the kick and snare to get them fuller and louder out front.

And the point remains: If you don't bring enough rig to keep up with your drummer on stage, shame on you.

 

[HawldieMPB]

drummers...

 

[Levin]

A drummer who tells you to keep it down and who tells the guitarists to come in when they're supposed to?
I need this man in my band!

Seriously, if you have such a caring musician with you, adapt to it and tell him to stop tapping your arms if it happens again as it annoys you.
These kinds of listening and caring drummers doesn't show up every day!

I clearly think it's more disreptectful to not know the cues in a song you have on a gig then trying a last resort to communicate.

As with all things, talk about it in a relaxed manner with your drummer so you can sort it out! It's something easily solved, and not worth making a deal out of IMO.

 

[interp]

I once had a drummer hit the edge of my extremely expensive bass to get my attention during a song. Left a ding in it.

That drummer is no longer around.

 

[red_rhino]

It's never happened to me. Not once. Not ever. And it better never happen.

That said, I always pay attention to what's going on around me on stage, and it's easy for someone to indicate what they want or need me to do.

 

[Element Zero]

If anyone ever did that to me. I'd turn down, way down, as in I'd turn my amp off, unplug, get my gear and go home right then right there.

That's just not acceptable, and I wouldn't put up with it.

Seems a bit extreme for a simple tap...
But to each his own.

 

[Element Zero]

If any of the drummers I regularly play with had no other option to get my attention other than by tapping/hitting me on the arm with a stick, it really only means one thing... that I was not paying attention to the bass/drum relationship. Not that condone it... but that situation says a lot more about me as a bass player than the drummer as a prepubescent child.

 

[dbase]

I could never get hit by the drummer because I usually stand in the back corner out of sight. Like most Bass players .

 

[BoogieZK]

Did it hurt?
If Yes, did it hurt so bad that you had to stop playing?
If yes, did you stopped playing?
If yes, then maybe it is an overreaction from the drummer.

If no to the first one, tell him you don't like that and maybe some other kind of communication is better suited.
Like staring, shouting or talking maybe?

 

[Deleted member 165050]

If anyone hit me on the arm with a drum stick to get my attention they'd get a fairly rapid response... I'd fire the guy without a second thought and get a dep in.

 

[gt96g]

Seems a bit extreme for a simple tap...
But to each his own.

Perhaps I'm mistaken, but OP made it sound like more than just a tap.

 

[Element Zero]

Perhaps I'm mistaken, but OP made it sound like more than just a tap.

True... my friends and I (all in our late 30s and early 40s) still sock each other in the arms every now and then... just long time friends messin around... guess it just depends on the level of friendship in said band. But, point taken.

 

[brianrost]

Maybe not with sticks, but I have been signalled by drummers (and other players) routinely, even more so when the drummer was the BL

I've done it myself as well, just did it last night in fact when the drummer was missing some important parts of the arrangement. Mid-song makes sense if the song is going off the rails. After the song otherwise.

 

[Quinn Roberts]

I think i know you well enough

And you think you're opinion matters why???

Being a snarky jerk to someone you don't know over a comment not directed at you; I just don't get it. Feel free to avail yourself of the ignore option so you can stop obsessing over me.

To quote some examples here... Don't handle the situation with the attitudes displayed here!

Again, I'm not going to debate people's tolerance levels and what constitutes an "insult." That's entirely up to you, although I will observe that some people tend to focus on condemning the style of the messenger instead of addressing the more important contents of the message. Your drummer had what I consider two legitimate concerns, and I personally would not put him on the spot about touching you with his drum stick; rather, I would be far more concerned about discussing stage volume levels and why the guitarist either doesn't know the changes or isn't looking at the drummer for them more often.

You can embellish and focus on the "slap" (whatever that means) and forget that a drummer is kind of stuck on his stool and can't walk over to you to communicate. It's your call.

If you trust and value your drummer like I trust and value mine, I'd be forgiving of the tap on the arm and thank him for raising two issues that can tarnish or improve your shows. Then we'd work it out before the next downbeat.

This is some of the best advice on here. I'd think in context of what was trying to be said and not how it was done! I'm sure he didn't intend to insult you guys mid-show. When you're in the moment not everything can always be well planned-out, and I'm sure while his mind was running through how to play your all's song at the right tempo/volume/feel/etc he wasn't putting all his brain force towards the best way to grab your attention! That all being said, I can't think of too many other ways a drummer can communicate to you (other than eye-contact, and if you were sticked chances are you were looking somewhere else, possibly for a good portion of time too). If my drummer needs to make a point that he feels is important mid-song, I'd be more mad at him for NOT getting my attention in someway!! That's called chemistry, and if you're all in your own little bubble up there, oblivious to one another, than there won't be very much of it!