I totally get the rat-fur aversion...cat hair, dog hair, and--bonus!!--in rural areas like where I live, sometimes you have to set your gear down on unpaved surfaces, with crunched-up leaves, gravel, grass clippings, etc...relatively smooth, non-porous coverings are a big plus.
Ignoring perceived Ferrari/Pinto standards for a moment, have you tried the Hartke Hydrive cabs? I have not, but the 112 version looked cool to me because it was light, had a top-mount cast recessed handle (tough, flush for gear-stacking), was 19" or so inches wide (handy for those with rack power amps and stuff), switchable impedance between 4 and 8 ohms...and I have read a few comments that they sound deep and articulate.
The 115 version is an 8 ohm cab but still seemed pretty light to me. As it happened, I acquired an AudioKinesis cab before getting around to trying the Hydrives, but they might be worth a look. Those Pintos might have been flawed efforts as early economy cars...but they weren't Vegas, and the Ford 2.3 OHC was a fine engine that went on to power some pretty cool Ford stuff, post-Pinto. See, that kind of reasoning is so confusing you'll be trying Hartke stuff before you know it, and you won't mind it a bit. You'll even be using one of those Kawasaki-green-fretboard Dean P-basses when you do it. You've been compromised, man.
Did you say that you can load a 810e cab into a Honda Fit? Like, all doors shut and latched, driver's seat in a useable position to operate the car?
That is amazing. I have found Fits to be kind of weird-looking (as opposed to the Versa and Prius V, which I like the looks of) but if what you say is true, I am going to look on those cars with real respect now. That sounds like a good example of form following function, and I feel like a shallow twerp of a car nerd for not realizing it.