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- Thread starter 4dog
- Start date
Interesting enough, I just looked up the expression and apparently I've been using it wrong. I didn't know it meant someone was holding a grudge; I thought it meant someone had a big ego or high opinion of themselves over others.
Oh wow...first time reading I thought you meant someone with like a computer chip in their shoulder and I couldn't see why anyone would treat them differently
wow post #2. i didn't know that!!! i had the same thoughts, i've been wrong forever with that expression!
so OP, was the apparently wrong definition of this expression what you meant?
if so, yeah, i deal with it regularly. kitchens are full of egos. just remember that what other people think about you really shouldn't bother you. most of the egos we have to deal with are smoke screens for insecurities anyway. another way is to kill 'em with kindness. it will pester the snot out of someone trying to get a reaction from you when you just smile and thank them for their opinion. when you totally agree with them and take their point of view to the extreme (especially with a sarcastic tone)-- making it apparent to them how childish and ridiculous their behavior is.
the sous chef where i work was fired (during a tirade, of course, in the middle of a dinner rush). for almost a week there were "measuring contests" going on all over the place with the alphas all vying for the position. i just went on ahead and excluded myself from all of the "whipping it out" and "chest-pounding". the owner eventually pulled me into the office and offered me the job.
basically, just be the grownup, take the high road, move on and be civil. don't fall into the trap and join in the game. we aren't gray apes, you don't have to beat your chest and throw poop.
so OP, was the apparently wrong definition of this expression what you meant?
if so, yeah, i deal with it regularly. kitchens are full of egos. just remember that what other people think about you really shouldn't bother you. most of the egos we have to deal with are smoke screens for insecurities anyway. another way is to kill 'em with kindness. it will pester the snot out of someone trying to get a reaction from you when you just smile and thank them for their opinion. when you totally agree with them and take their point of view to the extreme (especially with a sarcastic tone)-- making it apparent to them how childish and ridiculous their behavior is.
the sous chef where i work was fired (during a tirade, of course, in the middle of a dinner rush). for almost a week there were "measuring contests" going on all over the place with the alphas all vying for the position. i just went on ahead and excluded myself from all of the "whipping it out" and "chest-pounding". the owner eventually pulled me into the office and offered me the job.
basically, just be the grownup, take the high road, move on and be civil. don't fall into the trap and join in the game. we aren't gray apes, you don't have to beat your chest and throw poop.
I always thought the expression meant someone who was looking for a fight.
I believe that back in the day if you had beef with someone, then you would put a wood chip on your shoulder. Then dare that person to knock the chip off. If said individual does knock off the chip, it's on.
I believe that back in the day if you had beef with someone, then you would put a wood chip on your shoulder. Then dare that person to knock the chip off. If said individual does knock off the chip, it's on.
I've always taken it to mean that someone had a complex about something or a "hot button" that would make them hostile whenever you brought it up...basically, someone looking to prove something...
I give them space, think before I speak and let them be the A-hole. I have a boss w/a variation of this issue.
Kill them with kindness. I know, I know, it doesn't make sense to be so kind to someone who doesn't seem to deserve it. Give it a try though. Sometimes you'll be surprised.
-Mike
-Mike
This actually does sort of work. They usually get frustrated and go away. I have to deal with this A LOT. A bunch of people, for some reason, are really pissed off that they have to spend any money on anything and just love to take it out on my coworker and I. They walk into the shop all in a huff that they're about to get totally ripped off by scam artists (so they think) and characteristically put on this big dramatic show of being shocked and outraged that things cost more than they think they should (free). My coworker gets it worse than me, though. I work outside for most of the day and when I'm in the shop, I'm usually on the phone in the office, so I don't get the pleasure of retail sales for the most part.
Funny thing is, they almost always drive brand new luxury cars, but act like they're gonna go bankrupt from spending a hundred bucks.
Not everyone does this. It's just a very loud few.
I don't associate with people who are overly dramatic or are cesspools of negativity.
The number of people who are like this with whom I cut ties is staggering. Some of them were even members of my family.
I'm much happier now!
The number of people who are like this with whom I cut ties is staggering. Some of them were even members of my family.
I'm much happier now!
Actually, not bad. Sometimes, the cooler and more reasonable(and less reactionary) you are, the better. If it's someone who's otherwise reasonable, but is just having an issue, they may realize it and cool themselves down. If it's someone who's got something to prove and is trying it on you, they'll likely grumble and go off in a different direction once they realize you just don't want to play it their way.
My brother-in-law, Trevor. He's become very feeble. He moves like a 100 year old man with Parkinson's. Almost to the point where he need velcro shoes. He was a very bad alcoholic. Drank straight liquor very heavily. Kind of surprised he still has his teeth. I wonder if he killed his liver. He claims that his condition is from getting hit in the head with a baseball bat. I read him the riot act yesterday. Constantly craps on his mom, who he lives with because he's unemployed and unemployable. Hates his uncle, who drove from Raleigh to Corpus Christi to pick him up and all of his crap. Never even thanked him. Uncle John put a roof over his head, fed him, AND gave him a job even though half of his work had to be re-done. I asked him what John did to him and he just said "I hate him" over and over, never giving any specific incident. I told him he needed to let it go and that he sounded like a self-centered 15 year old boy. He said he'd let it go when he's back in Texas and everyone else is on the east coast. I almost punched him in the face, but I think I might have killed him. I'm not a big guy, but I've got at least 6" and probably 70 lbs on him. In all honesty, I don't think he's got much time left. He struggles just to stand up. My wife doesn't think he'll see the year 2015. He's 6 months older than me. Will be 44 in Sept. and has not made a good life choice in more than 15 years.
Rich people stay that way by not spending their own money,,lol,,everyone knows this or should.
