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Don't know if I'm in or not. Stressing!!!

randysmojo

randysmojo

Jan 14, 2008
1,073
28
51
Temple, TX
randybarnette.com
#1
I've played two gigs with and band that is the biggest group I've ever played with. First gig was a little rough, but I nailed it the second show. I know they don't have a steady player, so I made my intensions clear that I am up for being a steady, loyal member. They said "alright", like they would consider it, but left it at that. After the last show was over, they all complimented me repeatedly, but still haven't said any more. How can I approach them with tact and get something from them? I don't want to piss anyone off and loose the possibility. They are signed to a bigger Indie Texas label, and have 5 albums out with another one in the pipe. Any suggestions?
 
#7
bassinplace said:
Nothing wrong with asking as long as you do it respectfully and professionally. You've gotta look after your own best interests. They should respect that.
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Respect those that respect you. Being strung along is a form of no respect. However it's the way a lot of bands handle auditions.

I believe this was a live audition, I can understand why bands would want to do this. I would never audition live for several reasons.
 
#9
randysmojo said:
They called and want me on the gig for this weekend too. I think I'll wait until the gig is over and if it goes as well as the last, I'll ask him if I can start telling friends I'm in the band. A kind of light hearted way to ask. He's pretty laid back and would probably be cool with that.
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I wish you luck, hope you get it.

Worse case scenario, they have already made their choice, but the guy can't start yet

By the way, I wouldn't say anything to them, I would wait it out.
 
#10
I'll take a different tack. As long as you're getting paid to do the gigs you're doing, I don't know that you should press them for a decision. There's a reason they haven't told you that you're in the band. Who knows what it is, but it exists. Without that intel, you don't know how a request for a decision will be taken.

It's been what, a few weeks? If you have a pressing reason that you need to know (and the main one would be pending offers from other bands for dates in the next while) then fine, but put it that way. Just saying 'hey, so am I in the band or not' or 'hey, can I tell my friends that I'm in the band' doesn't seem too pro to me.

It's actually good to let them know you're keen on the gig, but IMO not so good to press them for a decision.
 
#11
tradernick said:
I'll take a different tack. As long as you're getting paid to do the gigs you're doing, I don't know that you should press them for a decision. There's a reason they haven't told you that you're in the band. Who knows what it is, but it exists. Without that intel, you don't know how a request for a decision will be taken.

It's been what, a few weeks? If you have a pressing reason that you need to know (and the main one would be pending offers from other bands for dates in the next while) then fine, but put it that way. Just saying 'hey, so am I in the band or not' or 'hey, can I tell my friends that I'm in the band' doesn't seem too pro to me.
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I agree, the waiting period is the worse part of the audition.

We never know what their doing, if they have been auditioning friends of the band or if they are having another guy play tonight.

Do you like the band, have you made your decision?

Did they have you audition vocals?
 
#12
randysmojo said:
They called and want me on the gig for this weekend too. I think I'll wait until the gig is over and if it goes as well as the last, I'll ask him if I can start telling friends I'm in the band. A kind of light hearted way to ask. He's pretty laid back and would probably be cool with that.
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Question: Are you being paid for these gigs?
Im just wondering if maybe the band is not looking for a fulltime bassist, but rather just someone to play the shows with them as a hired gun.
 
#13
bluewine said:
Respect those that respect you. Being strung along is a form of no respect. However it's the way a lot of bands handle auditions.

I believe this was a live audition, I can understand why bands would want to do this. I would never audition live for several reasons.
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You should respect everyone and just don't deal with those who don't reciprocate. It doesn't sound to me like the OP has reached the point of being strung along yet, but he will if he doesn't speak up.
 
#14
My question is, do you know if they're even looking for another permanent full-time member of the band?

This certainly wouldn't be the first band where there are 2-3 long-term core members who run things and are used to working together, and then other players are called up as needed for gigs but aren't really "members" in the sense of having a say in band decisions/direction.

Edit--Oops, I see MM already posted the same thought...
 
#15
I'm not the kind of guy who would ask, but would keep pursuing other options & staying busy. If it works out with them, great, if not I'm onto the next thing. Also if they hear of this it may help them make their decision, one way or the other.
 
#16
The singer had asked me at the last show if I have been playing with anyone else and I told him only an occasional pickup gig, but I really like his music and I am up for being a regular member. I left it at that. He is a really laid back guy and we have a very friendly rapport going on, so I think asking him if "I can tell my friends I'm in the band" in a light hearted manor, while might not seem "professional" to say Eric Clapton, in this case it would be seen for the way it is meant and not as the literal. I am not in it to tell my friends, or impress anyone. I truly and deeply dig this guys music and playing with him. I do have other people wanting to book me, although not for as good pay as him, so I really want to know so I know if the dates he is book will be my calendar as well. I have played two shows and have one tomorrow night. the pay so far has been $200, $260 and tomorrow will be $200. That is my pay, plus drinks are always included and food if it is available at the venue. Heck, if I'm in, we will be taking a bus to Nebraska in July for 2 shows (Friday and Saturday)that I will clear $600 on and not have to pay for travel or food!
 
#17
randysmojo said:
The singer had asked me at the last show if I have been playing with anyone else and I told him only an occasional pickup gig, but I really like his music and I am up for being a regular member. I left it at that. He is a really laid back guy and we have a very friendly rapport going on, so I think asking him if "I can tell my friends I'm in the band" in a light hearted manor, while might not seem "professional" to say Eric Clapton, in this case it would be seen for the way it is meant and not as the literal. I am not in it to tell my friends, or impress anyone. I truly and deeply dig this guys music and playing with him. I do have other people wanting to book me, although not for as good pay as him, so I really want to know so I know if the dates he is book will be my calendar as well. I have played two shows and have one tomorrow night. the pay so far has been $200, $260 and tomorrow will be $200. That is my pay, plus drinks are always included and food if it is available at the venue. Heck, if I'm in, we will be taking a bus to Nebraska in July for 2 shows (Friday and Saturday)that I will clear $600 on and not have to pay for travel or food!
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Sounds like groovy bread to me. I would still wait. I am betting you get an answer this weekend.
 
#19
I'll hold off and just play it cool. thinking about it, I know of people that have talked themselves right out of gigs by being to pushy and overly in their face about it. A good friend of mine even lost a salary gig with a big Nashville guy that was paying $100,000 a year because he acted too excited and pushy about it. It's just so hard to sit and wait. People keep asking me if I got the job. So far I've been telling them "well they haven't told me I'm out!"
 

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