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Don't know if I'm in or not. Stressing!!!

#21
Keep it pro. There's nothing wrong with telling friends about who you're currently working with and gigging with. It doesn't seem that important to be "in the band".
Besides being "in the band" could constitute a paycut!!! You might be better off financially on a casual basis as long as the old ego can handle that. At any rate congratulations-and remember enjoy the moment!
 
#22
randysmojo said:
I'll hold off and just play it cool. thinking about it, I know of people that have talked themselves right out of gigs by being to pushy and overly in their face about it. A good friend of mine even lost a salary gig with a big Nashville guy that was paying $100,000 a year because he acted too excited and pushy about it. It's just so hard to sit and wait. People keep asking me if I got the job. So far I've been telling them "well they haven't told me I'm out!"
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The right decision. Obviously, if a friend of yours lost a gig by being too excited and pushy, that's a real good indicator as to how you should proceed.

When I mentioned the phrase 'tell your friends' and suggested it wasn't pro, I did not think that the guy would take it literally. I just wanted you to know how it would sound to me. Basically, it would sound too keen, over eager, as you mentioned. You seem to be on top of the situation now, so good luck with the gig.
 
#30
Well ya, but I have other gigs that I need to know if I am available, so I can't just go gig to gig waiting for them to call and ask me if I can do it. I don't want to be pushy and ruin it so I will wait for a while for them to make the first move, but I have $150 gigs that I have to turn down if they are going to hire me, but it isn't fair to leave that guy hanging until the week of and then tell him I can't do it because they want me for another show. I hate these situations.
 
#31
I might string someone along if they had many, but not necessarily all of the qualities I was looking for. I would hope to go one of two directions before long: either get someone else, or make their addition permanent. I would not enjoy stringing someone along, and I would try to do it for as short a time as possible, but I will not make a decision before I am ready to do so.

But remember:

I AM AN ASS.
 
#32
randysmojo said:
Well ya, but I have other gigs that I need to know if I am available, so I can't just go gig to gig waiting for them to call and ask me if I can do it. I don't want to be pushy and ruin it so I will wait for a while for them to make the first move, but I have $150 gigs that I have to turn down if they are going to hire me, but it isn't fair to leave that guy hanging until the week of and then tell him I can't do it because they want me for another show. I hate these situations.
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If you do ask, I would state this reason. Better still, tell them your gig schedule and see if anything clashes. You might not get an answer as to whether you're in the band permanently, but at least you won't piss your friends about. Plus it will make you look more professional to the bigger band.
 
#33
FRom the last text message I got, I think they are not really trying to string me on, they are just not real organized about how they handle things. I got a text with dates through September! I sent one back and asked if I'm on for a couple they have on the calendar for May, and the contact (singer's girlfriend and the backup singer) said as long as they are not Acoustic shows. She said she would have everything together on Monday and get back to me. I'm guessing she means she will get the schedule together and figure out which are full band gigs etc. Sounds to me like I'm in, but will get the final word tonight! Rock 'n' Roll!!!!!:bassist:
 
#34
Agree with playing it cool. You don't want to be the needy "Where do you see this going?" girlfriend type do you? Nah, didn't think so. Any time that has happened to me in the past it just made me pull away. Pressure in this situation may do the same thing. Bide your time, if you are good fit the gig will be yours without having to ask!
 
#36
You may be "in" the band but still not a full band member.

For a band like that, IMO, that may take awhile.

Like others suggested: play it cool, know the songs inside out, be professional. What I would add: be trust worthy, keep band business confidential, and act like part of the band-not like an over exited fan!

I would plan on a business low pressure meeting at some point just to find out more about how things are run. especially if you will be recording originals withthe band some time.

Good luck with the gig!
 
#37
randysmojo said:
Well, they never said the words, but told the booking agent to get with me and get my schedule so he books around it! Guess I'm in!!!
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Hate to say this, but it doesn't sound like you've figured this situation out yet. Don't 'guess' you're 'in'. If they haven't explicitly told you you're 'in' the band, with everything that entails including being legally 'in' in terms of writing credit/other income streams, you're not 'in'. The post above this one has some good advice.

Just because they told the booking agent to get together with you and look at your sched and their sched for the next xx months absolutely does not mean you're 'in the band'. They would do exactly this with their sidemen.

You're a pro, right? And this is a job. So treat it as such. Don't spend so much time wondering if you're 'in the band'. Take the work they give you and as someone else suggested, continue to hone your craft with a long term view to being a working pro. As a pro, you take work. You take their work until such time as it's not optimal for you. If they ask you to play with them exclusively, you cross that bridge when you come to it. If they have 5 albums and are signed by a label of decent size, you'll know you're 'in the band' when you sign a contract. Until then you're a sideman.

I'm pretty sure that you haven't much liked the sound of this. Just consider it, from someone who's been doing it for about 30 years. Be a pro and quit trying to 'guess' whether you're 'in the band'.
 
#39
randysmojo said:
Well, they never said the words, but told the booking agent to get with me and get my schedule so he books around it! Guess I'm in!!!
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I hate to be Debbie Downer but IF you're in, you're getting their schedule and you're booking around their schedule.

What happens if there is a conflict? Are they not going to do the gig?

If it means that much to you, clear your schedule and make yourself 100% available and don't push the issue. Take the short term hit.

Ever have a girlfriend give you the "we need to talk about our relationship" stuff?

Don't do that.

Failing that, be the professional hired gun. "Here are my current commitments, here are my dates of availability AS OF TODAY." You are a priority and I will hold open any tentative dates you are working on to the best of my ability and will consult you prior to booking over those dates"
 
#40
Stumbo said:
You may be "in" the band but still not a full band member.

For a band like that, IMO, that may take awhile.

Like others suggested: play it cool, know the songs inside out, be professional. What I would add: be trust worthy, keep band business confidential, and act like part of the band-not like an over exited fan!

I would plan on a business low pressure meeting at some point just to find out more about how things are run. especially if you will be recording originals withthe band some time.

Good luck with the gig!
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+1... good advice above. Even if they like your bass playing, it may take a while before they feel good with you as a being a partner in the band. A well established pro band is like a business, you don't ask everyone who works with you to become a full partner. With five albums under their belt they have a long history so you may have to pay some dues before getting into the club. They may want to see how you react under different real life situations before they ask you to become a full member. At this point they are in the driver's seat and you are lucky to be along for the ride. Act like a pro. If you act too needy, you will blow it.
 

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