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Don't you ever wish you played flute?

Discussion in 'Bass Humor [DB]' started by Bethelbass1, Feb 13, 2005.


  1. I always get this comment. People think they are extremely clever for saying and I have to just nod and say "sure".

    Does anyone have witty comments they have heard so often that they just make you want to laugh or say,
    "I've never heard that one before"
     
  2. jgbass

    jgbass Guest

    Dec 17, 2003
    I always get the comment "you should have played picollo."

    I just smile and say I left mine at home. I really do have one I inherited from my grandfather. Or, I say, maybe in the next life.

    Comes with the territory, although today I heard from another female "you must have really get upper body strengh." True, I liked that one and told her that I have discovered muscles I never knew I had, started laughing, and flexed my triceps. :)
     
  3. I do play the flute - but I think I have more fun playing the double-bass.
     
  4. Alexi David

    Alexi David

    May 15, 2003
    NYC
    I've often told people that I play a flute on Steroids...
     
  5. Marcus Johnson

    Marcus Johnson

    Nov 28, 2001
    Maui
    Nope. Here's why...

    ...bass unemployment line

    ....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................flute unemployment line

    The big girl has served me well over the years.
     
    bebopbassist likes this.
  6. Bijoux

    Bijoux

    Aug 13, 2001
    Denver-CO-USA
    Yeap, I get the flute think all the time. but worst than that is that people believe I play the Cello, and on one occasion a girl almost got into an argument with me trying to convince me that I played the cello instead of the bass. :rolleyes:
     
  7. Chasarms

    Chasarms Casual Observer

    May 24, 2001
    Bettendorf, IA USA

    I had a similar experience with someone who I actually took for a reasonably-experienced musician. Rather than pursuing a fruitless argument, I decided to say:

    "It's a bass cello."
     
  8. I always get "that's a big guitar" or sometimes "how do you get that under your chin" to which the answer is (borrowed from Don Weller) "I keep my mouth shut"!
     
  9. Bye the 12th "why didn't you choose the violin?" I say "I did, but it kept growing!" :D
     
    Dean Foster likes this.
  10. oliebrice

    oliebrice

    Apr 7, 2003
    London, UK
    I use that too!
     
  11. Ed Fuqua

    Ed Fuqua

    Dec 13, 1999
    NYC
    Chuck Sher publishes my book, WALKING BASSICS:The Fundamentals of Jazz Bass Playing.
    As per MAKE US BEWELL, " No, cause if I played flute I'd be sitting at home instead of going to a gig". Then mutter "****ing moron" under your breath.
     
  12. I recently heard: "That's a big guitar." Reply was: "Is asked for the size large but they were all out."
     
  13. Sophie

    Sophie

    Feb 8, 2005
    Canterbury, UK
    The best I heard the other day was:
    -What's that?
    -It's a double bass
    -Oh. Is it true they don't have frets? :confused:


    Never, I repeat NEVER take a bass on the london underground at rush hour on a saturday evening in the sales... :help:
     
  14. Alexi David

    Alexi David

    May 15, 2003
    NYC
    Yeah, next time I'll tell 'em it's a Baglama with a pituitary disorder - thus inserting two words that most idiots wouldn't know
     
  15. Kat_Mia

    Kat_Mia Guest

    May 7, 2004
    Dorset, UK
    I use the 'I keep my mouth shut' line too! Leaves some people speechless.

    I do play the flute and the piccolo but bass is more fun.

    I was once at a day rehearsal for my orchestra but I joined the wind orchestra for their rehearsal too. I was walking through the doorway to the rehearsal hall and a parent turns to me and says 'Goodness, that looks a little heavy; Don't you ever wish you played the flute?' And as if by magic I whip out a piccolo from my shoulder bag and say 'I do!' 'Oh' was the answer. I think somepeople think that because you play such a big instrument it's impossible to do anything else?
     
  16. McHaven

    McHaven

    Mar 1, 2005
    playing tuba i always get "Wow, what a big trumpet!" or just the other day i got "Wow, what a big tuba!" What the hell? Have you seen a soprano tuba or something? Tubas are Tubas you moron.... Ignorance is the worst thing on earth
     
  17. nicklloyd

    nicklloyd Supporting Member/Luthier

    Jan 27, 2002
    Cincinnati, Ohio
    When I was younger I used to haul my bass around on the "T" in Boston. During one commute I came across a guitar player...

    GP: "Huh! That sucks, carrying that big thing around."
    me: "Where are you going?"
    GP: "Rehearsal.... where are you going?"
    me: "A gig."

    I also once heard a six-year-old girl correct her father. She said "No, daddy, that's not a cello, that's a double bass."
     
  18. JTGale

    JTGale

    Oct 26, 2004
    Hummelstown, PA
    At least playing double bass we never have to hear that awful American Pie joke, "And this one time, at band camp ... " :p
     
    Chris Eyde likes this.
  19. Marcus Johnson

    Marcus Johnson

    Nov 28, 2001
    Maui
    Whoa...now there's an image that'll stay in my head for awhile :eek:
     
  20. mister_k

    mister_k

    Jul 27, 2004
    Los Angeles
    this one time, in the emergency room..........