I just discovered this thread and read the whole thing. Got a few new responses to the standard, "don't you wish you played a smaller instrument?" question - thanks... I'll have to use those.
When I get the flute comment, I like to tell people that my bass case is a flute case, and then pull a flute out of the bow pocket (I don't play with a bow, so that long skinny pocket has other uses) & start playing it, and discussing flute stuff with them, totally throwing them off from the original flute/size question.
I also tell people that I had to get a smaller instrument because the piano was just getting too heavy to lug around. So this bass IS my smaller instrument.
When I was a teenager (a 5'2" tiny female) & I played in a bluegrass group with my Dad and his friends (all big tough, older football player type built guys), people always made the comment, "why does the smallest person have to carry the largest instrument?" So, we started messing with them & making our arrivals and departures a comedy routine. I would have the bass on my back, the fiddle strapped to my front, and then a banjo in one hand and a guitar in the other... We'd walk into a gig like that - with me carrying everything and the big strong men carrying nothing. We got some good laughs, but one time we were playing at a nursing home, and they didn't understand that it was a joke. They were so mad at those mean men for making me carry everything. I'm now playing in a group where I'm the only person under 6'6" tall (I'm still only 5'2"), so I'd like to work up something funny like this again.
When people see me getting my bass out of my Honda Civic, they wonder how I got that in there. I stump them when I tell them that I can easily fit two upright basses in my car (which I can - let me know if you need to do it and I'll tell you how).
I get different comments when I play my EUB, and am not as fluid with responses. One that has ceased to be funny is the wind up joke. I like to spin the bass while playing it, and people are impressed. I tell them that I have to spin it because it's not an electric bass, it's a wind up bass. They really believe me (I tell those same people that my pickup is a cable TV hookup, and that that's where I download the songs I play). Doesn't work so well with the EUB, though... Anyone have any good responses to people wondering what an EUB is? Since they don't even know what a real (double) bass is, they're really thrown off... My nickname for my EUB is my "Fake Bass" - so I just go with that and tell them that it's not really real.