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Discussion in 'Miscellaneous [BG]' started by two fingers, Oct 2, 2013.

  1. two fingers

    two fingers Opinionated blowhard. But not mad about it. Gold Supporting Member

    Feb 7, 2005
    Eastern NC USA
    Man, am I the only person who has to deal with music dorks?

    Example A:
    One of my best friends is 47, slightly overweight, and balding. He sells medical supplies. He has a (2nd grade teacher) wife and two kids, 7 and 4. He lives in the burbs and drives a tan mini-van. However, he wears a headband and black T-shirt everywhere he goes except work (even "preppy" backyard parties and such). He STILL thinks he's going to make it in the music business. And he is CONSTANTLY hounding me to join another hard rock 80s style project. His kids often go without stuff they should have so that he can but more PA gear, more guitar gear, or more "rock clothes". Nothing is allowed in his garage but music stuff. The kids' bikes live under tarps in the yard and are rusting. When I invite him to my kids' birthday parties, he gets all mad when I say "No, we are NOT going to play a set at the party. This day is about the kid."

    Example B:
    Another friend is an amazing keys player. He can do it all from buttery 60s and 70s style Rhodes and Hammond lines to full-blown 80s synth mania. He could be the secret weapon of any band in my area. But, he wants to start a band playing Devo album cuts and other obscure synth pop that nobody (and I mean NOBODY) has ever heard of. No market for it around here whatsoever. He wants to name his band Capacitor and the Dielectrics. :eyebrow:

    Example C:
    Guy runs a successful regional band. They play mostly hot country smash hits, classic rock standards, and the occasional laid back (jimmy Buffett or something similar) bar song. He's bored. Rather than starting a side project as an outlet, he is running his successful band into the ground by doing just STRANGE stuff. He is insisting that band members dress in funky suits on stage that make no sense in a band like his. He is having his girlfriend stand on stage and paint odd little modern art paintings and trying to raffle them off (and getting really snotty with the audience when nobody buys a $10 ticket to win the painting). He is throwing an Ozzy song, or a Priest song right in between Jimmy Buffett and Kenny Chesney (again, in suits). The band's regular clubs and private party agents are dropping like flies. And he says "They just don't understand what I am trying to do." What the.......?

    Why are musicians such DORKS????? Why can't people be an "artist" and not be a DORK at the same time?
  2. I'm finding myself dealing with more screw-ups than the colourful dorks you've come across, but in my fledgling days as a gigging musician the one thing I'm finding over and over is that the people behind the instruments are the most infuriating part of it all. And the people coming to see us. And the people booking us. You know what, just the people.
  3. bongomania

    bongomania Commercial User

    Oct 17, 2005
    PDX, OR
    owner, OVNIFX and OVNILabs
    Man, I would be best buds with dorks B and C, and I would go to their shows.

    I painfully resemble dork A, so... no comment.
  4. two fingers

    two fingers Opinionated blowhard. But not mad about it. Gold Supporting Member

    Feb 7, 2005
    Eastern NC USA
    I still am good friends with them.

    "C" is particularly annoying though because others are depending on this band for a living. And the band is literally imploding. In two months they have gone from a full calendar to a couple gigs a month. If you NEED to be a dork, go start a side project and be a dork. Then go back to work on Friday and Saturday night and make some dough. He will probably be financially ruined if this keeps going in the wrong direction.
  5. t77mackie


    Jun 13, 2012
    Wormtown, MA
    Are these guys available?


    It's just the way of the world, mate. Thing of it is, they all seem to be happy / content in their ways. Who are we to question that?

    Move on and find the right group of people that have the same vision as you.

    Good luck!
  6. Technotitclan

    Technotitclan Lurking TB from work

    Mar 1, 2012
    Rochester, NY
    Example A sounds like the future version of my current guitarist/best friend. sad and unfortunate but he cannot be convinced hes not an upcoming rock legend. He constantly talks about how playing at Rock em Ring in Germany is going to be awesome and tries to fire band members for not having the dedication to tour. Even though our band barely does a gig a month.
  7. I am Soma

    I am Soma Supporting Member

    Jan 2, 2013
    you should have titled this post "is anyone else angry others arent as cool as me?"
  8. preside


    Aug 7, 2010
    Scottsdale Az
    If I had read this 10 years ago I would have thought we knew all the same people :)
    The first guy is an pretty common example. Sorry , but there comes a time when you have realize you just ain't gonna "make it". It can be hard for some to accept a middle class suburban life with a wife and 2 kids. I don't know why I always think it sounds kinda nice (I don't have kids) and It is the American dream. The keys guy sounds a bit like me. I was a real good bassist who sold everything to learn Chapman stick, what was I thinking. 10 years later I'm back on bass but during the stick years I did some REALLY odd projects. I guess all I'm trying to say is people in general are weird, not just musicians, and as I get older they seem to be getting weirder.
  9. Batman!


    Oct 29, 2004
    Example B sounds cool, as long as he doesn't have expectations to make a living being a capacitor. If he's just looking to have fun playing some small, quirky places, then there are probably people out there with an ear for something different played by a talented musician.
  10. joe vegas

    joe vegas Supporting Member

    sounds like all three of those guys are following their own frequency, in spite of any pressure to stay behind the electrified yard fence.
    god bless 'em, i say.
  11. two fingers

    two fingers Opinionated blowhard. But not mad about it. Gold Supporting Member

    Feb 7, 2005
    Eastern NC USA
    Nah. I don't require my friends to have the same vision as I do. I don't work with any of these guys (which is why we're still friends).

    And "happy" is a relative term. They seem to be a bit depressed that THEIR vision isn't adopted by the masses.

    A seems to be a bit depressed with family life (and his family is amazing). His whole life (since he turned 22) has been a long mid-life crisis.

    B is brilliant but works behind the counter at a paint shop and pisses and moans about how the world isn't "fair". And he gets bent out of shape when he puts up CL ad after CL ad and nobody responds.

    C is just going nuts I fear. He has lost a lot of weight (and by all accounts is NOT abusing drugs). But also seems to be going through some sort of "mid life crisis trying to find myself tired of being a sellout" kind of thing.

    So, no, none of them are really happy. If they were, I would let it go. Because their happiness (other than the happiness of those kids) is the most important thing to me. They are being dorks AND depressed.
  12. two fingers

    two fingers Opinionated blowhard. But not mad about it. Gold Supporting Member

    Feb 7, 2005
    Eastern NC USA
    Nah. I'm a dork for a lot of other reasons. But I at least try to keep my head on straight. And I don't do angry. I never even said I was angry. I never even IMPLIED that I was angry.

    (Letting your kids wear worn out clothes and ride rusty bikes while you own a herd of $2500 guitars....... and are an OK at best guitar player...... kinda pisses me off. I'll grant you that one. But my anger manifests itself as secret Santa gifts and random surprise packages for the kids. So it all works out I guess.)
  13. Jazz Ad

    Jazz Ad Mi la ré sol Supporting Member

    I can't make friends with winners. I love dorks. Most of my friends are and I wouldn't change them for anything.
  14. two fingers

    two fingers Opinionated blowhard. But not mad about it. Gold Supporting Member

    Feb 7, 2005
    Eastern NC USA
    He wonders why he doesn't make $100K a year to mix paint.... and wonders why some "agent" hasn't discovered his musical genius...... even though he only plays his music at makeshift writers nights in a town of 3500 people.

    If h were more like what you described, heck I would probably JOIN the band just for kix. It would probably be fun. (Probably not much room for bass guitar in the synth world though.)
  15. mrbell321


    Mar 26, 2012
    N. Colorado
    If you're on the internet talking about music, you might be a music dork yourself. :)
  16. two fingers

    two fingers Opinionated blowhard. But not mad about it. Gold Supporting Member

    Feb 7, 2005
    Eastern NC USA

    (But my dork friends don't know that....... :bag:)
  17. alembicguy

    alembicguy I operate the worlds largest heavey equipment Supporting Member

    Jan 28, 2007
    Wow and I thought we were friends

  18. two fingers

    two fingers Opinionated blowhard. But not mad about it. Gold Supporting Member

    Feb 7, 2005
    Eastern NC USA
    Oh here still my boy ya big dork!
  19. xk49w


    Apr 13, 2008
    But that's part of it though isn't it? Andy Warhol seemed kind of dorky to me. Van Gogh, dude was messed up - love to try him in the band though. Probably a lap steel player.

    Guy I play with - "when we get on the Big Stage..." We're in our 50s playing 30 yrs together. How do I tell him that if it was going to happen, it already would have? I don't tell him - just nod and say "yeah" carry on.

    Dorks. I'm right there in it.
  20. fhm555

    fhm555 So FOS my eyes are brown Supporting Member

    Feb 16, 2011
    Beats me. I have a long time friend who styles herself a "primitive artist". She's very much a primitive, but far from an artist. I tell her from time to time that just because no one understands your bizarre behavior, speech, and dress, does not make you an artist.

    She is quit oblivious to what everyone else sees, and pretends everyone loves her and her work. I've seen people tell her she is a no talent azzclown and it's like water off a duck's back. she doesn't try to rationalize that kind of stuff, it just disappears from her conscious mind within minutes of it happening.

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