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Dumb Kiddie Jokes
- Thread starter Dr. Cheese
- Start date
So this guy hears a knock at the door. He opens it to find only a snail on his step. He picks up the snail and throws it into the yard.
Three days later he hears a knock at his door. He opens it only to find a snail on his step. As he looks down the snails says "what was that all about".
Three days later he hears a knock at his door. He opens it only to find a snail on his step. As he looks down the snails says "what was that all about".
- Oct 7, 2000
- 18,619
- 38,939
- Disclosures
- Endorsing artist: Musicman basses
bassonthebrain said:
What did the number 1 say to the number 7?
Nice hair.
2 snowmen are sitting next to each other on a mountain. One says to the other, "Do you smell carrots?"
What's yellow and goes "Slam-Slam-Slam-Slam"?
A 4-door lemon
Why can't witches have babies?
"Cause their husbands have Halloweenies.
You're so ugly, you....
..Would have to sneak up on a glass of water
...Have to tie a pork chop around your neck to get the dog to play with you
...Could fall outta bed and never hit the floor
Pink Panther after stepping on an ant "Dead Ant.....Dead Ant......dead ant..dead ant..dead ant..dead ant..Dead AAAAAAnnt"
What kind of meat do Priests eat on Fridays?
Nun (I know I know......What can I say.....we went to Catholiuc School)
A 4-door lemon
Why can't witches have babies?
"Cause their husbands have Halloweenies.
You're so ugly, you....
..Would have to sneak up on a glass of water
...Have to tie a pork chop around your neck to get the dog to play with you
...Could fall outta bed and never hit the floor
Pink Panther after stepping on an ant "Dead Ant.....Dead Ant......dead ant..dead ant..dead ant..dead ant..Dead AAAAAAnnt"
What kind of meat do Priests eat on Fridays?
Nun (I know I know......What can I say.....we went to Catholiuc School)
Whats smaller than a teenie weenie flea?
The teenie weenie weenie of a teenie weenie flea.
What do you get when you cross a rhino and an elephant?
'Ell-if-I-know.
A broke guy walks into a bar, and asks the bartender for a free drink. The bartender, being the charitable type and figuring the guy can get some stuff done for him, lines up 10 shots of whiskey on the bar and tells the man if he drinks all the whiskey one after the other, goes out back and pulls his rottweilers sore tooth, then comes back to then go upstairs and sleep with his grandmother, the drinks will be on the house. So the guy, desperate for a drink, accepts and proceeds to down all 10 shots and stumbles on outside.
About 30 minutes later, the bartender was getting a little worried, it had sounded like there had been a big scuffle outside, then silence. Another 10 minutes he was about to go outside and check on what was going on, when the guy comes swaying back in through the back door, clothes in tatters. The barkeep asked him what took so long, to which the broke guy slurred, "I dunno, but wheres the broad who needed the tooth pulled?"
Yeah, I know, but you asked for elementary school jokes...
The teenie weenie weenie of a teenie weenie flea.
What do you get when you cross a rhino and an elephant?
'Ell-if-I-know.
A broke guy walks into a bar, and asks the bartender for a free drink. The bartender, being the charitable type and figuring the guy can get some stuff done for him, lines up 10 shots of whiskey on the bar and tells the man if he drinks all the whiskey one after the other, goes out back and pulls his rottweilers sore tooth, then comes back to then go upstairs and sleep with his grandmother, the drinks will be on the house. So the guy, desperate for a drink, accepts and proceeds to down all 10 shots and stumbles on outside.
About 30 minutes later, the bartender was getting a little worried, it had sounded like there had been a big scuffle outside, then silence. Another 10 minutes he was about to go outside and check on what was going on, when the guy comes swaying back in through the back door, clothes in tatters. The barkeep asked him what took so long, to which the broke guy slurred, "I dunno, but wheres the broad who needed the tooth pulled?"
Yeah, I know, but you asked for elementary school jokes...
What goes blackwhiteredblackwhiteredblackwhiteredblackwhiteredblackwhitered...?
A nun rolling downstairs with a knife in her back!
Q: What's black and white and red and has trouble getting through a revolving door?
A: A nun with an arrow through her head.
Why are there no aspirins in the jungle?
Because the very low population density would make it economically unviable to set up and maintain retail outlets for even the most widely used pharmaceutical products.
Because the very low population density would make it economically unviable to set up and maintain retail outlets for even the most widely used pharmaceutical products.
- Oct 7, 2000
- 18,619
- 38,939
- Disclosures
- Endorsing artist: Musicman basses
I was going up an escalator and tripped yesterday. I fell down the stairs for an hour and a half.
A man brings his goldfish to the vet and says, "doc. my fish is really sick." The vet says it looks fine. The man insists and says, "no! he's really sick, he may have epilepsy or something. he has bad seizures." The doc looks again and says, he's fine. Look, at him swimming around. The guy says, "oh yeah. take him out of the bowl."
A man brings his goldfish to the vet and says, "doc. my fish is really sick." The vet says it looks fine. The man insists and says, "no! he's really sick, he may have epilepsy or something. he has bad seizures." The doc looks again and says, he's fine. Look, at him swimming around. The guy says, "oh yeah. take him out of the bowl."
sing it:
'mcdonald's is your kind of place
they push burgers in your face
hot dogs between your toes
french fries go up your nose
and have you had their chocolate shakes
they're made from rattlesnakes
mcdonald's is your kind of plaaaaaaace!'
'mcdonald's is your kind of place
they push burgers in your face
hot dogs between your toes
french fries go up your nose
and have you had their chocolate shakes
they're made from rattlesnakes
mcdonald's is your kind of plaaaaaaace!'
